Locust Zombie Apocalypse.
A looooooooooong time ago I was a school lab tech.
Part of the job involved 'eauthanising' locusts for the 6th form to do their dissection work on as part of their A levels. This basically meant getting one locust for each kid, plus a few spares, chucking them in a fume cabinet, bunging in a cotton wad soaked in chloroform and leaving it for a couple of hours. Nice and easy.
Except that one time the chloroform we had was well past it's best before date. "No problem" said my boss "We'll just use twice the amount, give it an extra hour and it'll be fine."
"Fair enough" I said and got on with the job of being an insect Rudolf Hoess.
Three hours later the locusts had all been 'Evacuated to The East'. It was another couple of hours before they were needed, so I just left them in the fumes cabinet until about 10 minutes before the class came in, then I took them out and laid them out one to a dissecting board. As I was doing this I felt one of them twitch in my hand. A swift rotation of it's head cured that and I carried on and then left to go prep my next lab, leaving my boss and the biology teacher to take charge.
About fifteen minutes later I got a panicked call asking me to return to the biology lab. As the students had started their dissections nearly all of the locusts had spontaneously ressurected to much screaming and panic.
So yeah, if you're ever bitten by a zombie locust that was my fault, sorry.
I'm not EVER going to tell you about my time as a gravedigger though.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 11 Aug 2012, 8:05, 4 replies)

"evacuated to the east"

Top work.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sat 11 Aug 2012, 8:19, closed)

"got on with the job of being an insect Rudolf Hoess" had me cackling in the office too.
( Pig Bodine., Sat 11 Aug 2012, 11:31, closed)

Haha! My school lab tech used to do thing ike that, he was always good for supplying us with excessive amounts of magnesium ribbon though.
How does chloroform actually work? I have always wondered that.
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Sun 12 Aug 2012, 11:46, closed)

In mammals it fucks up the nervous system, which is why it was used as an anaesthetic.
In insects it shuts down the spiracles so they suffocate.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 12 Aug 2012, 14:04, closed)

Ha,
Top work.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 12 Aug 2012, 15:50, closed)