My year 7 art teacher was a bit odd.
At the front of the room he kept this old record player which had supposedly been geared down, and he often used it to show a sculpture slowly turning so people could see it from all angles. One week he set us this bizarre homework: "Right class, next lesson I want you to bring in an unwanted item from home, and we'll make each one into a character for the animation module."

I searched all over the house for a worthless object and eventually settled on an ancient hair grooming tool belonging to my dad - over the years he'd gone bald so didn't have much use for it. Come the following lesson the teacher tipped out this massive box of accessories and parts that had been pulled off old toys, and we got stuck in. Most of the good pieces had gone by the time I got to the front of the queue, all the eyes and noses got swiped first. I had to settle with the ears from a Mister Potato Head and a miniature pair of plastic breasts, fuck knows what they were off. I guess that someone had taken a hacksaw to their Barbie.

After sticking this together it looked a bit odd, as the ears were bright pink, the breasts flesh colour and the comb beige, so I decided to give the Potato Head pieces a few coats of light brown poster paint so they didn't stand out as much. It looked pretty good afterwards (i.e. marginally less shit than other kids' works), and at the end the teacher collected the three best models from the class to show to everyone else on the turntable. This time however he must have put it on at the wrong speed and the models went whizzing round, too fast for anyone to see, before eventually flying off and hitting someone in the face. And that was my spun tan ears comb busty 'un.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 20:24, 6 replies)

I like this.
However, I'm still going to punch you in the knackers.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 21 Jan 2015, 21:06, closed)

I laughed more than the joke warranted.
(Anthony Burgess' Chocolate Orange, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 6:04, closed)

I applaud the effort
but the punchline just falls between the two stools of funny and groan-inducing for me.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:10, closed)

I'm going to analyse this for 3 hours before I decide if it's funny or not.
I'll get back to you later.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Thu 22 Jan 2015, 9:51, closed)

Tempting, but I'm going to resist doing a worse one.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 22 Jan 2015, 12:47, closed)

If by 'worse' you mean 'shitter and more laboured', I doubt it's possible.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Jan 2015, 18:37, closed)