In Balham
There used to be a dodgy bar/club not far from the railway bridge on the way up Bedford Hill.

To this day, I still have no idea what it's real name was, but it had 'Cafe Fusion Bar' painted on the window.

It had a downstairs area that had a tiny tiny dance floor and stayed open until the early hours, two single occupant toilets and a few tatty sofas.

And it was without doubt, the druggiest place I have ever been. The queues for the toilets were never less than 10 long, people would be passing credit cards to the next person in the queue, lines were left on the toilet seats for whoever was next in the queue, didn't matter if you knew the person or not. Share and share alike seemed to be the unofficial motto.

And it was here that I had, without doubt, the most uncomfortable conversation I have ever had with a woman while we were monged off our faces in a corner.

I was sat, dribbling and chewing my teeth, looking for all the world like Leonardo DiCaprio in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape'.

Then I realised someone had sat next to me and was trying to talk to me.

I couldn't stand up to get away, but I didn't want to talk.

Still, she asked me my name, so I answered.

Then thought I better ask hers.

So I did.

Then we talked a bit. Or at least we had something approximating a conversation. I think.

Something in me must have thought we were getting on OK.

...You know what, I don't actually have a clue how to tell this story..so let me just say this:


You have never known shame until you have asked a paraplegic if she wanted to dance.

I swear, I was so off my face I didn't notice the wheelchair.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 14:30, 8 replies)

Hah!
Brilliant!
(TheManWhoWas SlightlyKnackered, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 15:38, closed)

A dodgy, druggy downstairs bar/club in South London with wheelchair access?
Hmm...
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 15:41, closed)

This is a good point
It could have happened somewhere else.

You've got me wondering now. I am sure that is where it was though.

I will get back to you when I have checked with the guys I was with.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 15:43, closed)

Yup
Spoke to my friend last night. Definitely the right place. I can only assume she had friends that helped with the stairs.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 11:17, closed)

We often take one of my friends who happens to be in a wheelchair to non wheelchair friendly places.
By that I don't mean the staff hate cripples, just that there is no access, unless the girl was in a robocop chair, as long as she had some friends with her, getting up and down stairs is a piece of piss.
On another note, stealing said mates wheel chair and using it to chat up birds is a bonus.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Tue 14 Apr 2009, 19:05, closed)

Great!
Now that's just ball-poundingly great! Cheers!
( SpankyHanky, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 16:39, closed)

You - off your face?
Nah, don't believe it.


;-)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 7:54, closed)

Mmmm, this I like, yes.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:58, closed)