Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's getting to the post-prandial snooze time.How do you kill a boring afternoon? Answers of "Your mum", will be discounted.
Alt, why do we bother? Really?
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:06, 232 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
BeerBeer is the answer here
Alt:
Better than working
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:07,
Reply)
You have used a big and clever wordThat is well kl
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
there was no need to delete battered, its ok you were righti'm sorry
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:34, Reply)
you deleted your reply to me, but it's ok because we'll be on the same side when it all kicks off(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:38, Reply)
stunned you're not on our team, sozwhen it all kicks off its me and battered against everyone, cos we're the two hardest people on off topic
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:50, Reply)
You certainly are a couple of peas in a pod. If you are to be paired like a couple of English centreforwards then you will have to be tall. Seeing as Battered is only wee.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:54, Reply)
yeah we willthe whole tide's turning against us, we'll be at a b45h, you'll say something inappropriate and i'll be like 'back off lads, he's only little'
monty will go to glass you, gonz will be swinging his tesco bag of shit like a mace and swipe will be tied up behind them, waiting to be released like a berserker
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:01, Reply)
I had had to click this. Much as I didn't want to. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:02,
Reply)
I'm looking up tips for outlook 2007 so I can make it even easier to spot the important emails(from my friends) and ignore the boring emails about work.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Can't you just set up rules so that emails from certain senders get diverted to certain folders?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
I wanted different coloured flagsbut I can't do that apparently, I have to do coloured catergories. GAY
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:19, Reply)
Sorry, never used itSkipped from 2003 to 2010. Set up rules to redirect emails into different folders, then add a shortcut to the folder of emails you want into Favourites?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:46,
Reply)
this afternoon i shall be dreading going to see 'the lucky one' tonight, so it will drag like an industrious whorealt cos, man
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:13, Reply)
Sadly. I have avoided the Honda Accord sories of drinking adventures this week.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:22, Reply)
there was a bird who shagged three men in one night and stole a bowling ball(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)
They were all very attractive though(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
i like to go for a walk in the national forest that has no cell service (
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:24,
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What if you get raped, or attacked by a bear, or you get pinned by a rock and don't have a knife to cut your arm off(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:27,
Reply)
I'm talking about the arm that's trapped here(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
it would be pretty difficult to cut off your good arm if your other arm is trapped(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)
she could be in shock and then'd start hacking off random bits of herselfI don't think she's a woodsman or anything, also if she just turned her phone off it'd be easier to go for a walk that she enjoys
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
i think arm hacking is the way to go thoughif she holds the knife in her mouth and just rubs her arm against it really hard it'll fall off eventually
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:37, Reply)
This is your first click from meassuming you are new
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
its probably more likely that i will get attacked by a shark in those woods than any of those things happening(
Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:34,
Reply)
could be a tree-sharkThey're migratory.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
They folllow the apple blossom south throughout the springbefore mating in the tropical forests of the Congo
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
yes duhNone of those things are going to happen
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
I think one of the managers here fancies me.This should have been mentioned in the colleagues thread. I'm running a little behind today.
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Kroney, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:25,
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whose behind is it?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:35,
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i am eating my fancy lunchof pumpkinseed and rapeseed oil flatbreads and spicy houmous. and contemplating which of the 100's of bloody emails in my inbox to tackle next. if the economy is doing well, i'm advising on vacant land clearance strategies, how to get out of restrictive covenants, that sort of thing. if the economy is shite, it's all debt recovery and insolvent strategies.
it's been woe for about the last 3 years. i really do think the whole economy could get off its arse to give me some variety.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:41,
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don't compliment himhis head will swell. and NOBODY wants to see that.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
because it's much better than anything you normally get(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
i don't understand what is going on at allcock snot is a compliment and better than wheat i normally get? i'm going home i've had enough of this
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:05, Reply)
careful I've heard the Handy Cross roundabout outside High Wycomb is moving slowly afterthere was an accident earlier
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
good idea, Yates has £2 a pint on during the day(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:10,
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i also have thai rice crackers, those dirty orange spicy ones you get in pubsa lentil and rice salad, the new non-fish sushi mini rice balls... i got a bit confused. i have put the sushi and the salad in the fridge for tomorrow*.
* = one of my colleagues/cleaners to steal, like we work in a student house rather than a massive city office :(
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
I'd ask the firm for my money back if food started going missing. Bastard lawyers.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 14:58, Reply)
i had a load of designer shampoos and conditioners go missing onceabout £150worth. eventually they caught one of the cleaners, but i never saw my money again.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Only if it is bumming a squirrel at the time(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
A stable job is a good thing(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
We've had a laptop nicked from a cabinet here in workBut the best bit is the company upstairs from us also got stuff nicked but they got the guy on the director's webcam doing it. The director had setup the webcam in his office as whenever he went out someone sneaked in and drew a massive cock on his whiteboard!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:11,
Reply)
It was one of those mobile whiteboards for meetings and the like.What he really means is that somebody kept nicking the castors off the bottom and leaving it on bricks. Northern, you see.
