.
A friend was visiting from South Africa, and during a cross-country road trip we managed to convince him that he needed his passport to get into Wales. He didn't have it with him, so we stuffed him into the boot and told him to keep quiet while we smuggled him over the border.

To this day he brags to people about illegally sneaking into Wales.
(jacob, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 1:06, 1 reply)

Being and instructor
I tell all sorts of lies to kids and clients...
Of course you can climb that... There is a McDonald's on top of that mountain... Those sheep are plastic so farmers can claim extra money from the EU...

However after the years of torment from my parents winding me up with lies, I had my revenge. I told my Mother that the tidal causeway that led to Shell Island in North Wales was built on hydraulic rams that raised it out of the sea for a few hours each day, but the road had to be dropped back down because the huge electricity bill from using it.

So much for two degrees and being a teacher... Thick bitch. I told you I would get you back for believing you when you told me my Cat ran away...
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 0:46, Reply)

Double whammy...
Best ever office wind-up...

Phoning the new girl in the office, who then shouts out the caller's request "there's a guy on the phone wants to speak to Mike Hunt"?!!

Stifled laughter escalated when she innocently relayed the message to reception and the glammed-up old dolly bird comes over the tannoy saying "if anyone's seen Mike Hunt please call reception"?!!!

The place erupts in time honoured fashion...
(minky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:36, 2 replies)

I know why I'm gullible, it's my mum's fault.
When I was a young lad, my mum used to make throwaway remarks which I (and my brother) used to soak up like sponges.

One Saturday afternoon at about 3 o'clock she asked me to pop next door to the newsagents and get tomorrow's papers, to save her getting up and getting them on Sunday morning. Off I went, only to be told "We haven't got tomorrow's papers yet - if we did we'd know all the football scores!".

I'm from Braintree, the birthplace of John Ray, who apparently is some sort of botanist. When I was about 14, the council erected a statue of him in the town centre, on a big stone base. One evening, whilst standing on the aforementioned base, I marvelled over how from the ground it looked lifesized, but was in fact about 8 feet tall and 6 feet wide.
Commenting on this to my mum, she replied with "Yeah, it's lifesize - he was a giant". My exclamations of amazement were greeted with a totally straight face and it was forgotten - until several years later she overheard me telling someone in the pub about the life size statue of John Ray.

It wasn't just me though; my (30-year old) brother recently embarrassed himself telling the entire office where he works that his great-uncle was the Safety Officer on the Titanic =D


/length? Well, apparently he was a giant, remember...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:15, 1 reply)

Finally got the old bugger...
When I started my current job, I soon realised that the soon to be retiring old timer I was eventually replacing, was a completely cantankerous bastard who blindly kidded himself that his age brought him wisdom and wit. He was the sort that flatly refused to show you the ropes or any sort of handover and loved to watch you struggle. He'd actually laugh in your face like a child if he could embarrass you in any way in front of senior staff, but went berserk with rage if he was ever the butt of the joke. Needless to say I hated him with a vengeance. We did a lot of work in London and the predictable old sod always resorted to the same routine and hotel, kidding himself he was a regular and on first name terms with all the staff. Anyway, he duly retired in the summer and come Xmas I was still smarting with anger. So I called in at this hotel, nabbed some of their letter headed paper and an envelope and concocted a "special thank you" and "complimentary weekend" inviting "Dear Billy and partner" to London for the seasonal shopping and festive lights of Oxford Street with dinner for two in the restaurant, regards on his recent retirement from all the staff.

He fell for it hook, line and sinker. Rumour has it the silly old sod demanded an enquiry from his former employers, who were too busy smirking by all accounts!

He'd actually turned up at the hotel on spec with his wife, I know because I checked and even they laughed!!
(minky, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:12, Reply)

I'm pretty gullible...
...although I prefer to think of it as "trusting".

My girlfriend is an expert at doing the "there's something behind you" thing, in order to steal food/money/poke me/laugh at my expense, and I fall for it every. fucking. time. To be fair, although it sounds like I'm bitter about it I'm not, as it makes me laugh.

