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This is a question Lies I told on my CV

I've not had to lie on my CV (resumé for all you 'merkins) for a while, but way back when I was a teenager and C was a cool programming language, I listed it as one of my skills.

My new boss was remarkably nice about me spending my first week's employment reading a "how to program in C" book.

(, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 15:55)
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Lully QOTW...
...'cos I love practicing the art of lies.

It started when I finished my GCSE's and had to write a personal statement to put in the folder to take to job interviews. The folder is long burnt now but I can remember including that I had won a young player of the year award at a prestigious tennis club.

Ive only been ever 'officially' sacked twice: once after six weeks honourable service at McDonalds (pity the fool) for giving away a Big Mac Meal to my mate, and secondly as a result of the eBay kerfuffle (see other qotw in profile). As you might imagine, I didnt want to be truthful about these unfortunate events so my McDonalds stint turned into a worker-in-six-weeks-turns-to-supervisor success story and t'other landed me a fat payout from an awfully drawn out and incredibly untrue employment tribunal.

My current highlights are volunteering for a cerebal palsy charity, fluent in French and a keen footballer. This roughly translates as I used to occasionally look after my mates kid who suffered from CP, Im half French but je serais foutu if I can speak the lingo properly and finally, I play fitbae down the park three times a summer.

And yes, the word socialising is a fantastic way of incorporating my appreciation of Columbias finest into formal tones.

Gawd bless CV's.
(, Thu 6 Jul 2006, 18:37, closed)

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