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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, would you?
Discuss.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:41, 265 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Yes
Yes I would
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Me too.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:43, Reply)
Glad we've cleared that up.
Carry on.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:44, Reply)
They'll need a cream to clear it up afterwards

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:45, Reply)
Whipped?

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:49, Reply)
topical

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:49, Reply)
Does that have pineapples in it?

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:50, Reply)
they'll make your spunk taste nice

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:51, Reply)
I'm not sure I believe that

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Ask the glove

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I told you
we broke up. Thanks for bringing it up though, you know, it make me feel shit
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:54, Reply)
You must be gutted about that.
I heard you were mitten with it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Would I who?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:43, Reply)
No. 'Would I what?'

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:44, Reply)
Or when, for that matter.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:45, Reply)
oooh hello you
doubtless i've already done it. next?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:44, Reply)
would you buy me dinner first?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:44, Reply)
Well, it seems I'd need a six pack and a massive cock first...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:45, Reply)
You have a one track mind.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:46, Reply)
Are you really surprised by this?
Afternoon
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:48, Reply)
Afternoon.
Nah, not really ;)
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:49, Reply)
How are we?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:49, Reply)
We are feeling lazy.
You?
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:50, Reply)
We are struggling today, very very tired
How go the accident prone children?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Still accident prone.
Each day I ask him how his leg is and each day he tells me it's still broken. Git.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:19, Reply)
Hahaha
That's excellent. (The comment of course, not the broken leg)
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)
Serves him right
If he will play sports outside in the fresh air then he must take the consequences.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Go on then, yes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:45, Reply)
*Ticks box*

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:47, Reply)

T L
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:51, Reply)

box window
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:58, Reply)
They taste so good!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Lemon freshness!

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:01, Reply)
I prefer Mr Muscle
ZINGY
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)
White wine vinegar and newspaper.
Apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Well seeing as I'm here today and you're here today, and neither of us are here much anymore,
I'd say it's a sign that I should. Go on, yeah.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:47, Reply)
kill 77 people in the name of White Might?
possibly not.

Have MOAR curry for supper, then yes
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:47, Reply)
i already did

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:48, Reply)
I decided I couldn't be arsed.
Not this week, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:48, Reply)
NO NEED

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:50, Reply)
Exactly.
Plenty more who can be arsed, so may as well let them have a go.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:51, Reply)
Normally I would
but I'm really tired today, so I might give it a miss.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:50, Reply)
Yeah, I know the feeling
Next week, maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:59, Reply)
When I have a particularly shit night of broken sleep
I think of all my friends who get proper undisturbed sleep and I mentally shake my fist at them. You are one of the few to escape this fistshaking. I find comfort in the fact that you understand the pain and misery of sleeplessnessnessness.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)

fistshaking, etc.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:03, Reply)
May i please also be spared the fist shaking
a baby rattling cough as prevented decent sleep for weeks now
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)
yeah, okay, but weeks? Just weeks?
I've had 22 months of it. *sadtiredface*
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)
5 years............zzzzzzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)
I was an insomniac for years and years
but I had tablets for that. Tablets which I'm not allowed to give to a small child.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)
I just got used to it TBH

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Have you tried gin?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:12, Reply)
I have at least 3 before bedtime.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
You seriously need to sort that out.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)
Uhuh.
You know, one thing that's worse than my child not sleeping through? Other people thinking that I haven't tried to change it.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Haha
I should tell you a really smug tale about what definitely works.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)
I'm just waiting for him to get married. Then s/he can deal with it.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
A baseball bat.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Curse other people's children spreading illness to our healthy babies
Baby tangle was awake for most of Friday night, after I had been out to a beer festival and really should have been allowed to sleep.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Mine appears to have abated after 10 years
The last three weeks, I've slept so well. I have no idea what has changed
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Isn't your kid old enough to have packed that shit in now?
/mumsnet
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)
You'd think so,
but I have one that has never slept through.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Never?
What is wrong with it?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:09, Reply)
It doesn't sleep.
Some kids don't. They just don't. My sister in law didn't sleep through til she was 7. That's years, not months.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)
It's just too gosh darned cute
you have to pick it up every couple of hours and pinch it's little cheeks and give it a cuddle.

