And old age is...
putting your pen down to write a critique of a post and forgetting where you put it down two minutes ago
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 23:43, Reply)

Guaca the Mole did you read the earlier posts?
I said that, with a humorous comment about paedophilia*

Did you read it, find it hilarious but subsequently forget as memory is the ... umm .. something ...

Or did your cataracts prevent you from noticing it?
*Paedophlia is in no way funny. The views of this senile demented old student in no way reflect the views of B3ta
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 23:42, Reply)

Scary
I went to see Claytown Troupe at the weekend and all my friends who are only 3 years younger than me had never heard of them.
(Beklet is inexplicably angry, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 23:36, Reply)

meaning of words
When I was a lad, 'Gary Glitter' was an amusing monicker for 'toilet'.

Nowadays it seems to mean 'abhorrent sex crime'

Bloody kids.
( moonjam, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 22:58, Reply)

Okay, not exactly in the spirit of the question . . .
. . . but let's turn it on its head.

Let's face it, those of us in our late-twenties and thirties (27, me) have nothing to complain about. Here's why:

1. No-one is going to make you do homework ("Maths? No thanks. I've got a calculator and that's all I need").
2. You finished school before the school system in this country went to shit.
3. No-one is going to make you sit an exam.
4. No-one is going to thrust a UCAS form at you and ask you to pick a Uni and a course that will shape how the rest of your life plays out.
5. In fact, you've already made most of the big decisions in your life.
6. You can drink and smoke and take drugs and stay out all night and no-one's going to stop you.
7. You can have sex with whoever you want, whenever you want (well, in theory).
8. You can feel smug and superior when around young people.
9. You have the right, nay the duty, to declare that fasion/music/tv was much better when you were young (and you're right!)
10. You have money. And cars. And nice shiny electronic gadgets.
11. Girls and boys 10 years younger than you are not illegal.
12. You belong to the IT generation and can keep up with the advances in technology while simultaneously reminiscing about the golden age of home computing.
13. You're finely poised between the prime of life and middle-age - you're in the best physical condition you'll ever be in. (Take from that what you will). If you're female (sorry lads) you're just reaching your sexual peak.

and finally . . .
14. The best thing about getting older is discovering who you are. When you're 18 you don't know shit about the world and you don't know shit about life. Age gives you experience, maturity and wisdom. It gives you the power and the confidence to be yourself, no matter what anyone thinks about you.

So, put that in your pipes and smoke it, you young whipper-snappers.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 22:32, Reply)

Evidence of advancing entropy?
I realised that I have towels older than most of the tykes who populate the gigs my band ( www.kenisia.co.uk )plays 8-/
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 21:30, Reply)

I finally realised I was getting old when...
Evidence for the prosecution -

myself and gang of mates were invited out to a party thrown by a group of girls aged 16-19 and decided to stay home and watch films rather than associate with a 'bunch of young kids with nothing to talk about'.

I have conversations with people about cooking ingedients.

I stopped buying NME-type music pares about 5 years ago.

I can remeber all those horrible 80's fashions the first time round.

I used to able to program in BASIC. On a Commodore 16.

I complain about the 'poor standard of students nowadays' who only want to 'get drunk and shag' when assigned a student nurse to look after, convieniently forgetting, that when I was student that was all I wanted to do.

I tell my students - 'You are not here just to learn you are here to work as well' whilst bollocking them about their punctuality.

Most of my favourite bands have one dead member/just split up/just released their 12th album/have announced their 3rd 'farewell tour/all of the above.

Opal fruits and Marathon bars. Enough said.

I really just don't find 'Bo Selecta!' funny and think that 'Little Britain' is just a lazy rip-off of 'League of Gentlemen'

I have developed a disturbing passion for Country and Folk music.

The prosecution rests m'lud.

*edit - I have just been through this post and corrected the spelling and grammar - GUILTY!*
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 21:30, Reply)

Those damned tablets
Chewable Aspirin.

And...

Effervescent Vitamin C tablets. You'd think by now I'd be able to spot the difference, but now I just end up with a headache and foaming wildly at the mouth.
(clopinettes, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 21:26, Reply)

you're only as old as the person you feel
'nuff said
(Guaca the Mole, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 21:19, Reply)

Grannie
I'm 28

I was on a bus the other day and saw a girl I
was at school with she had a baby with her.

I realised that as she had gotten pregnant at 14 the child could possibly be her grandchild.

Now that made me feel old
(DryGoldfish, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 21:14, Reply)

I'm not old
I'm 22, but in the last year I must have visibly aged at least 20 years. Last summer I was asked on more than one occasion, what school I was at, to which, pround of my youthful appearance, I answered that I'd left 3 years ago. This year it's all gone horribly wrong.
I was out shopping for an anniversary present for my parents with my sister. We chose a suitable classy vase in Debenhams, went to the till and I handed over my debit card. The cashier wrapped the vase, put it in a bag which she then held out to my sister and said with a broad smile, "Are you going to carry this for your Mum?!" My sister is 19. She is only 4'11" but I don't exactly tower over her at 5'3"

A week later, at the train station, renewing my railcard I was asked for ID to prove I was YOUNG enough to still qualify. I'm allowed one for the next 3 years!!
(welshcake, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 21:12, Reply)

I don't know about getting old....
...but a boy knows he is truly a man when, having been for a dump, returns to anywhere near the vicinity of said crapper and it smells like someone's dad has used it.
(genghis26, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 21:00, Reply)

when you go to a nightclub on student night
and you realise that at 22 that you're not only the oldest person there, but also quite possibly the only legal drinker.

