very very old pukey lego
My (ex)mother in law gave my children all the lego her kids used to play with. There was a lot of it and it was about 20 years old at the time. At some point during my ex's childhood, her brother had puked into the lego box and it had never been cleaned very thoroughly and therefore still smelled of stale vomit. I spent an age cleaning it all, using a toothbrush to get all the little chunks out. I was outraged when I recently heard the ex had offloaded it all to a charity shop recently. Then I remembered that it's around 30 years old now, mostly broken (lego robot wars games are lots of fun but not so good for the lego), It's perished and brittle and probably still smells very faintly of very old vomit.

PS what the hell is with merkins calling it legos?
(teasus likes tea, Thu 10 May 2012, 12:48, 2 replies)

I have a collection of homonyms.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 9 May 2012, 22:17, 5 replies)

Hordeing Lego.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 9 May 2012, 19:24, 6 replies)

Hey fatty.
Let's just say I have more 'junk in my trunk' than I really ought to.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Wed 9 May 2012, 17:42, Reply)

Domain Names
I have over 80* active domain names... I tend to buy them on a whim.. hoping for the next big moneymaker!

I really really must stop buying them!

Really.

(I suppose I could just monetize them all and just sit and wait for the cheques)

*and have let about 40 lapse in the last 2 years
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Wed 9 May 2012, 16:49, 9 replies)

TEETH
The previous post about a hoarding gran has just reminded me. My nan had been hoarding her first pair of 1940's false teeth right next to her passport in a secret drawer to the welsh dresser. I found this out in the mid 90's when searching for her passport, which amusingly links to a previous post about my nan (who flew to Germany and back on her bus pass - Little Victories). I can confirm that 50yr false teeth "lose their colour"
(Mean Mad Mutski, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:34, 1 reply)

My nan
Due to circumstances that would make a fine BBC Sunday evening costume drama, my familly on my mothers side went from exceptionally rich to exceptionally poor and back to fairly well off (like I remember my grandparents having a butler, fairly well off).

Because of the "exceptionally poor" period of her life, my grandmother would never throw anything away and therefore had a massive collection of Readers Digests, old kettles, old toasters, vintage clothing, incomplete dinner services and the like.

After my grandad died, she slowly lost her marbles until the time came when she had to go into a care home. When we were sorting out a bit of furniture for her to take with her to her new home, we discovered she was good at hording something else.

Money.

Since she didn't trust banks, she drew her pensions (one state, one decent private and one decent private widow's one) in cash. She was eating at my parents' house most nights and didn't really spend a lot on anything else. In the bureau in her drwaing room, we found a couple of drawers stuffed full of £20 notes.

My mother, my aunt and I sat down and counted it all. Turned out there was about £12,000 there which, as it turns out, makes a thoroughly unimpressive stack of notes.
(ScousersPet, Wed 9 May 2012, 15:02, 1 reply)

Conkers
at what point did it go from finding-and-playing conkers to collecting-and-doing-nothing-with conkers?

My son found a really hard conker in his pocket from last year, it was shrivelled like a prune, hard as a diamond. I straight away thought, that would defo be a 10'er, or a 15'er. Asked my son if he had ever played conkers, he said no.

:(

sad times.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:53, 16 replies)

Parents keep the weirdest things
School books and toys are fine, but I think a line has to be drawn under the hoarding of small tufts of hair that my bro used to twist out of his scalp, roll up into a ball and stuff up his nostril.

Why?

Just why?
(Mean Mad Mutski, Wed 9 May 2012, 14:43, 4 replies)

Flat pack furniture
A friend of mine bought a flat pack chest of drawers but didn't have to werewithal to assemble it. The unopened packaging was consigned to his attic and then he moved house TWICE taking the box with him.

When I helped him move recently I saw the box in question I offered to assemble it, having knowledge of the subject having been an author/illustrator of flatpack furniture instruction leaflets in a previous life.

After I'd assembled the chest of drawers in about 20 easy minutes my mate thank me profusely then added that he'd had the unit for about 11 years.
(Barnetboy, Wed 9 May 2012, 13:45, 2 replies)

Does severe constipation
count as hoarding your own shit?
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:49, 2 replies)

Teeth
I twigged fairly early on that there was no such thing as the tooth-fairy: in fact, it was with the loss of my second tooth. What gave it away was the fact that said sprite had left me a note alongside the 20p piece under my pillow; and even at that young age, I instantly recognied the suspicious similarity between the tooth-fairy's handwriting, and my mother's.

This left one little mystery: what did my parents do with all those teeth?

It turns out that they kept them. Searching for something somewhere at my parents' house a few years ago, I found a plastic film canister. It rattled. It contained teeth. What was missing was any indication of whether they were my teeth, or my brother's, or a combination of the two. Given that my Dad was into his fifties before he lost his final milk tooth, one of them could have been his, for all I know.

I asked my mum why she'd kept them. She gave the sort of shrug that was best interpreted as "Don't ask silly questions", with a subtext of "Buggered if I know".

There's another little detail. There weren't enough in that canister to account for even one person's mouth - which suggests that, somewhere, there's another container with more teeth in it.

