My mate Pikey
- his aunt. She invented the cheese filing system. Basically she invented hyperlinking before Tim Berners Lee got round to inventing the World Wide Web. She'd get quite irate about particular issues and would compose stern letters, which were originally about cheese but had been expanded to incorporate many other subjects:

"Dear BBC,
Your news article this week showed a 'hovercraft' - what a clever machine! Essentially, however, this is a misnomer. It does not, in fact, hover. It should actually be called a skimmercraft. Please amend your bulletin."

She would write this in shorthand and file it, under the cheese filing system, in categories pertaining to "hovercraft", "skimmercraft", "boat, "transport" and "water". Had she learned the fundamentals of database systems she would have been in her element. Instead she died and her family spent a good deal of money deciphering the notes she had carefully taken when they were children. This proved vaguely redundant when they turned out to be the lyrics "do", "a poo" and "English country garden".
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 3 Nov 2008, 23:36, Reply)