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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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"ted"
i'm going to see "ted" and then have dinner tonight. it's the film by the "family guy" dudes. can films of tv shows ever work? i am thinking "the simpsons" says probably not.

alt: what inanimate object would you want to come to life? what could it tell us if it did?

altalt: lunch, of course??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:27, 210 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I've only seen two adverts for Ted and both of those were on the side of a bus.
Based purely on the strength of those, I'll probably wait until it's available for rental like I do with every film ever so that I can watch it in my squalid little den rather than go outside.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:32, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1700446
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:33, Reply)
i think it depends on your humour
i like things that make me stuff my fist in my mouth and squeal "you can't say that!", so i think it should appeal to me.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:37, Reply)

mouth

I don't need to finish this strikethrough gag.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:38, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1700446
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:40, Reply)
I think you've linked the wrong post
I think you meant to link the "you disgust me" one, but you keep posting the "because you're French" one.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:41, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1700446
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Spastic.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:42, Reply)
sorry but it made me laugh
ape makes me laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:43, Reply)
When I call him a spastic
I mean it in much the same way as when I call you useless.

By which I mean I think he's a spastic.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:44, Reply)
*touches*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:46, Reply)
mwa hahaha
my friend just sent me a pic - there's a "ted" app where you can insert this demonic looking teddy bear into your own pics. i am lol-ing hard.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:46, Reply)
You'll have to fight with Sporters as who gets to be my number 1 fan

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Ain't no need for fussin' and a feudin'

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Ted isn't a Family Guy Movie btw...
alt: The giant Jesus statue in Rio. "WORSHIP ME MORTALS, RAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH" *FLAMING BREATH8

altalt: nothing as yet, but soon pints in the sunshine!!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:32, Reply)
She'll be going to see it with her bender not-ex.
It'll be about his speed.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:35, Reply)
you got the "not" in the wrong place - not a bender, sadly an ex
but tonight i am going with 3 female friends. not a dude in sight, thank feck.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Afro Samurai was a great film
Alt. Your vibrator
AltAlt No idea yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:33, Reply)
alt:
i say, steady on, old chap!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Is that what the vibrator would say as it was inched slowly towards your ex's twitching sphincter?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:35, Reply)
oh fair play
that actually got a real life LOL

although it reminded me of the talking one that my friend had once (she was an ann summers rep; it wasn't hers, as such!). horrific.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:36, Reply)
What did it say?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:42, Reply)
all kinds of stupid shit in an american accent
things like "this feels so good" and "i'm so hard for you"

we used to like calling people up and playing it down the phone to them. we were really mature for 23.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Sexeh!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:47, Reply)
it was every bit as sex-eh
as the men's underpants with the animals that neighed or baa'ed or whatever when you lifted up the bit at the front (my mind goes blank as to what that should be called, a sporran or something)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:49, Reply)
cock pouch

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:50, Reply)
Knight Rider 2000
Alt: Why would I want an inanimate object to come to life?

Altalt: Nearly.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:42, Reply)
your username came up on "song pop" last night
i got it wrong :(
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:42, Reply)
You let me down swipo

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:44, Reply)
fucking bob dylan let me down
the gravelly voiced cunt
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:44, Reply)
It's not his fault that you know nothing about music.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:08, Reply)
The times, they are a changin'

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:19, Reply)
So you can have a talking black car obviusly...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Good point
In which case I change my alt to a talking car.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)
I'm loved 'Ted'. I love the 'Flash Gordon' film more than is healthy as well, so that might have helped.
I'd pick the Mission:Impossible films before the TV series. Not sure if this 'Ben Drew' aka 'Plant B' will make 'The Sweeney' film bearable. Ray Winstone in the lack of John Thaw I can live with, everything else....? Well, I just hope they haven't had any dinner.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Also, 'Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me' is fucking ace

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:57, Reply)
whereas the TV series was baffling up-its-own-arse shite

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I don't agree with this internet opinion right here.

