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This is a question Apparently I'm a sex offender

I was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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No Funny Story This Week

I used to work in a bar when I was at college and one night, two detectives came in and asked to speak to me. They took me in the snug and then started asking questions about where I'd been that night around 7pm. Well I started work at 7 so I told them that and when I left the house, where I walked and exactly how long it took me to get to work. They checked my story with the landlord and asked me to come to the station when convenient to sign a statement and then they left.

I still didn't have a clue what I was supposed to have done but, as the night went on, the jungle drums informed us that a woman had been raped in a graveyard near my home. The very graveyard that I walked past every night on my way to work.

As Plod had been in to see me, some locals put 2 and 2 together and made 5, and I was getting a lot of snide comments. It was not a nice night. Eventually the landlord told me to knock off early for the night and gave me a lift home.

The next day the whole story broke. A woman who I knew, not well, but I knew her, had been raped in the graveyard at just after 7pm. She was positive about the time as the church bells were striking when her attacker grabbed her and dragged her into the graveyard. At 7pm I had already arrived at work so that let me out. Also, to my intense relief, Plod had lifted and charged another bloke with rape and the woman had positively identified her attacker.

I think that 24 hours is probably amongst the worst in my life - and hers.

So no funny punchline. Even I don't find rape a laughing matter.

(, Fri 18 Aug 2006, 13:31, closed)

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