Oh god this is embarrassing
But I guess it's always going to be.

As a pre-teen, my dad always had a garage well-stocked with calendars of ladies with their jubblies out. I'm not sure if my dad even used the calendars for their intended purpose (marking dates and that). In fact, I think it was March for a whole year in 1989 thanks to Fiona from Croydon and her luscious shirt potatoes.

Anyway, I started noticing something strange happening whenever I looked at dad's pornographic date tables. My little chap, who was then at his littlest and most chappiest, would move ever so slightly whenever I looked at the calendar.

My feeble little mind was unable to comprehend how there was a link between what I saw and how my appendage reacted (actually, to this day I don't think I've been able to figure that out), so I shouted out - in front for my parents - "COR! SHE'S A WILLY-WAGGLER!"

From here, whenever I saw a scantily-clad buxom young lass in the paper I'd shout out "COR! SHE'S A WILLY-WAGGLER!" Or if there was an attractive member of the fairer sex on TV (probably Debbie McGee) (standards were low in the 80s) there would be the inevitable cries of "COR! SHE'S A WILLY-WAGGLER!"

My parents found this all rather amusing, and didn't ever try to stop me. Until one day when I was in town with my mum and I saw a rather curvacious woman in skimpy summer clothing. The inevitable shout went out to the extent that I think she heard me. Cue inevitable bollocking from mum, who didn't seem to think it was that funny anymore.

I didn't say it after that.
(hnnrs, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 0:15, 10 replies)

I fully intend to start though

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 0:22, closed)

Hilarious. 'ave a click.
(Avnas dosh!, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 3:59, closed)

Ha!
You nutter ;o)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 8:12, closed)

Shirt Potatoes
Pfft.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:21, closed)

Nice work.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 10:01, closed)

Brilliant
*Clicky*
( Scrumper, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:13, closed)

Genius
Plus it solves the argument about what to have on my mum's headstone.
(electricteeth, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:19, closed)

Haaaaaaahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:34, closed)

I sometime see Debbie McGee at work
I'll give her a shout if you like, for old times sake
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 14:08, closed)

Haha!
Do it!
(hnnrs, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 15:44, closed)