A Lifetime's Ambition, Ruined
I am, and have always been, fascinated by animals. I watched more natural history programs on TV as a pre-schooler than is at all natural. I can remember at the age of five being wildly excited because I was allowed to stay up late and watch the original broadcast of Life On Earth in 1979. Biology was a natural choice at University, as was postgraduate study. Animals are great, and I can't ever know enough about them.

Unsurprisingly, many of my life's ambitions revolve around seeing animals. Some - such as finding my own fossils and seeing a live whale - I have fulfilled. Others, such as going on safari, I have not. One of the most treasured ambitions that I nurtured was to go diving off the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, a site of such dazzling biodiversity that send any red-blooded natural history enthusiast into near-instant paroxysms of orgasm.

It was an ambition I thought I'd never fulfil - too far away, too expensive. Until my girlfriend at University picked up nothing less than a years' paid work placement in Sydney as part of her degree. Suddenly all I had to find was money for a flight and a spending money: everything else would be catered for. I was very sad to see her go but as the weeks ticked past I became so excited. Not only would I get to see her again soon, but I'd be going to Australia! And, of couse, we'd planned to drive up to Queensland and fulfil my ambition of going diving! Oh, the ecstasy!

There were a few teething problems. I had to learn to dive first, but that proved no great obstacle as I didn't need to be properly qualified, just vaguely competent. It was a long way too, but we hired a camper van and drove on up there. The night before I was so excited I could barely sleep.

We'd booked ourselves on an organised dive tour, and had time to kill on the boat from the mainland over to the reef. It was a pretty nice boat with plenty to do to keep us occupied but one of the fun bonuses of being on a nice boat was that they'd laid on a nice buffet. We both liked - and still like - to think of ourselves as gourmets in the making so we sat down to appreciate what was on offer. It was pretty good, so we had some more. And then again it was all free as part of the ticked we'd paid so we had a bit more again. And then of course there was dessert. Delicious! And before we knew it we were there, and getting changed into our wetsuits, with me almost shaking with anticipation as I climbed into the water.

At which point I discovered I'd eaten far too much to swim, got terrible stomach cramps and could do nothing other than cling grimly onto the boat ladder while the rest of the group swam off to enjoy the underwater safari of a lifetime.
(MattDP (Squiggle), Tue 19 Apr 2011, 14:55, 7 replies)

Clicked
because I would do that.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 14:58, closed)

A Lifetime's Ambition, Ruined?
then save up and go back there then? hardly a fucking once in a life time thing considering loads of cunts do it each year. Suck a cock or two for money and go again.
(waxdart hello., Tue 19 Apr 2011, 15:04, closed)

Ouch!

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 15:09, closed)

Oh dear............
too much time on your hands
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 15:46, closed)

Like This
Better than most of the stories this week.

'ave a click me old China.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 19 Apr 2011, 16:25, closed)

Finding your own fossils?
That's a time-travel movie franchise, right there!
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 16:43, closed)

Or, you could probably create a coprolite in relatively short order. But that wouldn't make a good film.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 16:50, closed)