Could Have Been Sacked
I recently had a meeting with the female HR manager at work regarding some upcoming paternity leave. She is a woman, in her 50's, who is the very definition of mutton dressed as lamb. She always has her tiny, shriveled, sultana-like breasts half hanging out and wears clothes that are designed for women much younger and trimmer than herself. Coupled with the fact that she talks for England, I wasn’t looking forward to the ‘brief’ meeting anyway. As her office is a glass box situated at the end of the open plan part where most of us work, fellow employees are always aware when others are in the ‘Office of Doom’.

After the meeting, which went on much longer than it needed to, I received an email from a fellow worker, Dave, merely asking ‘Good Meeting?’
I replied with, ‘Nah, not really, all I could think about was sucking mouldy oysters from HR manager’s clunge’ – to which I heard a guffaw upon receipt of said email.

I received no response and forgot about it until 15 or so minutes later, when I saw Dave frantically clicking on the mouse of the HR Manager’s computer. Baffled, I waited for him to come out of her office and asked him what had happened. As he explained what he’d done, I realised I’d been a lucky man. He’d tried to forward it to another worker, James. After 10 or so minutes, James said, “Erm, still haven’t got that email you tried to forward me – you sure it’s been sent?”
When checking his sent items, Dave realised he’d actually sent it to the HR Manager instead.

I still thank God to this day that she wasn’t in her office at the time he forwarded the email to her by accident, and that she hadn’t locked her computer. I’m still also very grateful that James questioned where the email was. However, the thing I’m most grateful for is the fact that I received IT Support from the unlikeliest of sources, and that Dave managed to run into her office and delete the email.

Oh yeah, and once, I put 'kind Retards' instead of 'Kind Regards' on the end of an email by accident. Nobody could help me on that one.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 15:04, 7 replies)

Kind Retards
I did that (at least) once. Luckily it wasn't on an email to Brainwave, a very admirable charity our company supported one year.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 15:16, closed)

Names have been changed?
I seriously thought I was going to be escorted off the premises. Should I be clicking this?

PS. Spelling discount 'disocunt'.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 24 Sep 2009, 15:16, closed)

I'm still
ever so grateful that you managed to delete it, although you shouldn't have cocked up in the first place, you cunt.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 15:17, closed)

You shouldn't...
...have even thunk the thought about her into your head. Have you seen the state of her recently you hideous bell-end?
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 24 Sep 2009, 15:19, closed)

I've sent
"Manly Thanks" rather than "Many Thanks" on e-mails numerous times - god knows what people must think I mean...
(Cow_Tipping_Samurai, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 15:47, closed)

I've sent "Are you busty"?
To somebody who clearly was.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 16:10, closed)

Just don't!
Never send anything through company email which may offend anyone -- there is someone who can read it if they wish, and grant others the permisson(I am one of those who can).
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 19:09, closed)