Bob
Oh yes, Bob. He flunked out of our A-level class at 17, a victim of a none-too-generous IQ and a dismal combination of an extremely short fuse and a total lack of pugilistic ability, such that he would pick fights constantly, which he would lose.

Bob, however, was blessed with stunning male-model good looks, which irked us all considerably, and he used them to slowly crowbar his way through life, despite his lack of talent at pretty much anything.

The first job he charmed his way into after dropping out of school was with a firm of estate agents, where the combination of shallow charm and rank stupidity marked him out, even at that tender age, as a natural.

One of his very first assignments was to check up on an empty property the agent in question was looking after, and amongst his duties was to check whether the utilities were still working and connected. You know, water, sewage...

...and gas.

Bob turned on the hob as soon as he got there, and yes, the gas worked fine. He spent another 2 hours looking around and sorting a few things out. You guys have probably figured out what happens next - he forgot to turn off the gas. An hour after he left the building something rubbed against something else with just enough force and... boom.

Yes, only Bob could get a job as an estate agent and manage to blow up one of the houses he was supposed to sell, nearly permanently rearranging his chisled features in the process.

I tracked him down on facebook a few weeks back, his profile is 100% public and features over 80 pictures of himself, preening and posing. He now looks even more like Brad Pitt than he did at 17, and despite his history (which included being thrown out of the TA for threatening to blow someone away with a loaded SA80 when he lost his temper) he is now a well-paid consultant. I cannot emphasise enough that this man has the IQ of cottage cheese.

Fucker.
(Axeman Jim, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 2:45, 2 replies)

I imagine
Bob will probably die a rich man. Please post his facebook profile!
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:34, closed)

Damn Bob....
....but still, and amusing tale. *clicks*
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 11:31, closed)