If you stand at one end of the room and shout "cuddle" it runs over to you for a cuddle. It's an awesome child.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)
An awesome child who woke up at 5am this morning demanding potatoes...

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
hahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)
She must learn that there are no potatoes.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Just being true to her roots.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
I do think it's some kind of cultural memory.
She was probably dreaming of a barren, windswept moor, with Enya warbling in the background, and a beshawled old lady weeping over the blighted crop.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:17, Reply)
*applauds*

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:42, Reply)
They are all a lot cuter when they are asleep.
Without exception.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Didn't the Mccanns think that too?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:19, Reply)
They took it to extreme lengths

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing right.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Yep.
I got a whole two and a half hours in a row last night! And Saturday night we were away staying at a Best Western, no less (no expense spared!) and the bastards set the fire alarm off at 3am. The siren went three times, the whole world ran out of their rooms and ran around like headless kittens on speed. I went back to sleep. Bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)
I think I would have killed them had I had the energy.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Your bastards?
Or just bastards in general?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)
My bastards were with granny
Being bastards to her. These were just bastards in general.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)
I found a physio
the one I used to go to left the place I used to go to. So I found there was one about 50 yards from my house instead.

I'm going to do this half marathon if it kills me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)
Oh yay.
It won't kill you, it'll make you stronger. Well, maybe not stronger. Maybe broken.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:09, Reply)
It's a lot cheapr than the other place too.
Only £40 a session compared to £75 for an initial consultation and £57 for follow ups.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Physio?
Or ladyboy?
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
followup happyendinglols

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)
And it was with a man.
From south africa.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)
I had that happen at a physio once
He was a Kiwi. Put me into positions that I'm usually naked or wearing heels for.
He had no shame. I had to think of England.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:25, Reply)

England PJM
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)

PJM tangerines.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Is that what you do?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)
I think he thinks of DiT. Or Gonz.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:32, Reply)
I think of chocolate.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:36, Reply)
You knew teh risks when you decided to spawn.
I have no sympathy.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)
I never decided to spawn, I just got knocked up by a midget at a b3ta bash

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Shit.
*cancels plans for Jeffstock*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
You should be scared.
I've cleaned my toilet and everything.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)
What?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
That's one of the portents.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Now I'm really scared.
Luckily, I'm particularly unfertile.
And frigid.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:28, Reply)
But the portents! They cannot be denied. You may end up having a kitten.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)
I shall give it to Roota
and have her raise it as her own.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
This is a good plan.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
why the devil not?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:54, Reply)
Already have done.
Twice.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:57, Reply)
when i reply to a thread i expect to be acknowledged
its just one of the little things that i like to see asa nod of appreciation for the effort it took to process the OP, think of a reply and then type it

chickenlady is a cunt
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:58, Reply)
I acknowledge that you are an attention-seeking bellend.
And an oik.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:03, Reply)
thanks, i needed that

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)
oik
an underused expression in this day and age
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)

oik No, I wouldn't rather do you up the shitter
in this day and age round my gaff
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Fuck off would I. You must be fucking joking love.
Not after last time.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Did they give you a hard time?

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:00, Reply)
rubbing my face in it now i see
takes the piss, it really does
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:01, Reply)
I'd love to rub your face in some piss.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Does your arsehole still you like someone poked a finger finger through a raw burger?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:01, Reply)
WAHT

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:01, Reply)
You really should lay off them at lunch time you know ;)

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Lonnie Donegan’s X-rated etc etc

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Bedpost have splinters?

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:27, Reply)
Owwww.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:37, Reply)
LOL
www.sadanduseless.com/2012/04/texts-from-my-dog/
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:03, Reply)
lovely stuff!

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:17, Reply)
I think the more pertinent question is
Why wouldn't you?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)
I nearly did, I very nearly did.
Got all fired up, opened it up, all ready.
Then I had another think about it and couldn't really get that excited. I've done it before. This one wasn't particularly impressive; seemed a bit hackneyed really.

