Tactical amusement
Every morning my daily commute involves a 10 minute trip on the waterloo and city line. It is always rammed full of people and most often I cannot get on the first two trains. Now this should piss me off. Bear in mind that I pay £7 a day for the privilege of stand squashed at the side of a train and tube for an hour a day.

But

I play a really fun little game.

Like most men, after waking up I yawn, take a piss and fart. Except on Mondays to Fridays – I hold the fart in. I hold it in all the way to the station. I sit on it all through the train journey and I hold it in while in the standing in line for the waterloo and city. By this time I have cold sweats building up and enough pressure to physically life my body off the floor.
The second before I get on the tube I let rip. As the doors close behind me I get to have a good look through the windows at the 50 odd suits that are squeezed into the tiny mushroom cloud of atomic poo death I have just created.

I then award myself a score based on facial reactions, hand gestures, face covering and tears of pain.

Today I scored a six…..yey

That’s my guilty pleasure – and I am very ashamed.
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 13:37, 2 replies)

That's ace!
...the first post I've read that's actually made me laugh out loud.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 1:04, closed)

'atomic poo death' made me lol!
That's the icing on this delicious cake of a story. I fucking love this!
( Bob Todd whee, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 19:00, closed)