people who say things like
_{bzzZZzzbzzZZZzzzz}lOLolOLOLOLololOLbzZZZzZZbzzzZzZZZzzzZZ^{lolOLolOLolOLOLolOLBZzzzZzZzzZZ}lOLol_LOLLolOLolOLololololol_{LOLololOLololOL}BZZZzZzZzbZZZZZZZ

all the time
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 8 May 2008, 12:02, 7 replies)

Being touched
Ok, my pet peeve isn't exactly getting touched. I'm a wee bit on the shorter side or tall. (Not quite five foot) and people somehow have taken this as a sign that somehow I won't get annoyed If they jokingly pat me on the head or rest their elbows on it. (generally these days I take that as a sign that they won't in return get mad if I return that with a swift elbow to the ribs)No You cannot erst your pint there. Unless when you say that you really mean spend an evening in casualty after I've smashed it into your face

I don't actually like it when people try to lift me up. Its not cute. Or funny. I will bite.

Actually short jokes in general, or having to pre-empt people and make them myself. I'm not a fucking midget -3 inches too tall actually. The weather is not different down here and if I need something high up I'll get one of you lanky gits to fetch it. I swear to god if one more person asks if I'm going to kick them in the shins I'll kneecap them. Clearly I've noticed that I'm short so please don't point it out to me again. I'm an angry little woman at the best of times. Don't make it worse...
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Thu 8 May 2008, 12:00, 9 replies)

Polyethylene terephthalate
That is what's more commonly known as "PET".

I work with systems that are trying to replace it in the bottling industry. *yawn*

Here at work We're always talking about "Pet Re-Cycling" and I have to stifle giggles as I picture Paris Hilton's pet rat-dog being re-cycled in a big grinder...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 8 May 2008, 11:58, 5 replies)

Surf during the week
I have to work monday to friday, with the odd exception.

The weather and the surf is always better during these days of the week.

unfair.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 May 2008, 11:47, Reply)

Brim measure, goverment breaking promises.
Our government cannot be trusted. Way down the list was a pledge to introduce lined glasses throughout the uk on their first election.
did they? did they fuck!
Camra said they thought they would pull out.

It is a rip off, and the expensive places in cities are the worst offenders and the bastards fit sparklers to create foam.

It is our duty to demand a full pint and I do.If that clogs up their trade for the extra time they shouldn`t be so greedy should they?

W/spons and sam smiths usually serve a full pint (even if served by an ex commonwealth accent)
My old boss is also a licensee for a sports club, and at a trade fair got a credit card type plastic calculator which you could hold up to the head on a standard straight glass and look down the price per pint column and find out how much you were being ripped off. THAT WORKS! sadly it doesnt have a column above £2.50 so is out of date

just before the last supposed expression of our democratic rights I got a labour canvasser.
( I`d also had a tory and a few others who demonstrated their inability to read a notice on my door and not ring. All sent off with earfleas)

This one was really keen. "how can I vote for a government that doesn`t keep its promises?" and after stats and speech on education, health etc covering all the other likely things people would be pissed off at he drew a blank, I dropped in that "you promised line measure", and whilst reeling "AND REPRIVATISATION OF OUR PUBLIC TRANPORT!"
He had obviously been told dont turn and run, they might pounce and claw you to bits, so he backed out looking very Prey animal.

Ask for a top up and if you have more than 2mm of foam remaining, and no effort to do it, call the manager, it WILL be a managed house.
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Thu 8 May 2008, 11:45, 1 reply)

Glue
After yesterdays super glue antics, I have today moved on to Pritt stick.

I hate it.

It feels rubbish, it's leaving lumpy bits on the back of pictures, and it doesn't stick properly.

What kind of glue is it if it isn't sticking stuff to other stuff?


Grr.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 8 May 2008, 11:36, 33 replies)

You know what really grinds my gears......
Work.

I fuckin' hate work... and to make matters worse I didn't win the lotto last night.

Its not that my job is a bad one or that my colleagues are ass holes, because they're not. I just hate having to get up and go to work.....I also don't appreciate the fact that I have to do stuff when I'm there....

I do like getting paid though. Yeah pay-day today.

Oh and another thing Man. Utd. supporters really get on my tits!

That is all.
(Kopite Ceoil agus Craic, Thu 8 May 2008, 11:23, 3 replies)

More peeves
Following on from yesterday's post

41 People who don't take climate change seriously.

42 People who seem to think that only children play computer games.

43 Overzealous spam-filters.

44 The new layout of the BBC news website.

45 The word 'innit' and anyone who uses it.

_{Rest assured my cuddly QOTW'ers, the peeves question will come to an end today.}
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 8 May 2008, 11:13, 2 replies)

Board Cliques
We all know.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 8 May 2008, 11:07, 9 replies)

I bloody hate filing.
When do I get my own 16 year old office monkey to do my bloody filing.

