Scream
Some years ago I was summoned for a regular check up. My two budgies, Percy and Emily (named after the Coronation Street characters), had both passed away in the previous two months, so I was glad to have something to divert my mind from the all-consuming misery that had engulfed my very soul in recent weeks.

I walked into the surgery for my check up confidently. I've never been scared of dentists. After all, they're just ordinary people like you or I. (If you're a horse, then I apologise for such a sweeping generalisation, but I would be interested to know what kind of modified hoof-mouse and equine keyboard you use.)

"HELLOOOO THEEEEERRRRRE!" screeched the dentist through the hygeine mask covering his mouth and nose. The sheer force of shock slammed me into the back wall. Not wanting to offend the dentist, I smiled politely and sat on the leather chair.
"JUST LIE BACK AND RELAAAAAAAX!!!" he wailed. I did as he said and looked up at his upside-down face glaring down at me. His glassy eyes peered down through wire-framed spectacles. "OPEN YOUR MOOOOUUUUUUTH FOR ME PLEEEEAAAAASE!" Tufts of golden hair reached out from his scalp like solar explosions spewing from his head-sun.

"I CAN SEE IN YOUR MOOOOOUUUUUTH , STU!" he squawked with glee. "NUUUUUUUURSE! COME IN HEEERE AND LOOK AT THIS YOUNG MAAAN'S MOOOOUUUUTH!"

The door smashed open and a nurse, also with a mask over her mouth and nose, hopped in, arms by her side, feet and legs together, like a hygienic mouth-kangaroo. The dentist grabbed a mirror and held it in front of my face. "LOOK AT YOUR FAAAAAAAAACE!" he screeched. "LOOK AT YOUR MOOOOUUUUTH!"

This was all a bit too much. I decided to leave and go private. I tried to sit up but I was unable to move.
"YOU C-C-CAN'T L-LEAVE, STU," chirruped the dentist.
"Do I know you?" I asked, frightened now.
The dentist laughed, and the nurse joined him. "OH YES, YOU KNOW US!"
They removed their masks and stared at me expectantly. The nurse looked vaguely familiar, but the dentist's face drew a blank.
"AAAAH," he screeched, "FORGIVE MEEEE!" With that, he removed his glasses. It was then that I noticed the white, downy fur on his cheeks and the yellow feathers around his neck. I looked at the nurse. I hadn't noticed before, but her head was full of blue feathers, and I could now see her orange beak.
"Oh no!" I cried. "Emily! Percy!"
The two dental budgies burst into hysterical laughter.
"I don't understand," I said. "You're dead."
"WE WEEEERE!" hooted the dentist. "BUT WE'RE BAAAAAACK!"

And that was how I found out that my two dead budgies had been reincarnated as dentists.
(stusut79, Wed 8 Nov 2006, 11:56, Reply)