I've got...
A Long Vehicle sign off the back of a lorry.

Years ago I was walking home drunk from from pub and saw it lying by the side of the road.

So I took it home with me thinking it would be a cool thing to have!

I've still got it somewhere....
(bdgr can't think of anything witty to type here, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 22:46, Reply)

I was on Playdays
with Dave Benson Philips... I made sock puppets and got a signed Playdays annual. I also had lunch in the BBC canteen. At the tender age of 7 this was like winning the lottery!
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 22:36, Reply)

i've got an opened out cigarette carton
with the history of new wave and punk illegibly scribbled on it by the bass-player out of 'gorky's zygotic mynci' from a gig they did in hull many years ago
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 22:31, Reply)

i have a cheapo gas lighter
with kittens on, that i nicked off the set of shite children's film 'tooth'
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 22:29, Reply)

hmmm beer?
not that anyone has ever heard of the band drowning pool, but i have the old lead singers beer bottle. i got this thrown at me at a small concert in Portsmouth in may 2002, and decided it was worth taking home. he died in August 2002. i just think its a cool thing to have :)
(Wibbly Pig, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 21:20, Reply)

david
i have david dickinson's autograph. i met him in a seedy club in cardiff, and yes, he IS that orange in real life.
(mouse, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 21:05, Reply)

pointy sticks
A co-worker has a 700 year old samurai sword that some jap officer handed over to the yanks after his bit of the army surrendered to them in world war two.

Whenever the wind blows too hard he gets freaked out someones in his house to hurt his family and he grabs it and runs around the place brandishing it like that loon from pulp fiction.

Bloody texans.
(mousehats, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 21:02, Reply)

Also
I met the Chuckle Brothers in a theatre house in Llandudno, and Pete Postlewaite walking by the Welsh Bridge in Shrewsbury. I skavved an autograph on both occasions, because who knows, they could be better than a pension scheme in 50 years time... ;)
(knife_of_justice, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 20:45, Reply)

things
I own two jars with each a dead rat on formol. Its on the shelf above the fireplace.
(Ronny Ragtroll, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 20:42, Reply)

It's so sad
When I was about 10, our class had to write letters to celebrities asking them what their favourite books were. Everyone else was writing to Arnorld Schwarzenegger and Kevin Costner (You can tell what year it was just from those 2 names) with no hope in hell of a reply. Me trying to think of ones as low key as possible wrote to the two old ladies in One Foot In the Grave and the TEST CARD GIRL....

And yes, they all replied. And I still have the letters...... The most humiliating thing is, I was the only one to get a reply from anyone, and had to read them out to the class. People were coming up to me for weeks saying "I DON'T BELIEVE IT" and that I fancied the test card girl....

Also when I was 3 I went to see a panto starring Isla St Clair as the fairy godmother and got invited on stage. I still have the magic wand she gave me... It never worked! The bitch! :)
(knife_of_justice, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 20:41, Reply)

I still have
some vestiges of sanity, but you have to look damn hard to find them.
(G W Bush, The White House, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 20:15, Reply)

What can you do? What can you do? What can you do with a bat like that? What can you do?
I've got a Beat on the Brat baseball bat given to me by The Ramones after their first gig in England. It is very small, black and says Louisville Slugger on the other side, but the lettering is gradually wearing off so eventually nobody will believe me.
(sputnik1, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 18:30, Reply)

Not much, I know...
but I have an actual piece of the old section of the Sagrada Familia church in Barcelona. Climbing up the campanile in 1972, before they restarted building it, I found a triangular chunk of sandstone that had fallen off, and of course I pocketed it (as you do).

Possibly even touched by Antonio Gaudi...

EDIT: Re monkeyseemonkeydo's comment above: At least for the two of us who snagged bits of Gaudi, it was either stuff that had already fallen off, or was going to be tossed as it was being replaced.
(chazz, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 18:13, Reply)

Theft of ancient stuff
I have a peice of the colleseum in Rome. I crumbled it off in the summer from behind some railings. A real bugger to reach for someone so small as myself, but I got it anyway.
It's sitting on my CD player right now in all it's ancient purply-pink coloured stone glory.
( Brown cow, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 18:05, Reply)

METAL!
I've got a signed Saxon poster as my mate's mum's mate (honest!) is going out with the guitarist.

