I have been real busy today
Stripping paint in my kitchen, filling some gaps in the plaster, clearing out one of my outhouses and preparing for next week's Paul Smith shoot.

I just have to apply another layer of filler, then sand the window frame down and I'll be ready to paint.

Hopefully won't ruin my nails.

What have you bumlords been up to today, and do you have a Paul Smith modelling gig to prepare for?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:17, 72 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

oh no! have they got you mixed up with that dude from Maroon 5?
Today I cleaned out my car so I can use it as a crime scene for forensics tomorrow, pondering whether to bother making fake blood
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:19, Reply)

or I could leave a note in there -
what could it say? I reckon it's probably from MOnty or something
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:24, Reply)

paint fi +e so gaps in the plaster, clea
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:21, Reply)

In case you were wondering.
I'm suggesting you've been stripping in your kitchen and feeling your ring.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:22, Reply)

Phew!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:22, Reply)

Yo, I am too cream crackered to work that out.
Please de-RIS for me.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:22, Reply)

it's a tricky one, but it counts

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:23, Reply)

Eaten brie all day.
Picked some stuff up from the tailors, took my laptop in for repair and bought the best t-shirt I've ever seen. I also bought two other shirts but they don't deserve similar praise.
The soundtrack to my day has been Dimitri From Paris edits, I love him beyond words.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:23, Reply)

If you like edits you should check out Soul Clap.
You will dig them.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:24, Reply)

Link us a pic of the t-shirt.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:24, Reply)

I can't I got it off a private forum.
It's APC, and it says 'Disco Rules' on it with a roller skate. It sounds shit but I love disco and I love APC.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:32, Reply)

In fact
soundcloud.com/soulclap
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:32, Reply)

I've been banging out some Storm Queen edits as well.
All sensational.
This has been my most played today tho soundcloud.com/frenchybear/sheila-b-devotion-your-love-is
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:56, Reply)

i don't think i understood a single word you've written
But I'm watching big rich texas. What is the obsession with reality shows?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:23, Reply)

They remind us that there are people more terrible than we
yet we are degraded down to their level by watching
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:28, Reply)

yes, i feel really normal compared to these people

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:30, Reply)

this girl is crying because she wants her stepmother to love her for who she is
While the stepmother is trying to convince her to get liposuction to lose 5-10lbs to win a pagent
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:29, Reply)

Damn
OFCOM and/or the FCC should make them use 'Holiday in Cambodia' as the soundtrack to this sort of thing
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:34, Reply)

this woman photoshopped the girls head onto a different body

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:43, Reply)

Do you watch Jeremy Kyle?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:29, Reply)

no
We have the show here though
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:31, Reply)

How do our lumpenprolateriat compare to your american ones?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:33, Reply)

do you really think i know what that means

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:34, Reply)

White trash

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:37, Reply)

Don't both.
It's shit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:33, Reply)

Bender does bendery things.
real men do stuff with hammers, mallets and saws.

Today I have broken a nail. This is shit.
This means I will have to cancel my upcoming Chanel modelling gig.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:37, Reply)

You are just like a shipping lane.
Always chocka with seamen.

Oh, wait. you said Chanel. Not channel.

Never mind, i've typed it now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:40, Reply)

YOU'RE full of seamen.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:48, Reply)

No. YOU ARE.
No returns.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:51, Reply)

benny

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:53, Reply)

deacon

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:59, Reply)

African Bum Cleaner

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:00, Reply)

you need a stand in hand model
I think dozer probably has ladylike hands
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:43, Reply)

I imagine he probably does.
I myself have old lady hands. Very dry and red. What they used to call 'dish pan hands'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:47, Reply)

I have long and dextrous fingers.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:48, Reply)

Me too.
Long and thin. Piano playing fingers. Just a shame I can't play the piano really.

I'm quite good on the organ though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:49, Reply)

huh huh

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:49, Reply)

I'm developing guitarist hands
left hand with short nails and tough skin and right hand with long scuffed nails. Also the right one is more muscular, but that's from the wanking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:49, Reply)

You should switch hands occasionally
You know, for the wanking at least.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:50, Reply)

i'll try, but it's tricky
and that much thought just kills it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:56, Reply)

Have a w... Oh.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:57, Reply)

This tune just came up on random on my media player
And it seems very apt for Barry.

youtu.be/LhkeTW-1pjA
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:44, Reply)

clicks

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:53, Reply)

Ive ordered gears 3

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:55, Reply)

Nice work.
Have you played the first two?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:57, Reply)

Dabbled with one.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:57, Reply)

Horde is great fun.
We can also play through the full campaign in co-op.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:04, Reply)

So your car is fucked and you are trying to make your BMX more efficient to ride....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 18:58, Reply)

You plank.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:00, Reply)

You tool.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:03, Reply)

how did I know that would be you before I scrolled down to the name...?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:01, Reply)

a pun?
an 80s reference?

it could only be one man
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:02, Reply)

Yup.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:02, Reply)

Who?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:03, Reply)

Because I'm brilliant.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:02, Reply)

Yes. Yes you are.
Brilliant.

ahem.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:03, Reply)

^INTERNET VALIDATION.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:05, Reply)

I feel dirty now.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:07, Reply)

Well make sure you have a bath before coming to Bristol.
We don't want stinkers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:10, Reply)

I think she can go to Bristol via Bath
but I think that's the long way
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:11, Reply)

It is.
But it's an idea.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:11, Reply)

I've been working for 'da man'.
It feels good, although I'm feeling a bit knackered as I got cock all sleep last night. And now I have to cook as the missus has had to go on a residential outward bounds thingy with the school at the last minute
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:07, Reply)

Thanks very much DG.
I've now got an Aerosmith earworm.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:10, Reply)

Sorry Jeff :(

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:13, Reply)

So was it your first day today?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:16, Reply)

Yup.
It went OK, the usual 'read this corporate stuff' and getting IT sorted out but I did get to do some actual work and the location is brilliant. I've got an excellent view of the Newcastle skyline, which is a step up from looking at a fucking car park for the last six years.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:18, Reply)

Can you see the fog as well?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:22, Reply)

It was a remarkably clear day, but yes, I can just see the Tyne.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:22, Reply)

You are near the pile of tinned meat products too!
Wow.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:26, Reply)

*groan*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:27, Reply)

the dig that stuff up from underground, you know
fog on the tyne is all mined, all mined
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:24, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 19:25, Reply)