Not so much Pathological as stupid
My ex husband. Well, the truth be told (a phrase he couldn't quite get his head around) he lived in a parallel dimension to our own. A dimension where the wildly unrealistic, truly terrifying and frankly absurd scenarios happened all the time.

I liked to call it "The I-Lie Zone"

He lied about EVERYTHING. My personal top 3 favourites on the bullshit monitor are:

In at number 3 - As he fell through the front door at 3.00 in the morning, covered in vomit and with what can only be described as a cokebleed running from his not inconsiderable nostrils his opening statement was " Sorry, I had to finish a wall off and it took longer than I thought" (He was a plasterer - in more ways than one)

Number 2 - After a particularly heavy night, I overheard him and his best mate talking about the women they'd pulled that evening. When I confronted him about what I heard (Actually I opened the bathroom window and screamed "I CAN HEAR YOOU" out of it) he told me that he'd observed the bathroom light going on and "said it to wind you up babe, I knew you were listening" I was 6 months preganant at the time.

Number 1 - Ooh this is a doozy. He had an endearing habit of being late for everything, family parties, weddings, funerals, sex, you name it he'd show up late and drunk/coked out of his tits. He was late for my grandshires' funeral. His excuse/lie? "I was in a terrible car accident (car looked fine) I nearly died (He looked fine) I saw a woman burned to a crisp, she was running up and down the motorway, on fire, until she was hit by a car..It's been a terrible morning.." He's crying by now, so utterly convinced by his own lie. He forgot that the guy he was out drinking with that morning was my dad's mate. He told dad the truth 3 weeks later. The truth? Ex drank 3 whiskeys, went to toilet and came out quite "animated", then went upstairs with the landlady for an hour - hence missing the beginning of his wife's grandparent's funeral.

Ah well, it was all a long time ago. It turned out that in the end I was the liar - I promised to stay with him until death did us part.

Apologies for length - but fuck me the man lied like a rug.
( my_cat_has_no_shoes meh meh meh MEH MEH, Wed 5 Dec 2007, 19:05, 6 replies)

THE DELUDED.
Starring "My Cat Has No Shoes" Ex Husband as Bingo McTwattyBollocks, a man who goes too far

Nice story and by the sounds of it glad you give him the boot.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 5 Dec 2007, 19:53, closed)

What an arse
I hope you kneed him hard in the balls before leaving - and as a bloke, that's not something I say lightly.
(Pope Jamiroquai III, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 0:04, closed)

You should have strangled the bastard
then you wouldn't have been lying about the 'till death do us part' bit.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 8:27, closed)

wtf
why would anyone in their right mind stay with a loser like this?? surely you weren't *that* lonely?
(brotagaia, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 9:25, closed)

...
Why do I keep reading "upstairs with the landlady" as "upstairs with the laundry"?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 9:55, closed)

twunt
good he's out of your life, sounds like a loser
( zulu eh?, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 11:03, closed)