Not me but...
My friend has an incurable bowel disease. She used to have to carry a notebook and pen everywhere she went to record her movements. Each entry had to specify time of poo, amount, colour and consistency, in some detail. We used to call it her log book.

It must have made interesting reading for whoever found it on the bus.
(Pachey, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 14:06, Reply)

Vigilance
I used to always carry business cards for the non-existent organisation, "The North-West London Vigilance Committee"

Organisation Motto: "A Laugh, A Smile, A Brutal Coshing!"

The NWVC was set up during a heavy drinking session in a run down pub in NW London, following the recent burglaries of both mine and a mates posessions.

We decided to devote ourselves to truth, honour and vigilante justice. We also decided that the best time to start this campaign of brutali...I mean vigilance was after many pints of lager.

So anyway, there was this couple on the corner outside the pub, her in a cocktail dress, him in a tuxedo. They looked 'wrong', know what I mean? They were hanging around suspiciously, were overdressed for the area, it was *obviously* suspect and needed investigating. So we nonchalantly staggered out of the pub (we would have sauntered but falling over drunkenly intervened) and casually strolled over to begin the interrogation.

For some reason the following exchanged dialogue betwen us while we wandered over (this took some time) made them start walking away:

"They look sussusipicious mate!"
"Lettsh ush inveshtigate comrade!"

We decided to follow surreptitiously (in reality, really obviously) with lots of really loudly whispered "Shuss's!", badly attempting to hide behind parked cars as we went.

They started to break into a run, we followed suit, this time to catch them up and 'explain' that we were a newly formed vigilance committee and we were "There for their protection". Unfortunately they made it to their car and drove off before we could reassure them. I hope they are glad that we were there to keep the streets safe from scum like...well, like us.

The above story is all true word for word. I'm so proud.

I hope it reassures you that I and my friend have now channelled our energies into much healthier pursuits, like swordfighting and now own a large selection of swords and axes.

I did also think of making up cards with stfu dot com on them and giving them out to overly loud, tedious idiots in public places. The idea was, they would go home and check out the URL and be presented with a well deserved loud "SHUT THE FUCK UP!".

Someone else got the URL (and on last look had done something odd with it) and my usual lack of action prevented me from doing anything with it. Someone else has probably done it by now too...
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Mon 31 Oct 2005, 13:42, Reply)

never know
considering the fact that I never use the same purse two days in a row, and concidering the fact that I never empty my purses, I never know what odd items Im dragging with me...
as an example; the purse I used today, contained a santa clause hat...

im not gonna excuse my grammar, im a viking:)
(Norwegian20, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 12:57, Reply)

once a piece of one of my back teeth broke off...
...while i was eating haribo gummybears of all things.

i carried it around with me for at least a year. looked pretty disgusting. yellow on the outside and brownish on the inside. kept it in the same pocket of a pair of denims. got through a whole bunch of 60 deg washing cycles. still looked rubbish. but the outer surface of it was quite smooth nice to play with.

the jeans are gone now and so is my tooth.
( bierbelly, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 12:56, Reply)

well....
guitar picks (an assortment of thicknesses and colours) - because you never know when somebody might need to borrow one

4 seperate lighters - 2 clippers, a cricket and my zippo. I got fed up of either forgetting my lighter or having the zippo run out of fuel. I'm a smoker's best friend.

Tobacco, rizzlas, filters - because they're cheaper than pre-rolled fags

Keys (complete with bottle opener shaped like a crocodile)

MP3 player - because people might try to talk to me if i didn't have it.
(mrcheese989, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 11:58, Reply)

I always carry
the smell of gin and a slight feeling of regret
(Bunnygirl, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 11:51, Reply)

To counteract those who bore me.
In my wallet I carry pictures of my 2 little cats (Figgles and Battles). This way if someone is boring me with their opinion or anecdote I can just look at the whiskered little fuzzballs and I am protected from the abject boredom I am confronted with.

What is it with people thinking that I give a fvck about them or their damn ways?

Other than that the only odd thing I can think off is the golf club I found in my car boot the other day. How it got there - pass. If anyone has lost a 7 iron give me a shout.

