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This is a question DIY disasters

I just can't do power tools. They always fly out of control and end up embedded somewhere they shouldn't. I've no idea how I've still got all the appendages I was born with.

Add to that the fact that nothing ends up square, able to support weight or free of sticking-out sharp bits and you can see why I try to avoid DIY.

Tell us of your own DIY disasters.

(, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 17:19)
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Making things is what I do
DIY, although not something I rush to do, is somewhat second nature to me. I make most things myself - I cook, invent recipes, garden, make people cards and presents (not the shit - oh, a home-made christmas card type stuff - things that are personal to you, are things you specifically like and are humorous) fix cupboards and shelves, make clothes, know how to weld large steel things etc etc.

All this leads to a certain state of mind. Like the little old lady in Goodness Gracious Me, why you need to get that when I can make it at home for free?! All I need is one smaaaall aubergine... It's not a cheapskate approach, it's just that when you know how something's done the markup on products is thrown into sharp relief. So there you are, pitched against the world and ready to make anything damnit!

So a couple of summers ago, I was at Glade festival. It was fantastic, a nice friendly place with biassed cross-section of society. There were lots of people in outlandish getups, and there were stalls where you could costume yourself similarly. It was at this point that an increasing number of chubby girls started walking past wearing those tiny, glittery, fluffy fairy wings.

"Gah! You, you're not aerodynamic! If you were a REAL fairy you wouldn't be able to fly with those pissy little bloody wings!!! I'm gonna make a REAL pair of wings that I'd be able to fly with!!?!"

I then collapsed from a punctuation overdose. The idea was lodged though. I would make fairy wings to scale, or at least as near to scale as I could. And so I did - of course they weren't actually to scale, the wire wings would've collapsed under their own weight and I wouldn't have been able to move anywhere, but they had roughly a six foot wingspan and I was satisfied. They also flapped nicely if I wiggled my shoulders back and forth.

Here I am in a cafe with them on. Spot the aubergine.


(, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 22:22, 9 replies)
I can see it!
Top right of the wing in the picture (left wing)
(, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 22:41, closed)
Those are fantastic
how big are they?
(you could be really small)
(, Thu 3 Apr 2008, 23:55, closed)
those are brilliant!
how long did it take to make them?
(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 0:41, closed)
ooooo pretty!
how much do they weigh?
(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 4:18, closed)
Wow!
They are without doubt a fucking cool pair of wings.
(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 8:27, closed)
Excellent job
Did you make the Vulcan ears too?
(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 8:27, closed)
Funnily enough
I am pretty tiny! Not that tiny though, or I'd be in a scaled down cafe with tiny tables and bowls...I'm 4 foot 11, but it's hard to tell the scale very well from the pic due to foreshortening and all that Jazz. Roughly 6 and a half foot from tip to tip.

They're not massively heavy actually - to make the structure stronger the entire outline of the wings is made from a single length of wire. Unfortunately, I was making them in a tiny room which I shared with three bunkmates on my top bunk, and seeing as it was all one piece the entire room was filled with bent wire before I could gather it all together at the centre. I almost decapitated one of my roomies! The wire stuff was done in a day. Sewing material, sequins, padding the sraps...three weeks working on it on and off.

Of course, I naturally have pointy ears and blue hair...
(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 10:39, closed)
Beautiful
And the wings are pretty good too.
(, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 17:42, closed)
Wow!
Those are fantastic!
(, Sun 6 Apr 2008, 2:40, closed)

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