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)
The first two Addams Family movies were good as well

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1700494
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Mr Ape, it appears you have opinions that differ from my own
I'm not sure how we can proceed without breaking the internet. Maybe it should be broked, maybe we all should be broked.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:06, Reply)
Broked Britain!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:16, Reply)
The idea of someone as "street" as "Ben Drew" (or "Plan B" as he likes to be called)
directing "Ray Winstone" in a remake of "The Sweeney" sounds like it's going to be the most god awful pile of shit since "Guy Ritchie" made "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and "Snatch"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:58, Reply)
i agree with most of this
but "lock stock" is still a great film
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)
I agree with this opinion on the internet right here

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)
if the milk turns out to be sour
i ain't the kind of pussy to drink it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:05, Reply)
If you don't want to to be dancing with the devil
or counting the fingers YOU HAVEN'T GOT, I suggest you get me those fucking guns.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)
That sounds like a really cool thing to say in a certain situation
Not sure if this is the one, 'coz I'm a bit of a dimwit, but keep up the pithy stuff, it's all cool baby
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)
I like LS&2SB and Snatch, they are entertaining

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:01, Reply)
This^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)
That^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:18, Reply)
^t'other

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)
These^

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)
those ^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)
Them^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:09, Reply)
^ None of the above

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I thought Plan B was decent in Harry Brown.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:07, Reply)
I agree

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:10, Reply)
I fucking love Plan B
His stuff is wicked.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:21, Reply)
altalt: chicken and meatball wrap with halloumi
trying a new stall from the market, Turkish stuff, it's v nice.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:56, Reply)
i fucking love haloumi
pret do a toasted haloumi, red pepper and harissa sandwich that is cream your pants hot
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)
It takes more than a sandwich to make me cream
/is old
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:00, Reply)
two midgets fighting in a vat of haloumi?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:04, Reply)
go on

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Needs MOAR Battered and 'dozer

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:10, Reply)
surprised nobody on this geekfest has mentioned the Firefly movie
Senility or whatever it was.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 12:59, Reply)
They all wanked themselves in the 4th dimension overf that already

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:02, Reply)
i still have a little more to go
man, I love firefly
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Can somebody please sort out some new home insurance for me?
It is fucking dull and they ask far too many questions.
Thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:06, Reply)
"How did your last two homes burn down?"

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:08, Reply)
They're so preachy

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)

They' Kids ar
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Convoluted

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:18, Reply)
That's how those Peados like it

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:21, Reply)
It's like a Who followup single

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:23, Reply)

Who KC and the Sunshine Band
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Whooooo-oooooo-ooooo-ooo-ooo-ooooo
That's the way, I like kid
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Yeah, sure, why not.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:09, Reply)
Big Ben
for clocktowerdeathlols

Alt:
4 pints of Peroni
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:10, Reply)
you want beer to come to life?
why?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)
So I dont have to go to the pub
Duur
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)
and I expect the wailing and gnashing and pleading for mercy
as you drunk them would make them all the sweeter
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:39, Reply)
I think when I pulled their heads off to drink would be enough

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:41, Reply)
ARSEGATE UPDATE
According to my friend, my arse wasn't hanging out at all. It appears I was just being flat out propositioned.

And I turned them down without any sort of excuse. How rude am I?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)
You are a fucking idiot
I hope this helps
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:13, Reply)
he could of got a right bumming if he'd acted cool

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Buggery isn't really my bag.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Shit happens

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:15, Reply)
I've heard it's practically guaranteed.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Sweet
corn
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:16, Reply)
what was your arse doing in a gate?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:33, Reply)
Fucked if he knows

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:35, Reply)
well that's an opportunity

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:36, Reply)
Any holes a goal

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:38, Reply)
Chill out and enjoy yourself
alt: My Wife

Altalt; Reheated goulash
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Reheated gash FTW

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Better than reheated Gash-goo

