Exmouth...
where the evenings would cause a heady mix of students, townies and Marines to descend upon the 37 pubs available to them before staggering to Sam's, the room masquerading as a nightclub.

The routine was usually the same. The students would arrive ridiculously early, already drunk having started on the snakebite and black around lunchtime. The Marines would follow, taking the piss out of the students and generally acting like cocks. Then the townies would stagger in and rountinely kick the arses of the Marines while the students melted away into the background.

One night was particularly fun. The dancefloor was a large rectangle with steps leading up from it on all sides; it was filled with performing mongs and exuberant twattery when suddenly a fight broke out in the corner. In true comedy style, this incited someone in the opposite corner to randomly throw a punch at the bloke next to him and suddenly the whole floor was at it. Girls and students climbed up and away, male townies and Marines climbed down to join in. And next to me was an immense bouncer who shouted something resembling a war cry and hurled himself into the middle. He disappeared, only to reappear minutes later with his shirt completely missing, except for the collar and the two cuffs still pristinely in position.

The fight continued until plod turned up, one of whom was Special PC Nigel Mansell (yes, really him) who seemed rather more keen on remaining outside (where he was reminded of the fact he was Nigel Mansell by everyone who left/was thrown from/was escorted away from the club).
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 12:07, 9 replies)

"Then the townies would stagger in and rountinely kick the arses of the Marines"
I really really doubt that
(Freddles, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 14:24, closed)

Surprising...
but true from what I saw. Might have been something to do with the fact that they were 'trainee' Marines, all young, who couldn't drink as efficiently as the townies.
( thealternativefact, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 15:25, closed)

true here too..
...the marines get in SERIOUS fucking trouble if they start fighting in town. They generally do anything to avoid a bundle - but when they do go off, they go off....
(inflateable, Mon 13 Apr 2009, 21:01, closed)

Nigel Mansell
is now a special PC? Google says no.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 0:47, closed)

If it's not on the internet
it must be wrong.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 13:55, closed)

he certainly was at some point
the pompous twat. I live not too far from his place.

My old man used to give talks to the Special Plods at one time, and on one particular occasion there was a big fuss because Mansell was going to be there (not a fuss by my old man, he always thought he was a bell-end) and the fucker never turned up.

on a more amusing note, a mate of mine worked at Mansell's golf course. Was carrying a massive load of boxes at one point and knocked the fat, moustachioed tosser to the ground and got fired for his trouble.

he then proceeded to key Mansell's car most grievously on the way out.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 14:40, closed)

Cheers V
I must clarify that it's quite some time ago that this happened.
*mourns youth*
( thealternativefact, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 16:32, closed)

Hilarious!
Top story. The bouncer details followed up with Nigel Mansell won it for me.
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 3:22, closed)

*click*
Mainly for "performing mongs and exuberant twattery". That pretty much sums up most clubs I've ever been to.
(cheez is feeling ergophobic, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 13:01, closed)