I don't even want to think about what happened when I had my adenoids out in 1981.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 9 May 2012, 11:09, 11 replies)

I've started hoarding Lego
I've bought a couple of Lego sets over the last month or so as Christmas presents for mini TitanLX. He's 9 months old. I'm going to buy other sets when I see them on offer over the coming years till he's old enough to enjoy them. As long as he actually likes lego this should be a good plan.
(TitanLX, Wed 9 May 2012, 10:09, 8 replies)

Her way of teaching good reading habits
Shortly before my aunt passed on, she developed a new hoarding tendency. First, she obtained numerous magazine subscriptions on all kinds of subjects - surfing, wrestling, woodworking, macrame, autos, bikini babes, puzzles, religious outreach - and carefully hid stock certificates in a random selection of them. When the inevitable happened, and the family came to clean out the apartment, they were first compelled to go on a treasure hunt through each of the magazines first. I guess it was my aunt's way of fighting that damned TV.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Wed 9 May 2012, 2:46, Reply)

Everything that I own...
Since I split up with the soon-to-be-ex MrsMnG, I've been living with Mum and Dad. It was a fairly amicable, if one-sided, split, so I came away with my clothes, my books, CDs and DVDs, and my dying laptop. Oh, and a chest of drawers for my clothes. And a plastic crate full of tangled computer/AV leads. How can you be geeky without a plastic crate of tangled, possibly obsolescent leads?

These went in the attic, while I sorted myself out with some shelves and stuff. They're still there, apart from the DVDs. Beer, diesel for the Magnet*, Travelodge rooms for visiting the new MsMnG and presents for the little MissMnGs all seem to take priority over flat-pack cuboids, for some reason.

* My Ford Fusion**, so called because the last 3 letters are FNE.
** The car for the man with nothing to compensate for. Um.

Length? Too many people know about length, in my opinion...
(marknotgeorge is not worried. It's my natural expression., Tue 8 May 2012, 22:20, 3 replies)

Out of control...
First post wooo etc :)
I have an unhealthy obsession with obsolete technology (i'm an electronics engineer by day). So far I have filled my cellar and spare bedroom with, to be honest, junk. Nearly every games console since time began (multiples of each plus software, leads, controllers etc etc).
Arcade machines and game boards (yes, the real full size 10p eaters from the 80s). Old video equipment (Sony F1 anyone?) Test equipment, 90% of which will never get used.
And if there's a repair that's not worth doing said item gets stripped and the parts put away. Another problem is I frequent car boot sales so that Xbox or Gamecube for a couple of quid is worth it in case the laser fails on one of my other 10-20. I need help!
(Outrun Is it the weekend yet?, Tue 8 May 2012, 21:01, 5 replies)

A USE FOR OLD LAPTOPS
I posted this in the comments section of another post, but it's worth mentioning.

HDD shagged? DVD/CD player broken? A set of these and some screwdrivers (or maybe just a big hammer) will get you some NdFeB magnets. Those things will stick to anything metal so firmly that removing them will be akin in difficulty to pulling a black man off your mother-in-law. Kids love them, and they're fantastic for making huge, comedy fridge magnets. Watch out for your fingers though - these magnets can spring out of your hands unless you've got a proper grip on them.
( MatJ LOOK, Tue 8 May 2012, 17:37, 3 replies)

I am horrible at this and blame my British heritage and the fact that both parents lived through the Depression
I have inherited my parent's mantra of "well, we might need it some day." I gather twine, old rope, old shoelaces and funnily enough, use them often. I keep old planting pots because I may need to transplant something.

I have wires and cables and out of date connectors because I don't want to buy more if I need them, and at least I can use them to tie something up if needed (see above). I've noticed old guitar cables are great for tying up branches of trees I've pruned.

I also keep old ID cards and driver's licenses from years past as well as business cards from jobs I've long since left. Those are used as bookmarks, so that's something.

The sad thing is I have thing in boxes (old textbooks, class notes, lawbooks, etc.) I've moved across the United States several times certain that at some future time they will be of use to someone.

I really need to hire a dumpster.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Tue 8 May 2012, 17:02, 6 replies)

Dear Santa..
Dan dan dan's post below reminds me of something else I'm currently hoarding.

I'm rubbish at hiding anything at home, I'm either so stupid I forget where I put stuff OR it's in an obvious place and gets found. Hence, Christmas time comes around, my kids write their letters to Santa and in our House we put them infront of the fireplace and Santa 'collects' them via the chimney.

What actually happened the first time my oldest had written one was - we didn't know what to do with it - chuck it? keep it? There's no way we could throw it out, it's full of dreams, cutely worded bad spelling and memories. So I took it upon myself to stash it in my work manbag and hide it somewhere at work the next day!

I now have a box file at work on the shelf next to my desk stuffed full of 3 kids worth of letters and pictures for Santa from the past 8 years.
(TheManofScience, Tue 8 May 2012, 15:40, 6 replies)

My son
Year ago, i spent a few weeks working in Brighton. My son stayed with my parents, and when back home - I would try to explain to what was then a 3yr old, where I had been. So I brought back a few of the pebbles from the beach and some shells, so he could smell the seaside and feel the stones from the beach.

This must have triggered something in his little brain that (any) rocks were significant. For weeks and months afterwards I remember regularly walking past peoples houses and seing him putting stones he thought were pretty or significant into his pockets (pebble driveways were a nightmare) Each time we would get home we would have more stones in his pockets, none of them particularly pretty or interesting.

5 years later and Im cleaning out my car. I was jamming the hoover attachment down the side of his seat. I could count say 10 or 11 medium pebbles sucking up the tube into the hoover... then i went to open the boot and found several more as well as two branches, and a large block of flint.

I doubt he remembers he even picked them up.... But this isnt the hoarding bit...

Ive kept them all..

Because one of them may be significant to him.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Tue 8 May 2012, 14:59, 16 replies)