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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

* No isms - keep this light
* Non jokes will be deleted and users temp banned
* No nicked jokes - write one!

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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A load of dogs have just escaped from the police station.
Luckily the police are currently out there chasing many leads.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:33, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
The police station was being attacked by flies.
They had to call in the swat team!
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:33, Reply)
I made a musical cake.
It was a gateau blaster!
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:32, Reply)
I say
My wife went to the capital city of Indonesia.

Jakarta?

No. She went by plane.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:32, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
When I went camping, I kept getting electric shocks.
It was a static caravan.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:32, Reply)
I am going to give my piano to charity.
I will be an organ donor.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:31, Reply)
How many drinks can a Prussian knight drink?
Two tonics.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:19, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
My wife reads a lot of early twentieth century literature examining class and hipocracy.
- Forster?

- no need, she loves them.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:17, Reply)
Every new computer I get seems to come installed with a very posh AI with no name. I hate it.
I called support, but they told me to try Turing a Toff anon again.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:17, Reply)
What do you call a skateboarding former UN Secretary General?
Boutros Boutros Gnarly!
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:14, Reply)
Which wrestler is most like a young horse?
Mick Foaly.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:08, Reply)
How can you tell if the bin needs emptying?
Bin stinks (instincts)
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:05, 2 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
...
For years I've been using the phrase "Kruger-Dunning effect", which just goes to show.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:04, Reply)
What do you do if you see a zebra vomiting?
Look both ways to make sure traffic has stopped and then vomit at your leisure.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:59, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
Which video game member of the eulipotyphlan family Erinaceidae had a number one in 1998 with It Feels So Good?
Sonique The Hedgehog.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:57, Reply)
What's #000000 and #FFFFFF and #FF0000 all over?
A newspaper dot com
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:56, Reply)
What four legged animal helps pollenation?
Most of a bee.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:49, 3 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
What smells of piss and doesn't work?
The House of Lords
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:45, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
What's the difference between USA and USB?
One has a white lead and never seems to be the correct way round, the other is is an industry standard that was developed to define cables, connectors and protocols for connection, communication, and power supply between personal computers and their peripheral devices.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:38, 2 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
Some people think I'm a homophobe
but it only sounds that way.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:37, 3 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
I went to an aquarium and there was a fish singing Dean Martin songs.
I asked one of the staff, "What's that fish singing?"
He replied, "That's a Moray".
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:36, Reply)
What do you call an arachnid wearing white gloves and shouting, "r u on 1 matey?"
A house spider.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:35, Reply)
Why did the Shetland Pony keep his mouth shut?
He was a little hoarse.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:34, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
Why did Ken Livingstone cross the road?
Hitler.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:31, Reply)
Why did the pope cross the road?
To bless it.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:29, Reply)
I just bought 2000 slices of spam in batter
I'm just frittering away my money.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:28, Reply)
What's the best place to buy a toaster?
A pop up shop.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:26, Reply)
Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock.
Who's there?
A spider with an erection.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:20, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

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