When hell freezes over, that's when.
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 May 2008, 11:03, 13 replies)

Yet another one.................
People who slag off the readers of a particular paper, be it beardy lefty Guardian readers or foaming at the mouth Sun or Mail Nazis......last time I looked, we were living in a democracy (allegedly), which means people have the freedom to express their opinions....

Erm....I know I'm ranting, but how about a bit of tolerance all round?
(wobbegong69 has been soaring................, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:59, 3 replies)

Gobbing..............
Specifically, those little arseholes who seem to think it's fantasically cool to spit every third step - it isn't, it's a filthy habit. I'd like to drown the bastards in a vat of saliva......
(wobbegong69 has been soaring................, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:54, Reply)

Fucking kettles
Listen, Chinese kettle-makers! I don't fucking care how small your cups are over there! Over here, we have our tea in mugs. Coffee drinkers, the heathens, seem to be using mugs, too.

So why, when I'm making four cups of tea, do I need to fill the fill level up to '6' to get enough water?

Tbh, this really is a 'pet' peeve, and is probably the mildest annoyance listed this week.
( Thinker, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:34, Reply)

If this is true
Then it'll be a mighty peeve.
If it isn't, then I'm just a paranoid wierdo.

I think that the reason we're getting so many repeats of QOTWs is so that the b3ta overlords have enough material for a book.

We're like cattle to them, milk us of stories until we're dry.
( Cawl, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:32, 18 replies)

Self as Benchmark
I am great at grammar, and it irritates me when people get it wrong

Let’s face it, English is a complex thing. Yes, a certain level of competence might reasonably be expected. However I guarantee that a great number of those who throw rocks at people who confuse such things as their/there would have their own written work torn to shreds by genuine experts in the field. Write something lengthy and then engage an expert and see how you fare.


Those people are overweight. That makes me really angry.

(I accept that overweight is not the same as obese but this is a rant thread) so cut me some slack.

Um, why? If you find them unattractive, fair enough. If it’s uncomfortable to be in close proximity to them sometimes (e.g. on a plane), fair enough. If you consider them to be an additional burden on the health system, fair enough. But let’s face it, the above conditions could be met by any number of people and circumstances, be they overweight or not. If you really have an issue with overweight people, for whatever reason, I challenge you to check your own BMI. Consider asking the staff at the local gym to help you calculate the figure. See what it is like to be judged by someone else’s standards and then let’s see what you do about it. I think many of you will get a shock, but if you aren’t in the obese, and hence visibly identifiable category, then why worry hey.


I hate bad drivers. I see them everywhere. They are dangerous.

Driving is a potentially lethal activity and it’s fair to be annoyed by people who drive unsafely. They can cause you and yours great harm, and controlling X ton/tonne of metal is a serious issue. People doing the obviously stupid things, like speeding or talking on the phone, are clearly in the wrong. But how do people see you as a driver? How do we assess our own driving skills? By lack of accidents? By lack of incidents? By lack of beeps? Or do we get our driving skills checked by professional driver trainers? No, we don’t (most of us). Most of us probably haven’t even taken any additional driving training at all. Why not? Is it ok to be annoyed by other drivers doing the wrong thing yet not bother to ensure we are the best possible drivers we can be?

There are lots of holes in what I have written, but the key point is that there is an intrinsic conceitedness in using ourselves as benchmarks - particularly in condemning anyone who doesn’t meet our standards.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:32, 6 replies)

ok that's it
i hate missing out on things. i always like to know everything.

so now my newest pettest peeve is not knowing what all the arguments and apologies on this qotw are about. what racist? what offence? what? why? who? how?!

and as i've had more than one gaz asking me if i know, i am not the only puzzled one.

somebody pls to explain?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:29, 13 replies)

is it just me...
...or has this weeks question caused more ranting, bickering, apologies, retractions repercussions and deletions than ANY other QOTW evah!

we have even flushed out swifty the sleeping racist - so it's been worth it.

so i think my pet peeve is QOTW questions designed *looks around conspiratorially* to fuck with our heads

*taps nose*

PS unclechuckles SORRY!!!! FFS S.O.R.R.Y! mkay?
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:27, Reply)

Small Message Fields
The small message field for typing posts on b3ta. WTF? Maybe its not such an issue for most, but I'm in the yellow circle club (over 40) and use ctrl+scroll wheel to increase the font size...

At a comfortable (for me) reading size, only the first paragraph of this crap post fits in the message field when actually typing the reply.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:14, 8 replies)

The Jesus Army
Or, as I call the, the God Squad.

I am a peaceful person, have nothing against other people's beliefs and I think that religeon when used properly is a great thing for those who have them. My mum's catholic, my dad's protestant and I'm pagan, quite a mix there really.

