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This is a question Near Death Experiences II

Freddie Woo says: I was once caught right in the middle of in an early morning high-speed 30-car pile-up on the M3, but emerged from the chaos in the only car not to have suffered a dent. My trousers told a different story, and learned that you *do* empty your bowels as Death's icy grip reaches out for you. Tell us about your audition for the Final Destination films.

Suggested by Just a Vagabond

(, Thu 15 May 2014, 12:55)
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My wife.
This weekend she cut her hand on bit of broken glass, I stopped her from bleeding to death by putting a plaster on the wound.

I'm not sure that it was near death, but you'd have fucking thought it with the way she was banging on about it for hours afterwards!
(, Mon 19 May 2014, 10:42, 8 replies)
shoulda put the plaster over her mouth
am I right, guys? fucken women, eh?
(, Mon 19 May 2014, 11:20, closed)
haha yeah and over her nose too

(, Mon 19 May 2014, 12:32, closed)
why do women have two nostrils?
because haha misogyny and domestic abuse
(, Mon 19 May 2014, 12:45, closed)
yeah, she probably felt the onset of tetanus

(, Mon 19 May 2014, 12:48, closed)


(, Mon 19 May 2014, 13:27, closed)
I wish she was that slim!

(, Mon 19 May 2014, 13:37, closed)
Didn't you have any staples or fishing line lying around?
Not even any superglue?
What sort of a man are you?
(, Mon 19 May 2014, 23:08, closed)
Hammers and Gaffa tape...
Obv.
(, Tue 20 May 2014, 10:30, closed)

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