Another mate used to right for the Uni music rag, so got into loads of gigs free with a press pass, the jammy jammy twunt. He got me a setlist signed by Entombed, although I've lost that. Marvellous.

Same bloke got to interview Motorhead (personal heroes of mine, fave band etc etc) before a gig, and asked Lemmy to dedicate a song to me as it was my birthday. The bourbon- and amphetamine-addled old git got the name wrong and dedicated it to my mate who interviewed him.

fp.
(Peanut[UK], Tue 9 Nov 2004, 17:09, Reply)

So, so many things
From Leonardo DaVinci's house: A conker that fell from a great height onto my head as I was having my picture taken with my exchange student's family. Sadly I never got a copy of that pic, in which I'm looking stunned and bleeding.

From the Gulf War (Like, the original one): My dad's terms of engagement card which he was given with his weapon. It has the phonetic arabic for 'Stop or I'll shoot!' on it (Kif awo sa, utlig al nar, I believe), pictures of all the animals he found in his boots in the morning and a random cuddly camel.

From a Hundred Reasons gig on wednesday: Colin Doran's water bottle. There was still some in it which I would have drunk, had it not been Nestle. So i drunkenly poured it on my cactus. Lucky Horace, fed on the spit of rock stars. Also a random pick.

A B-reg Vauxhall Nova. I'm keeping it out of nostalgia, not because I can't afford anything better. Really...
(Acherusia, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 17:08, Reply)

Cats 2
I've got a signed cats programme. Shame that mine's signed from some unknown twunt, but he signed it 'old deutronomony' too
(Mogg Questioned her own sanity on, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 16:55, Reply)

Brick
Me and my mate Bointon going to see our mate Gerard in London. He is a city fan, so as a present we took him a Brick from Maine Road, which we acquired from a builder on the demolition site.

He tried to act cool and say 'Its a brick- thanks' like he didn't care.

I bet he sleeps next to it.
(dogger collymore, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 16:43, Reply)

Cats
Ok this didn't mean as much to me when I got it but I have new found affection for it since joining here.

When I was at school we were taken to see cats, starring Brian Blessed as Old Deuteronomy. At half time he was brought a pint of milk and he stayed on the stage to sign programs.

I have one of these except he signs it old deuteronomy and not with his name which is a shame. But getting a hug from Brian Blessed dressed up as a cat..... you cannot top that....ever.
( flurokitty 3, 2, 1 lets jam! (+.[___]·:·), Tue 9 Nov 2004, 16:36, Reply)

Don Dick
I used to have an autograph from boxing supremo Don King that he passed onto me after grabbing the phone off my then boyfriend who was working as his bodyguard and telling me to stop phoning. He basically bawled at me but i was pleased he felt guilty enough to write his name on a piece of card for me. In drunken desperation, i later used it for roach.
(FlashG, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 16:11, Reply)

RocKs
while on a recent trip to germany, a friend of mine viseted the old german town of Dresden. The same Dresden that we bombed to the ground in the second world war. thing is, they're using the rubble from the bombings to rebuild the town in some kind of crazy organised german redevelopment program. so while the tour guide was telling his group this...
he bent down...
...and nicked me some rubble!

i'm now the proud owner of a part of history.
kinda hoping that relegates the berlin wall sumissions! :P
(jonny27784, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 15:03, Reply)

I just threw out a piece of Formica
that was autographed by Sofie Formica.

I still own a can of Duff beer, released by the Tooheys people before the inevitable 'cease and desist' letter. I used to own a case of the stuff, but I drank some of it (yech!) and gave the rest away.
( Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 15:02, Reply)

A few autographs
that mother and I have on the mantelpiece:

Nigella Lawson
Andy Sirkis
Matt Lucas and David Walliams
Mark Lamarr
Mark Radcliffe and Lard
Boris Johnson (twice!)

(:
( <>Dog www.stevelaker.blog, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 14:39, Reply)

I have a little black dress...
...with Bill Clinton's spunk on it.
(Monica Lewinski, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 14:20, Reply)

Celluloid
I have some clips of 35mm film from the 'cutting room floor' of the original Star Trek. Gene Roddenberry used to sell them by mail order.