I've posted this before but her finest moment came when we were eating in our local Chinese.

"Oh, I've just realised" she remarked. "That fish is sticking to the glass like that coz it's a sucker fish, not because it's ill".

I craned my neck as far as I could and looked round at the fish tank, but I couldn't see anything, so I swivelled round a bit on my seat to look properly. Finally, as I turned forwards again the words "I can't see any sucker fish. Where?" died on my lips as I laughed at the site of her spitting a Szechuan king prawn out having finally decided it was too hot to swallow whole =)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:08, 1 reply)

Older than the hills
but a girl quite recently believed me when I told her that oriental womens vag's go sideways.

Also, when I was a young'un, I pointed out one of those big round gasometers in my area (not my actual area, I mean close to where I live) and asked my dad what they were for. He told me it's what trains practice driving around on top of before they are put on the real tracks. Given their proximity to the railway station where I live I had no reason to doubt him.
Why can't parents just say "I don't know"?

EDIT: Just realised the sideways gash has bindun. But the girl I convinced was old enough to know better.
(Jboy, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 23:07, Reply)

Currently...
My mother believes she's watching 'Capricorn Two' on DVD, and has done so for nearly an hour now. She's seen Capricorn One a few times.
(kris kringle I only posted this message to find out the date on, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 22:13, Reply)

Apparently
the koreans eating dog meat thing is a myth.

EDIT: Link- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_meat
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 21:18, 20 replies)

I used to be quite gullible
And believed all the tales my ex-best friend told me, until I realised she was a pathological liar.

However, my story isn't about that.

My story begins with me and my two friends from high school watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. At the beginning, where the hitch-hiking girl eats the gun and blows off the back of her head, viewers are shown a lovely shot of the back of said head.

"Ha," Says I (we were very much into taking the mick out of poor films, in our own weird, surreal little way) "it looks like there's a possum inside her head."

We caught onto this idea, and made up, between the three of us, the whole back story to these 'brain possums' (like I said, we were weird), How they would sneak into people's heads, through the ears, reside in the brain for a bit, and then cause the head to explode, so they could get out and move onto the next unsuspecting victim.

Purely for our own amusement, it was quite blatantly made up. Or so you would think.

One of my friends made a passing comment about brain possums in drama class, and was asked to explain by the other(15 and 16 year olds, I might add) kids.

Almost all of them believed her tale of the new species of possums and got intensely scared, clamping their hands over their ears and vowing never to go near anything that looked even remotely rodent like ever again, until my friend stopped laughing enough to tell them it was all made up.

It took quite a lot of persuasion to persuade them to believe that it was all a fantasy.

I can't decide whether that is being gullible, or just downright stupid.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 20:40, 1 reply)

My friend has no sense of sarcasm or irony...
She was quoting me various things from an interior design magazine while attempting to pick a colour for her bathroom. She said that she needed to choose one of the ones that they said give a room "more space".
I explained to her that she has to be VERY careful meddling with advanced things like that. TV interior designers Colin & Justin did a surprise makeover on an elderly mans house and painted it oranges and reds to give it "the illusion of warmth." The old man froze to death in the winter not bothering to put his heating on, the effect was that powerful. The two were jailed for their negligence, thats why you don't see Colin and Justin on TV anymore.

She believed that for ages and even after I told her just settled for a pale blue...
(Mephs should get a bloody job, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 20:22, Reply)

Not me, but a uni friend
In chemistry class at school, he filled a conical flask with water and tapped the shoulder of the lad he was sat next to.
As the poor unfortunate turned round he went "Akeem! Acid!" and threw it in the guy's face.
After a bit of screaming, poor Akeem realised he'd been had, and, having been humiliated in front of the whole class, got my mate suspended.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 20:18, 4 replies)

When I was 6...
my dad told me that we were Italian, and then proved it by pronouncing our surname in an Italian way. I told EVERYONE at school. Was gutted when I found out, I was amazing at football for my brief day of Italian-ness
(europe-who, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 19:47, Reply)

Sprouts and alligators
When I was a wee schoolboresme, I'd watch and learn from mum how to cook.
One day, she's showing me how to do a Sunday roast (I was about 10, but cooked a lot) and she was prepping the sprouts.
She made little crosses in the bottom of the sprouts and I asked why.
"To let the alligators out" my dearest mummy told me. "Oh bollocks", said I, "alligators don't live in sprouts".
For 2 weeks, mum and the poison dwarf (stepdad) had EVERYONE they knew confirming their story of sprout alligators.