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Zombienombielols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:20, Reply)
your thinking of
ghoulash
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:34, Reply)
*glares*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:35, Reply)
*leaves internet*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:36, Reply)
*beckons back*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)
i didn't really go
HA! Fooled you all!
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)
*would have gotten away with it, but for pesky kids*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:38, Reply)
altalt: salami, mozerealla and pesto sandwich
didn't taste of much
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:27, Reply)
i have not heard of this film
I have not been to see a film for many months. Perhaps I should. What should I see?

alt: robots, always robots

altalt: what? I only just had my breakfast
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Altalt nothing yet. My hangover is so terrible that I suspect I would immediately vomit any food I attempted to ingest

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:32, Reply)
This is good going at half one
I propose a pint
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:34, Reply)
I am determined not to have a beer.




Yet.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:50, Reply)
I want MOAR

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:03, Reply)
Have you thought about killimng yourself?
Or pop around to Kroney's and you can spoon him until you both feel beter
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:36, Reply)
tea and dessert

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:37, Reply)
christ what an image

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:43, Reply)
Like Gerard Depardeu giving Sarkozy a piggyback

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:44, Reply)
you are on fire today
doubtless someone will say "shame it's not literal"

i would never say that

also, never thought i'd say it, but where's quentin? still stepped?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)
He never was stepped.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:46, Reply)
He started a thread on Wednesday saying he wasn't, then vanished again
must have mentioned sh*ds too many times or something.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)
or maybe someone else nicked his name with hilarious consequences?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:04, Reply)
You dropped either these " " or this (!)

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)
no, i was serious
comedy accounts are HILARIOUS
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:16, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1700615
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:17, Reply)
Any particular reason for last night's levity?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:44, Reply)
hello pervy

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)
Wotcha.
Everything copacetic?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)
Good word.
I like that.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:48, Reply)
I too like that word*


*with no Googling at all
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:49, Reply)
Good word

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:48, Reply)
Met up with two of my best friends for the evening. An excellent night. Paying the price now though.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:49, Reply)
Jack and Jim?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:50, Reply)
No. It was a night of cider. About 14 pints of it I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:51, Reply)
cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:52, Reply)
Fuck off Legless.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I'm aiming for this consumption tomorrow

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:06, Reply)
Just occurred to me I am drinking again tomorrow night.
"Hello is that The Priory? I'd like to book a room please".
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)
How does going on a shit Channel 4 chat show help?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:00, Reply)
It worked for Davina

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:04, Reply)
It's almost like your username fits you

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:04, Reply)
It's almost like his assertion that he would take a month off teh booze was just so much hot air.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:10, Reply)
It was a typing error
He keeps a moth on his booze to prevent Kroney from stealing it and has now decided that this is an unnecessary precaution.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:12, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:13, Reply)
click!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:18, Reply)
I assumed moths wouldn't like the stench of garlic.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:19, Reply)
there is something funny about such a tall macho bloke
being terrified of a moth
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:20, Reply)
I don't find it funny at all

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:21, Reply)
you've got a webcam, right?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)
Hahaha
worst attempt at cybering ever
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)
Show her your balls
(+ moth, that is)
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
i would get so much more pleasure out of the sight of you and a moth each making the other flap around the room
than anyone ever got out of cybering, ever!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Probably just as well you're not a macho bloke either.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)
She has a different idea of what macho means to the rest of us.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)
The criteria was clearly laid down by Sinitta:
- Big
- Strong
- Big blue eyes
- Be able to satisfy
- All of the above need to be in sufficient quantities to turn her on
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:28, Reply)
hahahahahahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:29, Reply)
And then she went out with Cowell
proving beyond doubt that enough money trumps all physical inadequacies.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
i quite fancy a bit of simon
although he gets his beauty treatments at my salon on high st ken. they are quite indiscreet about what he has done.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
+'s coin purse

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)
His wallet no doubt

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)
We need to know

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:32, Reply)
he has his fingers waxed

