I briefly felt a pang of guilt
There was a young girl where I used to work who spent the day obviously upset about something, you know little tears and sniffles every now and then, kept running to the loo for ages. I asked what was up and she told me the courts had ordered that her pet dog had to be destroyed because it would not stop barking and the neighbours had complained. Apparently they had tried everything, muzzles, drugs, allsorts but the dog would not stop. Without taking a moment to think about it I told her to cheer up because I knew how to stop the dog barking, and explained that all she needed was a tub of margarine. She looked at me with hope in her eyes as I explained that if she examined her dogs sphincter when it was barking she would notice that it clenches with every bark. All she needed to do was smear the dogs ass with the marge and it would not be able to "get a grip" therefore would not be able to bark. I added weight to the theory by adding that it had to be margarine as the dog was likely to lick it's ass, so whatever she used had to be edible. She immediately left work, bought a tub of flora and scuttled off home. Next day, even more upset I asked again what was wrong and she told me that the margarine thing hadn't worked despite the fact that she had "even put some inside".
( TriedItOnceAndDidn'tLikeIt made you lose the game on, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 19:20, 7 replies)

Haha!
CLICK! That's genius :D
(Fawksie, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 19:29, closed)

that ones a
winner.
(imallamallama looking forward to llamageddon on, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 22:42, closed)

hahahahaha!
oh fuck, that's gold.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 0:21, closed)

fekkin'
BRILLIANT!

I only wish i could be so amusingly sadistic.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 9:01, closed)

HAHAHAHA
You forgot to tell her that it needed to contain Omega 3 :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 9:58, closed)

LOL!
That is fuckin disgusting

Have a click!
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 16:16, closed)

ahahaha!
most excellent!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 16:44, closed)