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This is a question Apparently I'm a sex offender

I was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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Packet of Sweets, a Cheeky Smile.....
Holiday camp, Weymouth, 1999. Was one week of the year I could shake off that nerdy image and try and act cool. The cool place to go on camp was an arcade/bar/bowling alley at one end, it was there, in front of "House of the Dead", I met Jenny.

She was gorgeous, immaculately done up, with a pair of breasts that sit there, that enchanced, but not overbore her svelt frame. She spoke with a soft accent and had a smile that lit up the room. She was a gorgeous brunette.

We got chatting over the course of the week, and found out a shit load about her. The last night, she wanted to get drunk, so - with my beard and deep voice that pushed me through puberty at a young age - I got drinks for her. She promised to pay me back later. At around 11, she grabbed my hand, and took me up the hill. It was there, she grabbed my hands and placed them on her breasts.

"I can't go any further, but thank you Rhys" she whispered, as she dropped the straps on her top and undid her bra, leaving her effectively topless. Imagine that scene from Forrest Gump where Jenny shows Forrest her breasts first time. It was like that....

All was going swimmingly even though I had the touch of a rapist until lights switched on. Me, scared beard and all, grabbed hard onto Jenny's right nipple. Causing her to scream. Three big men ran out towards me and pulled me off her, hitting me and calling me a pedophile. One was her dad saying "She's 15 you dirty nonce! People like you disgust me! I bet you drugged her too!". Jenny, crying her eyes out and still topless was dragged back to her caravan by one of the men. I was taken into the main chalet for questioning.

I'd like to point out that I was 14 at the time, luckily I had my park pass with my date of birth on it to prove it.

Was let out by the men in the end saying "boys will be boys", and the rather more disturbing "hell, if you wouldn't of I would of*". I don't know what happened to Jenny, but if you are currently knobbing a girl called Jenny in Leicester, with gravity defying boobs remember this - I was there first.

Apologies for length, girth, and god knows what else.

* Yes, this is what he said /talk board, My grammatical abilities may be shit, but I know what he said
(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 23:50, Reply)

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