Summer's turned up then, do you have a seasonal wardrobe? What items of clothing are you most looking forward to wearing?
Alt: I have already seen two chavs driving vans whilst topless today, what signs of summer have you noticed?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:18, 114 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

My summer wardrobe looks exactly like my winter one
t-shirts and shirts.

Alt:
Pissing down rain
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:19, Reply)

^this
"seasonal wardrobe" is just marketing - speak for "buy more pointless stuff you won't wear".

alt: Far too many people who really should cover up. With canvas. Or failing that 6 feet of good earth.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Indeed
In the winter, wear a big coat. In the summer, don't
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)

What is this 'summer' of which you speak?
It's still frickin' cold!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:20, Reply)

I have a hankie I can tie knots into.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Ah, the British working class at leisure.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 21 May 2012, 14:21, Reply)

+in the 60's

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)

In Ealing comedies.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 21 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)

Have you sorted your move yet?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)

I'm staying where I am now,
the housemates house move got cancelled and basically means we're sticking where we are.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Is this a good thing?
The new place was a lot cheaper, right?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)

I hadn't found a place, there were a lot cheaper but also shitter places but I hadn't seen one I liked , so it's a good thing

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Cool then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)

get the guy to sign a thing so he can't leave without adequate notice
otherwise he'll jsut fuck off again
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:27, Reply)

He's already got a contract with me
and he gave me 5 weeks notice, which is fair enough.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)

i'd want 2 months notcie and an early cancellation fee
but i'm awful shrewd
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Sandals, tasteless shorts, and even more tasteless Hawaiian shirts.
A Peter Stringfellow gstring set of trunks.
Alt, hay fever, and the sun. And they were blokes I hope.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 21 May 2012, 14:21, Reply)

I need to dig out my Hawaiian shirt
It is fucking awful
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:23, Reply)

you're not supposed to EAT them

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Or bury them under the patio.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 21 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)

I tend to change from t-shirts into shirts in summer, and I don't tend to wear jeans very much.
I'm looking forward to being able to chill in my garden with some cider, music and friends.

Alt alt: Convertibles with their roof down.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Yes, because jeans and a hoodie is too damn hot in the summer
I am looking forward to shorts, floaty dresses, Pimms, barbeques, the lot. I love summer; I love all the stereotypes. Except the one about a typical british summer consisting mainly of pouring rain.
(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:34, Reply)

floaty dresses FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:37, Reply)

Well if you've got the legs for them, sporto...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:42, Reply)

My legs are fucking beautiful, I'll have you know

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:44, Reply)

all four of them

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:49, Reply)

If you've got the udders, then show 'em off I say

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:51, Reply)

hehe....
floating slightly above the crotch.......
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:43, Reply)

my pervometer just went into overload
roll that tongue back up, lech
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:46, Reply)

*rolls*
where did you get the pervometer from?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:50, Reply)

i invented it, its just a piece of string tied around my genitals and up to my finger
if i feel my finger twitch i know someone's being pervy
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Shouldn't that be in the QOTW?
Idly I just visualised a phone app that would compare a picture of the subject with one of, say, a certain 70's popstar who invites people to join his gang, then gives a % match of the features. Over 70% would set off a loud "Perv Alert".
Just need to get some funding and.....$$$$$....?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:00, Reply)

GaddApp

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:02, Reply)

+Get on up
GaddApp-ah, Gadd on up

like a sex machine, man
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:05, Reply)

or
"FacePerv"
"Glitter"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:06, Reply)

I'll move from regular shirts to short-sleeved shirts and t-shirts
and may occasionally venture outdoors coatless.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:36, Reply)

alt: summer signs
youngest sprog pestering for paddling pool out in the garden.
Still, can sit with feet in it to keep cool, beer in hand, so has a use.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:39, Reply)

doesn't that leave your child with a faint gorgonzola aroma?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:11, Reply)

You wanna be careful about that; Gadd is a notorious turophile

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:12, Reply)

Speaking as a cricketer, I can confirm that summer is nowhere to be fucking seen
It pissed down all last week, so although the sun was out all weekend, the pitches were still unplayable due to the big fucking puddles everywhere.