Why is underage drinking cool when you're doing it, but so fucking annoying when you no longer have to?
( Rusty Shackleford www.junt.co.uk / @joeyrobbo, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 20:03, Reply)

Music and the youth
I'm 25 years old and on the way home recently from a game of rugby (I enjoy neither buggery nor an oppression of the working classes) was travelling with 3 team mates. The driver was 19 and had compiled a CD of slightly older tunes. Anyhoo, the 2 eighteen year olds in the back seat had been constantly complaining about the musical treats but I felt confident the next song was classic enough for a sing along with all ages. But when the entire version of Hotel California played through to screams of "What the fuck is this?" and "I've never heard it before" I felt I was just getting past it.

Also, shagged a girl (Aged 19) the other week whose Mum has been shagged by a few of my mates. Does that make them my custard uncles?
(If I touch it in public bad things happen, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 19:57, Reply)

Muso Nostalgia
In the 80's, when I started playing the electric bass, I wanted a modern instrument like a Steinberger XL-2. Twenty years later, I'm looking at 60's Gibsons and Rickenbackers. (But not Fenders - the McDonalds of the guitar world, ugh.)

Keyboardists get it too: in the 80s they all rushed out and bought the Yamaha DX7; now half the high-tech software plugins are authentic recreations of synths from the 70's (Moog Modular, Prophet-5, OSCar etc.)
( bnt what, me worry?, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 18:50, Reply)

Noise Annoys
I honestly can not function in any nightclub-type situation any more, the excessive noise means:
a) I can't hear what people are saying,
b) people can't hear what I'm saying (as if a slight stut-t-t-t-ter wasn't punishment enough)
c) I can't hear much of anything the next day, anyway.
( bnt what, me worry?, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 18:42, Reply)

Respect your Elders!
I know I'm old because it's taking longer and longer to wash my face.
(bdgr can't think of anything witty to type here, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 18:35, Reply)

do your very best
my partner and I lie in bed on a sunday morning farting and arguing whose turn it is to complain to the council tomorrow about the new bus stops in our area.

no we fucking don't

wisdom and peace are signs of aged spirit


edit*oh. i really am going to get my zimmerframe
(globalloon, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 18:26, Reply)

ill-advised skating excursion...
friday night, in the pub. myself and friends decide to go to the skate park for some fun the next day ... come the next morning i'm stood at the top of the ramp with a crippling hangover and the youngster stood next to me looks at my deck and asks for a look... "how old is this mister?" says the young scamp. i look at my skateboard and think back to when i bought it, then i look at the youngster. "hmmm, it's older than you are son" says i. i confer with mates. we shuffle off to find a nice quiet pub and think about what we've done.

the kids were much better than us anyway, and besides, having a nice pint in a cosy pub is better than hurting yourself on a halfpipe sureley?
(jimmy the hoover, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 18:09, Reply)

Stary stary night
by Don Mclean makes me cry!
(McLeod, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 17:25, Reply)

I listened to O by Damien Rice.
It's quite good.
( Rev. A-MOL is lurking around these parts again, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 17:19, Reply)

seeing rock music...
...being danced to again, but realising the ironic yoof are too distant from the real event to MOSH!

and this in an underground soho club with the ex-guitarist from whitesnake djing iggy pop.
floor goes 'la di dah to the left 2,3,4 la di dah to the right,2,3,4'
(deep whimsy, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 17:15, Reply)

Evidence that you're getting old...
When you have articles of clothing older that most of the people who post here.

Laughing on the inside.....
(arsebiscuit, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 16:50, Reply)

Oh deary deary me
I'm 28 and spend most of my time hobbling around like a pensioner cos I've developed a pile. Yes, singular.

I am now so bloody decrepit that I've had to give up kebabs and chilli cos my arse spouts blood like a harpooned porpoise if I eat them.

And if I go out on the piss without eating? Well, let's just say my kecks end up looking like Sharon Tate's living room after Mr Charlie visited :(


EDIT: Oh, and I've just listened to that new Kings of Leon track and realised the riff is lifted straight from a Kenickie song.

Mentioned this proudly to a colleague who had never heard of them. They were too young.

1995. They were 9 when the Great Lost Pop Band of the 90's put out their first album, and I started uni. For fucking hell's sake.

*Sorts vinyl collection*
( Grouch would quite like his clients to stop being numptys, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 16:49, Reply)

Evidence that you're getting old
I realised I'm getting old when I caught myself saying "they don't make them like they used to" the other day.

I've not quite got to the stage yet where I wear my slippers to the shops tho.
(MiniMac, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 16:34, Reply)

grunt / groan
Why does sitting down, bending over to pick something up, lifting something heavy - ALWAYS cause me to utter some form of noise such as a grunt or a groan. In my youth I used to be able to mount the first step of a staircase (stop sniggering) without needing to grab the bannister and HMMMPHH (or something like that). Farting too - this has become a real problem. Every morning I vent the volume equivalent of 3 or 4 small cars worth of air. Bugger! I'm only 35.
(Don Baba, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 16:16, Reply)

Lempraadon, i remember bread for 17p too!
In a minute i will remember where [obligatory memory loss joke]

Oh yes! Sainsbury's value bread - 17p Sustinence for students everywhere [and probably carcinogenic]
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 16:10, Reply)

I told Mrs Groovegenerator
that the day there was hair growing out of my ears, I was too old to live and she should just have me put down.

She got a gun out this morning........
( groovegenerator The man who mistook his wife for his wife, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 15:57, Reply)

when your son
will ask you how children are born, then all of a sudden you will feel your age.

(100% fact, tested true)
( frox, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 15:45, Reply)

...
£1.50 for a loaf of bread? I remember when it was 17p!
( Lempraadon, Wed 3 Nov 2004, 15:36, Reply)