On the 3rd Sunday, mum was making a roast and I was out swimming or something. She had a plaster (bandaid, for you yanks) on her finger, and the blood was mixed with pus and showing through. It was gnarly. When I asked what happened, she replied that when she was doing the sprouts, one of the alligators bit her. By this point, I'm almost believing there are alligators in sprouts.

I start to eat my dinner, and as I turned over a sprout, it was covered in blood and pus*. I screamed, threw my dinner away and mum, poison dwarf and twin all pissed themselves laughing.

I haven't touched a sprout since, and I was about 13 when I finally realised my mum lied about the alligators!

*red and green felt pen
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 19:17, 1 reply)

Probably bindun
It turns out those were the driods we were looking for.
( Cheeses of Nazareth Where's Captain Kirk? www.whereiskirk.com, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 18:58, Reply)

Not nice
Upon entering Year 7 in High School, we were told that the first subject we would be covering in science would be 'sexual education'. This was met with much giggling, but after learnin what the penis did, it gave me an idea to trick my best friend's little brother (he was only a year younger than either of us, remember that), who was an absolute cunt. He once got me thrown out the house by smacking his head against my mate's wardrobe and claiming i'd done it.

Anyways, after school i went along to my friend's house, saying i was doing my homework with him. Went up to his room, told my friend my plan, and he agreed to try it.

So, we told his little brother that you could milk humans. At first he didn't believe us, and so he asked how. We told him he had to grip his willy and make pumping motions. Upon hearing this, he ran back to his room and tried it (by himself).

After a few minutes, he ran down the stairs holding a cup of a white substance. My friends and i heard the following scene from upstairs

'Look mum! I milked myself!'

'That's nice dear... YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!?'

We got a bollocking for that, but when my friend's brother entered high school, he was forever known as 'The Milkman'.
(General_Manchego, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 18:07, 8 replies)

Rough Science
I remember our science teacher, a man who was the scourge of the gullible.

Once he had a beaker of concentrated ammonia sitting in a fume cupboard, clearly labelled as concentrated ammonia. Some child walks up to said beaker and asks "what's in this Sir?". Teach responded with "Laughing gas... what do you think?". Child picks up beaker, says "oh really?", inhales deeply and passes out.

Said child was moved to another school by his parents shortly after his return from hospital.

We did laugh.
(uhf-man Callithrix (Callibella) humilis silex, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 17:23, Reply)

The "Derren Brown is gay" hoax.
I can't believe I was fooled by that with his reputation.
( Zuowan, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 17:06, Reply)

Made up stuff
I can understand little children happily believing their parents when it comes to the tooth fairy and Father Christmas, but what absolutely astonishes me is that billions of people believe in one god or another.
There are qualified science teachers here, in the US and elsewhere teaching kids that the Earth is no more than 6000 years old! If I was a maths teacher and insisted on telling my classes that 10 + 10 = 30 I'd expect to get the sack pretty soon!
I mean, really.
Just goes to show that there are many many more gullible fools in the world than those who have the ability and reason to question the bullshit they're told.
( BobbyParadise, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 16:39, 7 replies)

"OH MY GOD THAT PIG IS EATING A CHILD!"
My cousin is a cunt.
(reducedfatLOLcat, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 16:31, Reply)

I can't think of my most gullible moment.
Though I suspect there is more than one.

However a friend of mine once got told that TCP stood for Tom Cat Piss. She believed it all day, and actually went online when she got home to check this.