I cannot declare summer to have officially arrived until we get an entire weekend of uninterrupted cricket.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 May 2012, 14:40, Reply)

have we won yet?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Yes, by 5 wickets

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 May 2012, 14:42, Reply)

woop!
Off to lords to watch Eng V RSA later in the year
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Excellent! SA will be a real test.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 May 2012, 14:48, Reply)

yeah i know....the last two years I've been it's rained and ruined it
I'll be happy with a half decent showing and some sun
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:52, Reply)

and some streakers
Don't forget the streakers.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 May 2012, 14:56, Reply)

I've never seen a streaker.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 21 May 2012, 15:02, Reply)

I went to see Scotland v Australia in Edinburgh about 10 years back
and there were about 4 streakers over the course of the day.

3 blokes got caught within seconds of entering the pitch, but the woman was allowed to run free for about 2 minutes - pursued by a team of stewards trying desperately hard not to catch her too quickly.

Add Benny Hill music for extra effect.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 May 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Scotland V Austarlia cricket?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:08, Reply)

No mate
Australia. Big place, other side of the world. Convicts and bar-bies. Remember? Lol.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 May 2012, 15:10, Reply)

People laughed when I spent two months rent on sunglasses. Well WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?
Still them probably. I don't care, I'm rocking my Super Uni Horn shades for the first time and they're ace. Possibly the worst named sunglasses ever though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:42, Reply)

I need to buy some shades for my holidays

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:45, Reply)

will you spending north of £40 like Barry?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Persol 714s definitely.
I got black ones a couple weeks back, they're perfeck. Dark brown are better and I'd recommend anyone buying them to get that colour, but I already have four pairs of brown shades cos I'm a dick.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:47, Reply)

I was taking the piss up there, but your Super Uni Horn seem to be about £80-£90
so you either live in a carboard box, or were massively ripped off...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:48, Reply)

Cheap sunglasses are for cheap people who want to look cheap.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:50, Reply)

Haha!
I *definitely* did not spend way more than that on mine.
( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:54, Reply)

Steve McQueen wore them so this is a plus
I cannot afford to pay that though!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:50, Reply)

The limited edition McQueen ones are mental money.
Theyre about 250 quid! The normal 714s can be got for relatively cheap. I paid ninety for mine.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Around a ton seems about right fo4r some sunnies
there are plenty I like that are more, but i can't justify the cost
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:56, Reply)

I agree. 125 is the most I've spent.
Wouldn't go higher. Mr Porter has some amazing ones but they're way too pricey.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:00, Reply)

I have some ray ban wayfarer style, but witha single lens and red arms
and a pair of Carrera aviators, which are all of the eighties awesomeness
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:05, Reply)

I have some prescription ones I got free with my regular glasses

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:15, Reply)

did they come with a free plaster on the nose

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:18, Reply)

That isn't plaster

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:19, Reply)

You know, I kind of object to feeling like an utter pikey
because I only spent £12 on mine and got them from Next.
(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:23, Reply)

You should have stolen them.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:24, Reply)

No, that would make me feel like even more of a pikey...

