Lies I told on my CVI've not had to lie on my CV (resumé for all you 'merkins) for a while, but way back when I was a teenager and C was a cool programming language, I listed it as one of my skills.
My new boss was remarkably nice about me spending my first week's employment reading a "how to program in C" book.
(
chthonic, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 15:55)
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My Current CV is Fucking BullshitThis is what mine says at the end in my summary bit:
I am self-motivated, confident, honest and hard working. I enjoy being with other people and
find it easy to build working relationships quickly. As a result, I am good as working as a team
player or as an individual. I thrive on a challenge and obtain a great deal of satisfaction in
obtaining personal and professional goals. I am very ambitious and career orientated with a
positive and confident outlook on life.
Ok - Ill break that down for you.
I like playing on the internet on my own, I dont need help to surf B3TA and footy sites, as I speak to people on the internet, the geeks you will place me near have no interest to me and id rather stick pins in my bellend than socialise with them cunts.
However I will shag any female under 10 stone whose tits get to the door before she does.
My positive outlook is based on me shovelling copius amounts of ale down my throat and as much white powder up my beak as humanly possible, before crashing out and starting the day again.
Give me a job or ill skullfuck your mum you cunthorse.
(, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 16:52, Reply)
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