Squashing a turd means everyone gets shitty.
Up till spring I helped run a little .org which did charitable work for people down on their luck. We also had a talkboard where you could grizzle about the job, swap tips and tell lies.
There was a guy who ran a similar board, rather laxer on the racism and UKIP/BNP/EDL bollocks, and who HATED us for a) being slightly busier and b) having a trustee who'd shown him up for being a liar.
Two years ago he decided to shut us down by writing to our commercial sponsors (and the Trustee's employer) and telling them we'd been cooking the books. He announced that he was doing this after Christmas, so that he could enjoy our fear and trembling over the turkey.
I fired off a Letter Before Action, got no joy and went down the County Court and applied for an injunction. We announced this on the board and two interesting things happened: our regulars piled in with support and the page count went through the roof.
Then I get a phone call, apparently from Plod inquiring about criminal defamation (no such offence). After 30 seconds I told not-Plod to either fuck off or come round with a mate. 40 minutes later I get a phone call from the bloke's landline, apparently from his solicitor. He's doing me for libel, false accounting, threatening behaviour. He impersonated a copper to get my attention. The solicitor is funding his case (yeah, right). He gives me a REAL legal practice name, but a false solicitor name, which I find out in real time from the Law Society while he's talking.
Ring the practice, tell 'em the tale, we have a bloody good laugh.
Get him into court, don't get the injunction but he admits impersonating Plod, the solicitor and botting the board to make the libel more widely published. Get him outside and tell him that he really should have spotted the microphones.
"In two weeks, the transcript will be with your advertisers. Have a nice Christmas".

Short version: cunt threatens mates, gets fucked by someone who doesn't like bullies.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 22:08, 12 replies)

Cor.
I bet chicks love your fascinating tales of legal shenanigans.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 22:12, closed)

What?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Nov 2012, 22:52, closed)

And then your supermodel girlfriend picked you up
in your Accord, and you drove off into the sunset, snorting coke off her tits and very much enjoying the last laugh?
Bonus points if you swung the car around, and performed a drive-by decapitation (using the razor-sharp samurai blade that you keep on the back seat, for just such an emergency), to a rousing chorus of applause from the nearby coppers, who thoughtfully disposed of the corpse (in the nearest skip, natch) on your behalf.

No? What a crushing disappointment. Anyone would think that your story is true!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 23:19, closed)

Mummy! Mummy! A naughty man is being rude to me on the internet!
"Calm down dear, I've told you before they're not real".
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 22 Nov 2012, 23:36, closed)

I'm hiding in your mum's cupboard.
I'll show her.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 0:58, closed)

cupboard drawers
( Ghoti Fingers, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 8:32, closed)

hiding in sniffing
(username failed moderation, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:27, closed)

I do enjoy a fake threat from a fake solicitor
Had one the other month from somebody's "Legal Dept"

I actually phoned up the only solicitor in the country with the name given and we had a nice chat about it not being her as she worked for the CPS.

You can always tell - they threaten to do something rather than actually doing it.
( chthonic, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 10:07, closed)

Steady on
with the UKIP-racism-EDL conflation thing. Believing that Britain might be better off not in a political union with our neighbours is a long, LONG way from discriminating against other races, FFS.

Tsk.
(Hurple Pelmet, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:55, closed)

i read that as political unicorn

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 14:57, closed)

Who cares, they're all knuckle-dragging criminal types.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 24 Nov 2012, 22:27, closed)

Also, I'd love to see the look on UKIP's faces when Britain withdraws from the EU and the price of just about everything goes through the roof even more than usual, due to retailers and distributors suddenly being clobbered by shitloads of import duty.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 25 Nov 2012, 0:22, closed)