Now you come to mention it...
...several years ago when I was making a living smoothing the edges of matchsticks that are used in world record breaking model making attempts, I suffered a minor industrial accident when a splinter of endangered hardwood flew from the high speed lathe and punctured my left earlobe. It wasn't a bad wound, but when I complained to the boss (a large, obscenely sweaty Welshman) he claimed that I shouldn't really be complaining as firstly I wasn't hurt, and secondly that I'd just had my ear pierced for free. I pointed out to him that I did not want my ear pierced, as I find the sight of men wearing earrings, particularly one earring and especially one (almost invariably) diamonte earring, vilely inappropriate. He was unrepentant; there was for me on that day, no Welcome In The Valleys.

Rather than sink to the level of Claims Direct and any others from that monstrous cabal of those with the moral rectitude of an incontinent dog, I instead hired a small private security company, who rather like the A-Team, will help you (sometimes) if you can find them. Having swiftly dispatched the perfumed Taff who had so wronged me, I found myself writing them a cheque for services rendered. It could therefore be said that I have indeed, paid Force X, and most satisfactory was the whole affair, too.
( petuniadb, Fri 20 Jan 2006, 16:40, Reply)