Is a list of Asterix books I require to complete my collection a smidge odd?

Does 5 stone of excess fat count?
(Taco Tickler, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 11:43, Reply)

Dull but...
My father always carries nearly 1kg of keys as well as a comprehensive toolkit. Just in case.
(lankymike, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 11:40, Reply)

essential items
In metro-Asia, there are lots of sad stray cats. I always have some cat nip and a small tin of cat food in my bag. Luckily there is lovely 7-11 for when I've come out without replacement tins. Even when i go somewhere new, cats come out to greet me. I now have a bit of a witch reputation.
(cherrypie, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 10:33, Reply)

I am so hardcore,
I work in a lab with stuff that I am allergic to, so with and hour of the first itch I am be red, bloated and feeling pretty shitty.

So I carry, antihistamine cream, tablets (2 types) at all times.

this works well until I start to travel, the last 2 times I have flown I have been practically strip searched.
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 6:57, Reply)

My manager
I was at work one day when my backpack refused to open. The fabric overhang that protects the zipper easily gets caught in the actual zipper making it a hell of a job trying to pull it out and this day no amount of pulling would get the zipper undone!
My manager saw my dilema, reached into her handbag and pulled out a pair of pliers! Within a matter of seconds the problem was solved.
All I could think was why does she carry around a pair of pliers? For times when zippers need fixing or perhaps even pulling teeth?!?
(ThoughtsInsideADream, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 5:48, Reply)

What I carry around with me
I carry at all times:
-Palm Zire 71 = camera, MP3 player, organiser, photo album (OK, it's crap at the first two, but it works)
-Mobile phone
-Leatherman multitool
-Swiss army knife
-The biggest bundle of keys known to Man
-Unrolled paperclip for resetting my palmtop
-Earphones
-Wallet
( Halkyardo isn't quite sure, on, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 5:35, Reply)

Two things
I have a good amount of stationery most of the time. In my left pocket I carry a pen (usually the four-colour kind) and mechanical pencil, wrapped in a piece of regular-sized paper I use for jotting down phone numbers, notes, and random thoughts. I've never thrown any of these papers out, and may someday publish a book of them (which only I would be capable of deciphering).

In my right pocket I carry a black permanent marker. Look ye upon my works and despair.

First one is my friend Paul marking up an Australian friend who woke up later and slugged him.
www.indecline.net/korea/archive/20050402/30.JPG

Next is me showing off with my artwork.
www.indecline.net/korea/archive/20050416/87.JPG

Third is a skinhead who I hope looked at the back of his head before he went to church the next morning.
www.indecline.net/korea/archive/20050505/77.JPG

And last my friend Never Daniel who fell asleep in the park and woke up a different colour.
www.indecline.net/korea/archive/20050703/87.JPG
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 3:44, Reply)

what I carry
I have a caribeaner which I always attack to a belt loop. Attached to the caribeaner is another smaller caribeaner, and all my keys. Also attached to it are several hair ties, since my hair is long and I work in a lab where I am required to keep it tied back. The most interesting object of course is the metal spatula that I put through the loop and diaply prominently from the belt. It acts as a good mirrored surface, a backscratcher, and an effective weapon. I mostly carry it because I found it while rummaging through my basement one day and it just seemed like a keen idea at the time, and I've had it ever since, despite being stopped several times by securtity type individuals since it is sharp and metallic.
(sicodbane, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 23:56, Reply)

deep down in the depths of my pocket.....
i carry a knife to stick the bastard!! mwahahahahaha........


and maybe a tissue to wipe off any excess blood, hair, spunk.......u get the picture
(lola_fish, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 23:52, Reply)

I usually always have with me:
My digital camera, my phone, a small sewing kit, a small set of screwdrivers, mini emergency make-up set, spare batteries, a couple of wrapped sweets, loose change, a pen, a pencil, a notepad, my purse, chewing gum and odds and ends I haven't managed to rid my hangbag of yet, usually the odd photograph, scrap of paper with a scrawl on, duff batteries and things I've picked up off the pavement. Oh yes, my glasses cleaner, several pairs of keys to several residences and automobiles, some laminated leaves, my mp3 player/usb and one of those Argos notes with the number on. Oh, and a letter I haven't posted yet. A couple of receipts and a blob of blu-tack. And my car CD-player if I'm driving, with CDs if I'm in a large city. Ah yes, and several assorted stickers nabbed from work, 'fragile', 'hub', 'important' etc.
Sorry this answer isn't very amusing, it's just honest.
( CaroWallis, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 23:37, Reply)

In My pockets..
I have.. Digital Camera, Wallet, 3Ft long Waller chain, Keys, Gameboy Advance, Pokemon FireRed, Can of IRN-BRU, Marker Pen, and a Pencil!