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Kroney, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
Did they get the whiteboard pregnant? Then it lived in a Council house forever after.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:24, Reply)
I love a happy ending. Edit: We had already established that. See above.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:25, Reply)
If you're in an office go on a wander and distract other peopleyou can call it networking or somesuch and you can meddle in someone else's work which is always far more interesting than dealing with your own.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:19, Reply)
This^Much better than instant messaging, email or the phone.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:22,
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A surprise shit is never a good thing(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
Better than being caught short. And having to steal a colleague's work apparel to wipe your underneath.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:25, Reply)
Sage wordsThose Simpsons ties are too shiny to get the ringpiece really clean
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:25,
Reply)
Reminds me of a rather unsavoury visit I once paid to an English country garden.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
* something about suffocating ants *(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
I have ripped a hole in the crotch of my jeans and am going out straight from work.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:26,
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No need.After my conduct at JeffStock they have remained wholly unused.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
Haha!I think we need more info on this
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
Let's open this up to the groupThe info, not your crotch
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
Page 17 of last Wednesday's Daily Mail. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
That was just the headlines(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
He made a tactical decision which, in hindsight, wasn't the bestfor his overall strategy of not sleeping in kennels.
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Kroney, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:37,
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But they have remained attachedwhich must have been pretty touch and go at one point.
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Kroney, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
Enough revision for one day, Ithink my brother is getting me a puppy for my birthday. What dogs are cool?
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:35, Reply)
Mine isn'tCavalier King Charles
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
Actually, ours is coolReally friendly and a bit daft
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
My grandma had them all the time I knew her. All white with liver spots before one pure liver one before she died. The liver one was fucking insane!
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
Ours appears to have AT written in white on his back(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
at least it's not cat or that would have been a right old mind fuck.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:58, Reply)
A mong would be cheaperand funnier.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
I think that's AIDS you're talking about.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:58,
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yeahabsolutely no effort to look after either.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:43,
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Having a dog in a student house seems like a sensible course of action(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:39,
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LiesHis mum isn't cool. She's hot!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:40,
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Way to go there, what with him being adopted and all(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
Cockapoo. Edit: Be careful if Google searching this particular breed.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:41, Reply)
Just don't ask Gonz. You'll have a never-ending stream of opium-based opinion. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
Sorry, what?Can you even look after yourself, mate?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
he's the immature prick with a nickname in his late thirtieswho plays hockey and teaches people to be mongs
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)
i like all dogs, dogs are greatmy girlfriend wants a chocolate lab, but they're dead common
i'd be happy with any dog
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I would be upset with any kind of terrier or Jack russell, I don't want a chavy dog like a staffy etc and I don't want a gay dog like a labradoodle. I am thinking collie or spaniel or something.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)
are they the blue looking ones? hang on I'll have a look. Plus I thought he played for Columbia.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)
collies require a fuckload of walking.Spaniel would be better unless you're happy walking 5 miles a day.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:13,
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Be fair, that could be almost anyone here.except for the hockey bit.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:53,
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He may be referring to all your posts detailing how you're not a fully functioning literate adult (
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:52,
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Yeah 'cause everything on the internet is verbatim innit Rory. It's true though, I've just shit myself.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
At least you aint Emvee, it's confessional time on qotw for himHis daddy don't love 'em :'(''''''''''''
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:57,
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Link please!I can't find it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
He used to tell the school councillor that Luke Skywalker was his dadhow sad is that
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:05,
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It's the run away winner this week, all clicks welcomewww.b3ta.com/questions/morningaftersouvenirs/post1604013#answers-post-1605633
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
I see James Hutchings has decided to get involved.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:11,
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Well, that was rather entertaining, Thank you.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
In repliesb3ta.com/questions/morningaftersouvenirs/post1604013
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
The rabbit in the pan is the best thing everwe can stop the internet now.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:12,
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Is this a new post from the boy?I can't see owt.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
i found it, rory is shitwww.b3ta.com/questions/morningaftersouvenirs/post1605504
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Nopeit was a rhetorical question. No need to take it personally.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
bees into what, now?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:40,
Reply)
A WestieAbsolutely brilliant.
If I'm sitting reading the paper, mine will grab the paper with her teeth and drag it out of my hands so that she can jump up onto my lap.
She also likes to bring me a present when I get in from work - a squeaky toy, the post, a shoe - anything that comes to hand.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I bet she likes nestling down in your cardigan and Farah slacks.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
I just watch episode after episode of The Shield.I've only got one and a half seasons left, genuinely worried about what I'm going to do once I'm finished.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
Open your eyes and drink the steaming mug of tea your mum left you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
This was a superior quip, I thought.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
I want to go out drinking now.Can I go now, please? I've done my homework and tidied my room.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:34,
Reply)
Well that's just great news.For you.
I can get to the pub for seven.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
Bell end. I had to weigh in on Mr Hutchings.
Told him Amazon gave me a quid to download his book.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Technically you said 'downlad' but it's the thought that counts.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:43,
Reply)
Giving the old home brew another spin tonight?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:41,
Reply)
Yes, she just doesn't know it yet.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:43,
Reply)
if i worked at EAT, i would undersale the carrot cake and at the end of the day i would scrape off all the topping......and have it in one big mouth ful. I can taste white chocolate in it too.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:47,
Reply)
If I worked at EAT, I would delete my account and kill myself.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:50,
Reply)
I would ask that you wait until after Chicken Pot Pie day. Then, do what you fucking like.
(, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)
oh my dayz, first offer at double and a half my current wage !!!! even with late starts and flexi time.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 2 May 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
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