And yes, my hair is aflame
Not my stupidity, someone else's. Although it may be argued that my being with him in itself puts the onus on me...

My ex was trying to light a fire in the hearth. He never cleaned it out, insisting that it didn't need it, and so had to resort to more and more resourceful measures to get the fire going. Cooking oil, plastic bags and bottles, candles, my hairdryer (no, not burning it - using it)...

One time he was emptying a gallon of meths on to it from a plastic container. The gas inside it ignited with a bang and blew the container out of his hand and into my face as I sat innocently nearby. Before I consciously knew what was happening my reactions were quick enough for me to block it swiftly with an upward motion of my arm, so it span away and bounced off the top of my head.

"WTF?" I thought, but that was nothing compared to what I thought next, when my ex set upon me and started beating me about the head.

Then he literally fell about laughing, unable to speak with mirth. Eventually he gasped "you - your face! you were like this," and he opened his eyes wide with his fingers "with flames - your head - on fire - bar har har har!"

Remind me again why he's my ex?
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 22:23, 1 reply)

After reading the title
I have an image of someone nonchalantly sitting there infront of a lovely open fire and saying "And yes, my hair is aflame." Would have been the perfect response to this situation :-)
(Rev O'Lucian will unfortunatly age on, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 22:50, closed)