Even though I have no job, no real work to do, I need to take everyone of them with me.
(Sticky Shocker!, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 22:57, Reply)

Fish.
I also bring a small collection of plastic fish that I've been accumulating for who knows how long. They're not very big, an inch long at the most, but who knows, I might just need a purple plastic goldfish someday. And they're handy for throwing.
(Fodqou, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 22:49, Reply)

Nothing Exciting here
If Im driving : wallet keys to the Saab, sunnies, mobile phone and cd wallet
If someone else is driving : wallet, sunnies, mobile phone, laser pointer (for disturbing the driver) 40gig ipod, digital camera, usb drive.

if im flying all of the above and a psp
(Funkwomble XBL and PSN DangerBoy73, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 22:43, Reply)

You just never know......
.....when you'll need a screwdriver, a sewing kit, a antacid tablet, a paracetamol, a 20p coin, insurance documents, the agenda from last weeks meeting, two diaries and a permanant marker. I blame the Brownies....
(Lucretia, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 22:09, Reply)

Weapon of Choice la la la
I just rummaged through my purse and found:
Camera
Chicken Puppet
Camera Charger
Cell Phone
Moisturizer & Lip Balm (MANGO!)
Huge 70s glasses without the glass (just frames)
A quarter of an oreo cookie
Safety pin
Spare bra.

Funny, the bra and the chicken were the only nonessentials.
(britishbroccoli, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 21:15, Reply)

im strange!!!!!
i carry around piece of metal, dont no why but i guess its good for hittin people wit and pokin people wit. good memories of pokin people wit it :P. im really evil arnt i??????


hmmmmmmmmmm i luv hittin people with it
(lyin git, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 20:56, Reply)

When I'm teaching...
In my bag, I tend to have:

2 whiteboard markers
2 black pens
2 blue pens
2 red pens
1 pack of blu-tack
1 pritt-stick
1 bottle of tippex
1 hole punch
1 pair of scissors
1 maths set
Lesson plans for Maths
USB stick with ICT lessons
1 newspaper (for breaktimes, swatting flies, bees and wasps to stop the kids being hysterical)
1 Engineering calculator
1 Lip balm
1 bottle of vitamins
1 Teacher's Planner
Hair Gel (you've got to stay smart)
Spare Tie (a colleague once caught his in the guillotine)
1 Spare calculator (for the dumbass kids who forge theirs)
Pack of batteries (for the electronic register
Penknife (for quick tech fixes)
1 bottle of water
1 pack of aspirin
1 pack of strepsils
1 pack of antacid
Mints

I'm the utilitarian kind of teacher. I don't have a permanent room so all this follows me as I go through the day.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 20:16, Reply)

well...
recently i've taken to going out with a pvc, lace-up gimp mask with a zip up mouth. yes it may be cause for some odd looks on the dance floor, but people tend to leave you alone.
( ygolyhuop; jkb;vi, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 19:59, Reply)

My P910i & headphones
...with a Gig memory Stick Duo onboard, carrying my CV, a couple bits of software 'in transit' and full versions of Life of Brian and Mr Jolly Lives Next Door.

IF I've remembered my headphones, train journeys fly by....shame I drive most places but there y'go
(InfiniteZenMaster, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 19:25, Reply)

Hmmm
I tend to wear trousers with plenty of pocket room. Let's take a rummage now and see what's in there...
Keys (even though i am indoors)
Phone
Receipt for some pens
A pen
Eye drops
Fluff
A lid from a water bottle.
That's it
(Mart'n has managed to not be obscene since, Sun 30 Oct 2005, 18:45, Reply)