Head Kicking Moment
"Ooooh, its so fucking windy me flutes whistlin'," said this incredibly lovely but foul mouthed friend of mine, Karen.

"Your what?" I ask.

"Me flute, you know, me vag."

Now, that had me raising my eyebrows. We finished smoking our fags and went back inside the club and found our lovely, amiable posse of charming mates, scholars and gentlemen to the last, sitting round trying to drink away the last semblance of responsibility and decorum.

Steve may have had his cock out by this stage.

I'm not sure how but the conversation got onto wanking. (I may have had something to do with this).

But apparently I took it too far when I declared to anyone within earshot that Karen did, in point of fact, "Gush when she cums and likes to fuck seventeen year old boys." Not that I'd know; well, she just looks like she might. Karen shot me the daggers. I knew I'd gone too far when she hinted:

"You've gone too fucking far, Spanky. You're in for it now."

And then the conversation changed and it was all forgotten about.

Later, my guard well and truly down, Karen asks me to accompany her to the bar. Its her round. Being a complete gentleman I agree to help her carry drinks back to our table if she buys me a double. She agrees. And away we go.

We get served, eventually, its busy as fuck. Loads of hard looking rugby types in tonight.

Karen pays, collects the tray of drinks, places it down on the counter and says:

"Here's your drink, Spanky," and chucks a double Bacardi and Coke in my face. Then she screams: "YOU'RE FUCKING MARRIED??? YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! AND YOU GAVE ME THE CLAP!!!"

Then Karen collects the tray of drinks and walks off scerenely, leaving me dripping wet surrounded by angry looking rugby muscle men who all suddenly looked like they want to fucking murder me.

You could say Karen got me back.

The cunt...
( SpankyHanky, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:34, 5 replies)

HeeHeeHee
classic!
(Milly One, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:36, closed)

Now thats excellent
mate. Love it!
(Lizard King, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:36, closed)

Brilliant
*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 15 Apr 2009, 14:38, closed)

Karen sounds great!
*clicks*
(Errin C, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 15:07, closed)

Sounds like you got
well and truly shown up there, SpankyHanky! *click*
(Grrrrr Tigers, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 16:07, closed)