Same friend also had a skin tag or something on her finger, I told her that she was growing a 'nubbin'. She also believed this for the best part of a day, till someone told her it was indeed just a skin tag.
(kids_will_be_skeletons, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:59, 1 reply)

Level Crossing Cameras
Not me but a colleague...

Many years ago at a place I worked there was a very extrovert, gay and annoying French guy. He was really boastful about pretty much everything 'I've done X amount of bum, almost died X amount of times, spent X amount of money on drugs'

Really irritating.

He made the mistake of bragging about jumping the red light at the local railway crossing, just as the barriers came down! What a dangerous kinda guy he was! (sarcasm) Wow, I was so impressed. (/sarcasm)

Anyway, while he was on holiday the next week, no doubt picking up a few of the ladyboys he was always bragging about, I fabricated a letter from "British Railways Police" (non existent) which, as he drove a company car, was put in his post tray.

It went along the lines of the fact that due to the large number of motorists jumping lights at level crossings, cameras had now been put on the crossings and he had been caught (this was in the days before speed cameras). It told him he had to appear at Wokingham Crown Court (non existent) on a certain date (which happened to be when he was on holiday). I quoted all kinds of made up Traffic Acts and punishments. Including:

'Failing to give way to a Railway Locomotive' and
'Bragging about dangerous exploits to work colleagues'
(It was sooo obviously made up)

Then I did another letter dated the day after he didn't turn up in court, saying that he was now arrestable on sight.

Ha! Panic ensued when he returned to the office and read the letters. He ran around the office in his usual flamboyant style screaming and jabbering, almost in tears. He then tried to phone the number I'd fabricated on the letterhead, which also didn't exist.

I of course was quietly pissing myself in the corner. I had to tell him soon after as he was about to go up to the MD to tell him he'd been a bad boy.

Should I have done?

Click *I like this* and I might bore you all with the time I did a similar thing to an 'advanced driver' who made the mistake of telling me about a road rage incident he had when he should have known better.
(Strangechap I look normal on the outside..., Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:48, 2 replies)

OneInTheOink's story has reminded me....
...Of when my boss gave me a London telephone number and asked me to ask for Liz about a product enquiry.
You've guessed it. The fucking Queen.
The secretary I got through to was very pissed off (having probably been on the receiving end of this prank many a-time) and they have an automatic answer machine on that number now.
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:48, 3 replies)

Falling for the old crossword favourite.
FORMER COLLEAGUE - I'm really struggling with this clue 'Busy Postman'
ME - How many letters?
FORMER COLLEAGUE - Hundreds
ME - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
(Newton Crosby, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:37, 9 replies)

The Sabs
When I was a student, think Rik out of the young ones...

I started going Hunt Saboteuring. This involved getting to Zone 6 on the tube for 6am on a saturday and lasted until I ditched my anti-drugs stance and found numerous good excuses for not turning up.

I was so clueless. When one of the other sabs and I were following a hunt helper through a wood, he joked to me "let's get him". I picked up a stick. They all roared with laughter later when we were waiting outside a police station for one of our party to be released.

Oh well, it's banned now anyways.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:35, Reply)

Secretary wind up
Giving the office bints a phone number and getting them to ask to speak to certain people.

Mike Harp - the aquarium shop.
Mr Fox - the animal sanctuary.
John Deere - the agricultural equipment place.
Mr C Lyon - the zoo.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:28, Reply)

Order
Not me, but my Missy. She was ordering us a Thai takeaway on the telephone when I scribbled a last minute order on a Post-It note:

"Ask them if they've got any Phat Kok"

The lady on the other end of the phone was laughing so much the call had to be terminated.
(kingnutter, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:22, 4 replies)

Derek Acorah
Can his false claims be considered ghoul libel?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:16, Reply)

I'm not gullible
and neither is my upline.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 14:52, Reply)

Self-fulfilment
In grade 5 one friend said to another, "Matt, you're so gullible!". The latter friend, who had shown no previous signs of gullibility, thought for a moment and replied "Yes, I suppose I am."
(thelamecamel, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 14:48, Reply)