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This is a question I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again

My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.

(, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
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Like most men, I spend a lot of time wondering whether a transscrotal piercing would suit me.
Naturally enough, I thought I'd try to recreate the look with the help of some neodymium magnets.
It looked alright, in a bolt-through-your-knackers kind of way, but quickly began to ache as the unrelenting pressure of the startlingly strong magnets continued to crush my nutsack.
After some unfocused and unsuccessful gouging as I tried to get some leverage with fingernails, it occurred to me to try using pliers to remove the magnets.
I waddled and winced my way round the house, managing to locate one set of pliers and one rusty old monkey wrench.
The pain was becoming quite worrying and between dizzy spells, I found myself wondering quite what I'd say if I ended up having to go to casualty.
After a couple of attempts where I managed to grip some skin along with rare earth metal, I finally got a good hold with the monkey wrench.
By now, there was a fair bit of blood so getting a decent grip on the other magnet with the pliers was far from easy but I did it and finally managed to extricate my pods.
The bleeding stopped within minutes and the swelling was almost gone after two or three days.
So if you’re ever wondering whether this piercing would suit you, now you know how to find out.
(, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 21:41, Reply)

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