Laughing at Midgets
As much of a cunt as it makes me feel, I nearly piss myself laughing every time I see one.

I was at a party once, in a flat with a balcony.
I'd gone out to have a smoke, and when I turned around there was a midget in the lounge.
I laughed so hard that I had to stay out on the balcony for about an hour.

I wish I could be more tactful sometimes.
( Cawl, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:14, 17 replies)

yesterday
When my boss handed us our wage cheques (yes, cheques, I work in the 19th century), our technician said he was going to blow his on curry and DVDs.

for some reason this made me squeak "Ha! that's nothing! I'm going to blow mine on midgets and cheap vodka!"

I am now looking for a new job. And a therapist.


I would just like to reassure everyone that my theatre job is intact. Unlike my sanity. thank you.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:18, closed)

Hahaha!
I'd blow mine on a large under-ground carpark, midgets, a pack of feral dogs and lots of cameras :D
( Cawl, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:20, closed)

oooh, I love the way your mind works
I'll bring the balloons
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:42, closed)

Excellent!
*grins*
( Cawl, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:00, closed)

They are funny...

But I have the common cowardice decency to keep my mirth confined to pointing at the screen and laughing whenever they're on telly.

Fortunately, I don't see them out and about much...but I do tend to stare straight in front when I walk and so might not notice them...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:20, closed)

I was really spannered in a club once
And saw what I (genuinely!) thought was a small child walking across the dance floor.

I grabbed all my mates and pointed, in the fashion of 'what the fuck's a child doing in this den of drugs and general iniquity?'

Needless to say, he turned round and caught about 5 people staring at him and pointing. And yes, he was a midget, and was old enough to be in the club.

*shame*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:20, closed)

There was a midget in love it magazine a few months ago.
Who wanted to be a glamour model. I showed Boss Keloid the article and he told me that he knows a midget man who fucked her. Apparently her vagina looked like a plucked turkey.
( wanderlust, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:28, closed)

better than an unplucked one
I suppose...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:36, closed)

You could
Make a lot of money with one like that. Unplucked I mean.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:38, closed)

Yes...

But did it taste like one?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:37, closed)

Bootiful...
*spangs self with turkey twizzler*
( Cawl, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:42, closed)

*spang*
*steals turkey twizzler*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:45, closed)

*runs up to tulip*
*twizzles her turkey*
( wanderlust, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:06, closed)

*shrieks*
oh, it's you, Lusty!

*twizzles turkey twizzler at lusty*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:12, closed)

Hee hee
You've just reminded me, I dropped a dwarf a few years ago...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 15:59, closed)

I was in Prague
on a stag weekend a few years back, and in one of the 'gentlemen's establishments' which we visited, one of the 'dancers' was a midget.

Apparently she got quite a lot of business. Not from any of us, I hasten to add.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:09, closed)

Lies!
*imagines K2k6 running around with a midget attachment*
( thealternativefact, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 16:19, closed)