I'll wait until next week. I might feel more in the mood.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)
They're only going to be disappointing anyway.
Make the ungrateful little fuckers wait. It's not like they even care...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:09, Reply)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Tell them the cat ate their homework
and they have to write it all again.

Then laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
probably

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
you should click on my link above
i think at least one of them is from echo.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)
Do you honestly think there is anyone on teh internet
who *hasn't* seen that site yet?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)
*Puts hand up*

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Shhh.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:12, Reply)
me
i hadn't seen it. so you can... er... go fist yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)
I've seen the link before
but it looked suspiciously like some "my dog being cute" shit, so I have never bothered to click.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
It's not, at all.
It's bloody hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Me

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:26, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
Dunno, I've seen the state of your gussets on the washing line so probably not, unless I'm like really drunk lol

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)
What have my gussets got to do with it?

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Tina Turner's lessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss etc.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
A birds shitty skids put me right off

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Are there many situations
where you would see a bird's shitty skids *before* doing a turn?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:16, Reply)
Yeah, the fairytale reality when you end up round theirs and they've left their underwear on the floor and half arsed attempt at washing dried and stuck to the radiator

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:19, Reply)
hans christian andersen's lesser etc etc?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)
Goldilocks and the shitty skids.
A classic.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:22, Reply)
Yer, it ent nice
What's happened to womens domestic values eh EH
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
MEN
that's what happened to us. we start off all innocent and believing in prince charming. eventually we settle for some fat-faced twat and a life of penury.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:24, Reply)
+ and decide that wiping our arse properly is just wasted time and effort

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:25, Reply)
fuck that, it's a chore for the modern day woman to shit in a straight line

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:27, Reply)
b3th, the more I get to know you, the more I love you.

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:28, Reply)
You should.
I'm awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:28, Reply)
A bit of fucking tesco bleach at 45pence and some elbow grease that's what's needed

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:25, Reply)
First day back at uni. One assignment handed in and two back with ace marks.
Win. And no, I wouldn't.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:16, Reply)
You should pwn people more often with this intellect of yours Bob, just believe in yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)

I'm good at writing that's all. Are you Jeffstocking?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Yer, I'm arriving the latest by a week, so that makes me the coolest b4sher eva!

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:24, Reply)

oh you mong! that's not late, that's early for the next one!
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:25, Reply)
There is so much of himself to believe in that it takes up all of his time.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I just walked into a middle age woman and nearly knocked her over :(

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:19, Reply)

walked into wanked over
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:20, Reply)
I'm taking this as a compliment.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:22, Reply)
On entirely separate occasions I walked into and nearly killed under the wheels of a passing car
1) Don Letts
2) Malcolm Mclaren
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:27, Reply)
1) who is that?
2) shame.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Don Letts was the Clash's DJ, he's an original punk 'character'
and was also in the terminally shite Big Audio Dynamite. He's a nice guy.

It's as if my subconscious was telling me to wipe out pivotal figures from the early UK punk scene, or something. Two weeks later I arranged for Generation X's 'Billy Idol' to have a massive motorcycle accident in California. I'm like a punk Manchurian candidate.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)

If she just stopped in front of you then it's fair game.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:29, Reply)
In fact, if they just stop right in front of you
then you're perfectly within your rights to kick 'em in the kidneys.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:32, Reply)

You know Whsmiths at Cribbs? That's the worst place, never use that for an entrance as it takes 10 minutes to navigate the shop avoiding people.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)
I always use the entrance by John Lewis.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:34, Reply)

M&S for me.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Euphemism of the week.