The clips are mostly from the beginning and end of takes (some have the clapper-board in). There's a few interesting clips, such as an extra standing in for evil Kirk in one of the split-screen shots from The Enemy Within.

Err, I'll get my anorak.
( Daz, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 14:14, Reply)

Fresh
I have a chair, just over there, which has some of Girls Aloud sweat and makeup flecks on it. it's two minutes old.

It was the blond one and the irish one.

















meh
( The Lurker Plenty One, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 13:39, Reply)

The infamous "Love Lane" signs
Back in the days of Uni (ahh, Aston! Sweet bride of my alcoholic youth!) there was a road on the way home called...

.. wait for it...

"Love Lane"

Now in my opinion that is just asking for it, and so The Mission became to nick all possible signs. One of them was welded onto a canal bridge and despite the best efforts of heavy duty drills and being held by the ankles by burly brothers it was going nowhere.

The others were attached far too flimsily: one of them was nowhere near the main road and so was in my bedroom within a day - but the other was on a main road opposite a pub (the Pot of Beer back then - then it was the Faculty and Firkin and I think it is the Gosta Green now)... and so I waited until a) it was really late at night b) pissing down with rain and c) I was pissed out of my gourd... so - the next evening then...

I proceeded to climb the 10 foot pole and I was shaking the sign free from it's attachments like a deranged gibbon on some serious uppers... when a panda car cruises past.... you could hear the thoughts coming from their beetle-brows...
"what's he doin'?"
"only nickin' a sign..."
"ok then - just leave it.. it ain't worth the bother!"

So they cruised past with me hanging from a 10 foot sign attemtpting an innocent grin!

Ah - happy days!
(chairman_of_the_peoples_democratic_republic_of_birmingham, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 13:39, Reply)

not that exciting but...
celebrity autographs that I have:

courtney pine (sax player)
su pollard (remember hi-de-hi?)
bobby robson (needs no introduction)
brian moore (tv sports guy - now deceased)

other miscellaneous crap:

1) A sheeps skull.
2) A trophy for winning a conker tournament when i was in cub scouts.
(littlerichardsmustache, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 13:26, Reply)

I wasn't going to say I had this but it seems appropriate now,,
When I was at University *sheds a tear in remembrance* I was proudly part of the tournament Paintball team. Doesn't sound like much until I say that we played in Germany, Portugal, France and Crystal Palace in London (we were even on TV!). We came 66 out of 72 in the novice division of the world cup and got the trophy for the second best Universtity team in the UK.
We were the first team in a few years to represent the University on an international level so we naturally won the highest sports award the Union could give us. We went to the ball and were given our certificate by a sports celeb. I got him to sign my certificate even though I had little idea of who he was.

I still have that certificate in my record of achievment, signed by Mr Emlyn Hughes.
May he rest in peace.

I have a photo of him shaking my hand somewhere,,
(syrtismajor is comfortably numb and has been worrying the populace since 1982, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 13:13, Reply)

Nazi shoes
An American friend of mine stationed in South Korea was in an underground shopping mall in Uijungbu, when he found a pair of bootleg converse shoes spraypainted camouflage with Nazi swastikas on them.

Korea is a weird place for Nazism, but they enjoy the fashion of it. When you talk about WW2, they have a lot more problems with Japan than Nazi Germany. For a while there were a few Third-Reich-themed bars, but the Israeli embassy petitioned to have them change their names. Still, you can find swastika accessories in most markets, and I'm not talking about the Buddhist swastika.

When my friend told me about the shoes, I sent him back there to buy them for me. I told him it didn't matter how much they cost, just to get them.

Good thing they were cheap, because they sure didn't fit. I managed to squeeze them on, but they're about four sizes too small.

Here's a picture of some Korean friends chasing me to the top of a basketball net.

www.indecline.net/korea/crazynazi/nazishoes.jpg

Anyway, I had them in my front door for the longest time until a pizza delivery man spotted them. I'll probably never wear them again unless I want a good way to commit suicide.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Tue 9 Nov 2004, 12:22, Reply)