Pasta
Second only to marmite in the worlds list of crap foodstuffs of all time.
1) it tastes like cardboard.
2) it looks like cardboard until cooked, then it looks like soggy cardboard.
3) it is boring, like cardboard.
4) Pasta lasts forever in the back of cupboards, like cardboard.
5) when you're a student you spend three years eating this shit because you can't afford anything else, like cardboard.
6) the last time I ate in an Italian restaurant (one in York) it gave me food poisoning for three days, and then I split up with the girl I'd been with for three years, the same thing happened the last time I ate cardboard as well.
7) Pasta, invented by the Devil as a way of punishing the Holy Roman Empire (now Italy) just like cardboard.
8) If someone throws some pasta in your eye it really hurts, just like cardboard.
9) Parmesan cheese, whats that all about? it looks like grated cardboard and tastes like ming.
however I do like marzipan coated pork scratchings served on a bed of roast parsnip and asparagus, with a celery,mushroom and cucumber salad,rabbit pie and swede and turnip followed by a nice big bowl of trifle/rice pudding or more marzipan.
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Thu 15 Jul 2004, 0:31, Reply)