'Sorry love, it's 'rag week', but you can still use 'the entrance by John Lewis' if you like?'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:40, Reply)
We were both leaving the toilets and walking in different directions.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:34, Reply)

awkward rape?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Did you shout at her and tell her she was a doddering spastic?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:36, Reply)
No I apologised and caught her,
to be honest I was walking fast, but not stupidly fast.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
she is going to sue the shit out of you

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:46, Reply)
I do hope both respective parties had washed their hands

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:41, Reply)
Chompy helpfully poured caustic soda on her to "clean her up"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:50, Reply)
Ohhh yooooouuuus in trooouuuuuuble. Oh NOES you di'nt just call her a middle aged women.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:06, Reply)
A little something I thought was a nice reaffirmation of decency in people.
Udinese captain Di Natale to take over care of Mario Morosini's severely disabled sister after his death
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:40, Reply)
Who? What? Why?
Eh?

I'd 'look after' his sister and she'd be 'severely disabled' afterwards, I can tell you.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:43, Reply)
A footballer that died last week had a disabled sister whom he looked after
His team has agreed to take over care of her.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:47, Reply)
man she is going to be so fucking sore

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:48, Reply)
^ The voice of experience

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
I love a good "mong roast" I do

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
YOU TOLD ME THAT WAS BEEF!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
yeah, curtains
It's not just their heads that grow big
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Right, so she used to be fine,
then this ghastly fellow (who sounds distinctly like some kind of fucking 'Donnie') and his repulsive sports colleagues had sex with her in some kind of tawdry hotel 'roasting romp', now she's a flidmo and one of these rapists is paying for a new cushion for her wheelchair?

Am I understanding this correctly?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Pretty much

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Not really, but that sounds far more interesting than the actual truth
"The former Italy Under-21 international is survived by his severely disabled older sister. His mother passed away when he was 15, his father died soon after and his disabled brother killed himself."
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Strong genes in that family, eh?
Spastics, suicidal spastics and one who plays a children's game for a living.

Good riddance.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)
I thought he played for Livorno, not Udinese?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Was on loan at Livorno

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
OIC

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Absolutely.
With a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Or I might just go home and have a nice cup of tea and a crumpet.

I love a bit of crumpet. *robinaskwithlols*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:45, Reply)
*cleans windows*

*confesses*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:47, Reply)
From 30 November 2011 - 14 January 2012, Robin is appearing at the Mill at Sonning, Reading, Berkshire in Ray Cooney's farce Funny Money.
*buys tickets*

I thought he was dead, tbh.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:51, Reply)
I *knew* we shouldn't have used Irish hitmen.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
*karate chops racist dwarf*

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
One of a tiny handful of 'films' I have enjoyed in recent years.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
It is fantastic

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Don't talk to fake me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)
Human League's less...etc, etc

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Oh God not again.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:04, Reply)
George Burns lesser known comedy sequel

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Yeah why not, I'm too chipper to say no to anything or anyone today.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:50, Reply)
Lend us £50.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Give us £50

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:53, Reply)
£50 - NOW.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:53, Reply)
Actually, make it £60.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
Here's £100.00.
Spend it wisely.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
hahazhahaazzah

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
Unlikely.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Have you heard of this american "Law of the Land Refund" thing? or something like that.
Someone at work says she's seen a handful of people do it successfully, where you get an american tax code and they give you back everything you've spent in the last 3 years (minus rent or something like that). It's based on some ancient american law. I call bullshit on it, but she's seen a few £20-30k cheques from the IRS. She hasn't spent anything to do it, aside a phone card to get a tax code from the states.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:19, Reply)
Never heard of that.
Sounds like a Jimmy Hill, if you ask me.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:24, Reply)
What's a Jimmy Hill?
Bullshit?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:26, Reply)
*chinny, chin chin*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:37, Reply)
Yes

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:46, Reply)
I donno, she's pretty convinced that in a few months she'll be getting a cheque for £30k.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:46, Reply)
When this actually happens, I'll be v interested to hear about it.
*doesn't hold breath*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:47, Reply)
Ditto
There is a study-group of them who go around studying the old american laws, exploiting what they can. I'm just waiting for the "Oh, final one last step, after 6 months of work, we have to pay £100 to some fella to get the blah blah made ligit".
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:49, Reply)
Lending someone on here fifty quid would probably be more sensible than anything else I'm going to spend money on today.
For it is free money day and I'm even richer than before, might buy a couple iPads to use as dinner trays.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:04, Reply)
We should speak in ten years when you are sytill paying off your student loan, all your clothes are threadbare and the ipads are actually only useful as trays