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:37, Reply)
I always imagined Kroney to be pretty effeminate

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)
no, he's all tall and hairy

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
what happened to that thread full of pictures of everyone?
Even i was in there somewhere
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:29, Reply)
Do you mean this one?
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1413741
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)
sounds lethal

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:35, Reply)
+ and

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:29, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
I have a 42" chest.
If that helps you when you imagine me, you filthy pervert.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:32, Reply)
+A

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:33, Reply)
DD cup?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:37, Reply)
+ freezer

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:40, Reply)
I never said which month it would be.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:25, Reply)
April 2156

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:28, Reply)
Stupid bastard Tesco Insurance
Dear Mr Upinblue,

We can automatically renew your home insurance for £VASTINCREASEONLASTYEAR, please sleepwalk thorough the rest of this letter and then forget about it.

Lots of love,
Tesco Insurance


By the way, if you want to go online and fill in your details again yourself to renew the policy it will cost pretty much the same as it did last year. Shh.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)
I hate doing insurance stuff

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:49, Reply)
It's almost worth paying the extra couple of hundred pounds every year to avoid all the tedious form filling.
Almost
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:52, Reply)
I hate that.
Rang the house insurance to cancel, having got a cheaper quote off some meerkat.
"Can I see if we can do it cheaper for you?"
"No, you should have done that before sending me the renewal. Goodbye."
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:53, Reply)
you have a cooling off period I'm sure

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:54, Reply)
I did say to her after that
"unless we're talking £100 cheaper? "
"Er, no."
"Bye then"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)
Oh this^
"I'll just speak to my manager"

"OK, tell him to fuck off an' all"
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)
I shall be doing this in future
MAYBE THEY'LL LEARN.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:57, Reply)
My mate Chris here at work keeps getting PPI calls
It is hilarious when he gets going

"NO, I WASN'T STUPID ENOUGH TO TAKE IT OUT!"
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:05, Reply)
lunch
Was scampi and chips followed by 6 chocolate muffins.

I had 6 muffins because only bloaters seem to win the euro lottery and £142 million would be quite useful.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:08, Reply)
sometimes i wish I were you
(this time, after the scampi but before the chips and cake)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:09, Reply)
Take a look at picture 18:
www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/19190921

Does that look a tiny bit... well... "bent" to you? I mean it's hockey, and we know they're all a bit light in the plimsolls, but still.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:15, Reply)
He just has lovely hair

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:16, Reply)
it's like a gay twilight or something

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:19, Reply)
+er

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:20, Reply)
I think it's lovely

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:16, Reply)
ping?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:17, Reply)
probably
but no one really knew what that meant.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:19, Reply)
I missed the original lovelyping

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:24, Reply)

the original lovelyping nothing
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:28, Reply)
you didn't miss much

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:28, Reply)
No
It looks enormously bent.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:17, Reply)
i miss the mighty badger

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:17, Reply)
He was here earlier

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:19, Reply)
murp

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:21, Reply)
he has no hair

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:21, Reply)
The use of party poppers when ICT apprentices are plugging in power cables is really quite funny

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:23, Reply)
haha!
I have got to try this next time we move computers around at work.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:25, Reply)
You nerds are so "LOL"

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
\o/

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:29, Reply)
It is shockingly effective

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)
you shoukd tazer them

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:31, Reply)
I fear that health and safety would have "something" to say about this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:32, Reply)
hahahah
Someone I know was once attacking a piniata. At the point she shit it, I shouted as if in pain. Surprisingly effective
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Sounds like she'd approached the game
in a drastically incorrect manner.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:28, Reply)
it's a game?
I thought it was just about violence and sweeties
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:29, Reply)
All the best kids games involve violence and sweeties

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:45, Reply)
I like the "get into my fucking car you sexy bitch" game
though it made my bottom hurt
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:47, Reply)
she shit it?
This would hurt
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 14:30, Reply)

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