(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:28, Reply)

I have some prescription Persols that cost me more than that.
I do love them, though. Only thing is, I may have to get the lenses replaced...
( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:30, Reply)

The hilariously expensive prescription lenses?
...why?
(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:32, Reply)

He's going blind
lol
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:34, Reply)

it's all this talk of Berk in a floaty dress

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:41, Reply)

I fucking love those floaty summer dresses.
Best thing about summer by a country mile.
( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Because I get too much glare when I'm driving
so I need them polarised, which means new lenses. I'll see how it goes. The lenses weren't the hilariously expensive bit.
( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Alt: Threads asking questions about summer.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Do people look forward to wearing certain types of clothes?
This is news to me, I must say
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:56, Reply)

I look forward to being able to wear shorts and flipflops

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:59, Reply)

What's stopping you wearing them now?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:00, Reply)

well I'm at work so...
also it's cold in the winter, who wears shorts and flip flops when it's cold?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:03, Reply)

The girls in Redcar.
They is well hard.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:27, Reply)

You should try going out in Blackpool on a Saturday night in November
I think I was probably the only woman wearing a coat. Mentalists, the lot of them.
(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Well if they live in Blackpool they would need to b one light short of a promenade

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:31, Reply)

it's shitdull on here today
not that i can help, really.

i like my stockings and tights. i miss wearing them in the summer. but i am looking forward to wearing my cropped trousers to work and my cropped jeans and denim miniskirts this summer. plus i am doing so much running that i need to buy them all again in ever decreasing sizes, wooooo.

alt: the newsagents in our office square has started stocking ice creams.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:42, Reply)

do you have anything not cropped?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)

YES
anything and everything i would ever wear on the top half. no way am i unleashing my boobs and stomach upon the innocent world.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Her hairy minge
Sorry Swipey, I'm immensely bored today.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)

that's ok
you just got it confused with your own arsehole there for a second.

remember: your arsehole is the one that likes 12 inch black rubber dildoes rammed up it without lube.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)

Hey, what happens in Gaz, stays in Gaz.
And you're late with my mortgage payment this month.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 May 2012, 15:58, Reply)

mortgages are so bourgeois, darling
get a massive gambling debt, that's where the cool kids are at
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 16:03, Reply)

The choices seem to be:
a) post in this shit thread
b) post in the other shit thread
C) delete my account and kill myself

I'm more inclined towards option c at the moment.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)

It's far more exciting on Stormfront today

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:46, Reply)

you boys and your geeky computer toys

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)

todays hot topic is alternative uses for your empty zyclon b canister

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 21 May 2012, 16:00, Reply)

bagel store

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 16:01, Reply)

that IS hot
my screen is melting
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 16:04, Reply)

It could be worse
not only is it shit dull on here today, I'm having to do some excrutiatingly tedious data entry for work right now as well.
(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)

I propose a 3 word thread

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Oh, fuck no.

( Kroney, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:47, Reply)

startrek fucking sucks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)

fuck you cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Suicide is preferable...

(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)

haha!
That got people out of the woodwork quick enough though, didn't it?!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Awesomely fast flow
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5KtF9Jj29w&feature=fvst
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)

No thanks, I've got AC/DC on.
that I can youtube disco in the lab whilst I'm doing this is about the only thing that's keeping me from burying a biro in my eye out of sheer boredom.
(berk, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:55, Reply)

fuck off back to not-a-mums.net, both of you

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:58, Reply)

i was here a LONG time before you, johnny-come-lately
aka bert
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 16:06, Reply)

i was just saying that maybe if you're only going to complain maybe you should go away

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 16:06, Reply)

yeah but
i've been saying you should go away since you got here, and you ain't listened to a single word yet!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 May 2012, 16:08, Reply)

how dare you adopt a common parlance with me, you skank

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 16:18, Reply)

I work at a uni
When the sun comes out they girls seem to get infinitely hotter and wear far fewer clothes.

IKeepGettingOlderTheyStayTheSameAgeLols
( Peej, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)

I worked at Newcastle Uni for 4 years
Fucking brilliant!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:51, Reply)

What, a bunch of fat sweaty biffas wearing tight shorts?
Sounds fucking awful
( Peej, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:53, Reply)

The students!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)

We did a lads long weekend in Ljubjana
it's a university town and the primary means of getting around for the students appeared to be rollerblades or bikes. Fuck me the arses were incredible.

The girls were nice too haha.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:57, Reply)