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:09, Reply)
I get grants that I don't have to pay back.
It really is free money day.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
why do you get grants? Are you some kind of genius or some kind of retard?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:15, Reply)
I'm regarded as being in a low income household on a technicality.
We get bare free money.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:17, Reply)
scrouging student bastard

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:26, Reply)
Yeah', but you have to sing to yourself Blink 182 songs every time you walk pass a goverment offical.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:47, Reply)
Give me £500 Quid please

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:07, Reply)
It deepends if you'll get all touchy-feely about it afterwards.
I can't be having hoes ringing me up bein' all up in my grill like "You made me orgazam for 12 solid hours straight and now no other man can compare ! I'll do anything for just one more night. You could teach my gynocologist a lesson on how to navigate my feminimity. Your soft lips encapsulating your tounge can whisper sweet nothings that will both haunt and pleasure me 'till the end of time. Even without touch, but with thought alone, my knees feel like they're about to give way, to buckle and tremble 'till I'm positioned to recieve a wave of luxoruy embeded into my very soul. " Nah' man, can't be havin' chicks be chattin' all shit up like that to me when I'm all up getting my like game on.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
I was actually asking if anyone was doing this week's qotw
tbh
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:47, Reply)
I'm a simple fella, so you need to speek to me in simple terms. You can't be subtal with the stupid, and they don't get sarcasam.
So, before I finish filling out this tux'n'limo rental service website, is there _any_ chance of third base?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:51, Reply)
Oh wow, I just suddenly got the "All your bases" meme.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:52, Reply)
Did you know The West Cornwall Pasty Company doesn't sell pasties in Cornwall

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Needs moar carrots.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Fuck you hippy
No letter for you
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Oh man you Caarnish sho' nuff can't take a Goddamn joke yo.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
humour hasn't made it that far yet

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:10, Reply)
They had humour mines
but they're all closed now.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
Fuck you, you fucking cunt,
There's a joke and then there's suggesting pasties need carrots, you utter sick fuck. You know they cut people like you's balls off in prison!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:10, Reply)
I do know that.
That's what gives those fucking pasties their 'unique' taste. That and the carrots, obv.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:11, Reply)
But how will you get your delicious pasties?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:10, Reply)
die

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
No real names on here pls.
Plus I didn't know AA was Welsh.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:15, Reply)
The signs are there
obesity, cretinism, body odor
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:17, Reply)
It's starting to make a lot of sense, actually.
New meme: AA is Welsh.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
but at least we can use hosepipes, still

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:58, Reply)
not that I'm actually welsh

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:00, Reply)
I just live here

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:00, Reply)
Yeah nice one Taffy.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
I bet he's balls deep in a ram right now

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:20, Reply)
You know what those fucking Welshies are like.
It's all steroids, poor quality hashish and bestiality in 'the vah-leees'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:21, Reply)
I want a pasty

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:27, Reply)
with or without carrots?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:29, Reply)
U2's........

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:30, Reply)
is this you're entire remit today?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:31, Reply)
People will be thinking I've suddenly become really shit.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:31, Reply)
It's your fault for not having an icon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:33, Reply)
LOOK AT THE FAHKIN COMMA!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:33, Reply)
I know to look out for it now.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:35, Reply)
with please
a proper peppery one
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:31, Reply)
I could eat one of them now

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:32, Reply)
not if I get there first

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:34, Reply)
For some reason I really don't like pasties.
I like all the ingredients, you know, carrots and that, but I just don't like them. More waki observations as I think of them.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:34, Reply)
latas potatas

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:41, Reply)
Shittest of the tapas dishes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:46, Reply)
or
"Tapas' little known follow up dish"
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 17:47, Reply)
Dan Le Sac vs Scroob.Pip live !!! OMG !!!!
www.ustream.tv/channel/dan-le-sac-vs-scroobius-pip-unfurled
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:03, Reply)

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