Anyway, the God Squad actually scare and worry me. Although they seem to be a harmless group of people (some of whom live next door and took my parking space last night, grrrrr) But the fact that they have organised themselfes into and 'Army' suggests they have something to violently fight against.

Sometimes I will see a group of three of them marching around town with their flag, other times they're cruising around in their minibus, but all of the time I'm wondering how Jesus gets to have an army when, for example, the "Islam Army" might get run out of town with pitchforks!

What are they fighting against? Its a constant worry and fear.

I don't understand.

On a similar strain, I have a small peeve with the Christian faith. As I said before I love people having their own views and truly enjoy discussing religeon with people, but I don't like the fact that I either can't tell people of my religeon or let it slip, I get horrified looks (my boss even made the cross gesture with her fingers) and people think I worship the devil

Reality check...

1) Satanists and Christians are BOTH Devil worshippers as well as God worshippers because you simply cannot put that much faith and respect into one without feeling the same for the other

2) There is no such thing as the Devil in Paganism, there is equal good and bad in everything

3) Christianity demonised Paganism many years ago making people believe that to be Pagan is to worship the Devil

4) Paganism is a lovely religeon (once I've been able to explain what it is to people most say that its one of the most beautiful religeons they've heard of)

why can people not open their minds?

My boss also asked me the other day "Does having piercings affect your brain or something?" she was talking about a lecturer who wass on her back about something who happened to have piercings and thought she's ask me this scarily genuine question because I have piercings too.
(Katzilla Follow Me! @Kat_Zilla (I don't promise funnehs), Thu 8 May 2008, 10:09, 14 replies)

Rich People Eating Poor People Food
Bizarre and suspect cuts of meat, eminently affordable by desperadoes such as myself and formerly of appeal only to owners of large neglected lurchers, suddenly being rocketed to popularity and unaffordability by some bored food pornographer. A tray of trotters or shins which would have once fed me for a week at minimal cost are now worth their weight in gold because of some trendy bitch's efforts to commodify what was once called "scran" and is now known as "comfort food".

Go root for some truffles and keep your manicured mitts off my offal.
(lonelybadger, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Overpriced Shite Flimsy Trendy Footwear
Havaianas.

I'm sorry, people. It doesn't matter if they've got a little rubber logo on them, or that you paid ten quid for them at some wanky boutique. They're flip-flops. They're Hong Kong Thongs. They're fine if you need them to walk on the beach or if you happen to be a porter at a Kowloon fishmarket, but for fuck's sake, no matter how you look at them or how you wear them, they ain't couture. They're vulgar, and they look like shee-it.

If you must be vulgar and look like shee-it, be honest about it and get a pair of seventies-style cheapies from the pound shop, and I'll have a lot more respect for you. Seeing the supposed sartorial saving grace of the word "Havaianas" emblazoned on your footwear makes me want to plant my size 8 #501 "Crazy Horse" textured leather Blundstone, procured by mail at some expense and effort from Sam Bear Disposals in Melbourne, firmly between your pertly clenched arsecheeks.
(lonelybadger, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:01, 2 replies)

Hayfever
I think I already mentioned this earlier in the week, but I would like to reiterate:

Hayfever sucks.

A lot.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 8 May 2008, 10:00, 8 replies)

Fuel!
How cna the price of fuel have risen so much in a year?

What used to cost me about £130 a month, now costs me in the region of £200!

Now that is a pet peeve and I feel impotent against it.
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 8 May 2008, 9:47, 6 replies)

Fishy-symbols on cars...
I was going to grumble, but then realised that these symbols act as a warning symbol.

Fishy-Sign = "look out, I'm a shit driver"
Fishy-sign on Volvo = "Look out, I'm a dangerously ignorant driver"

EDIT: PJM-inspired caveat: this does not apply to Bikers....
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 8 May 2008, 9:38, 9 replies)

A very Humpty-family-only one..
My mum - bless her cotton socks - says "I-een" a lot.

Over the years of explanatory conversation the phrase "I mean" had become "I een" and is slipped into many little gaps in speach.

"I-een it's only another cup of coffee." etc.

Ever since my older brother pointed it out it has been bugging me.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 8 May 2008, 9:36, Reply)

"I want to buy a laptop for about £500, what do you recommend?"
...

that you ask Mr. Google instead?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 8 May 2008, 9:31, 1 reply)

When people say
"they turned around and said"..."then she turned around and said"..."so I turned around and said"
I've known a few people to say this phrase when retelling a conversation they had previously. But no-one does it worse than my friend Sarah. It makes me think that whenever she talks to people, they are all spinning around during the conversation.
( Mellicious is made of candy, Thu 8 May 2008, 9:23, 3 replies)

Self-righteousness, sanctimoniousness, preaching
People who try to be "right on" in a withering way, people who are really post-modern and witty in a reeelly dry and ironic way.

For example - The Smiths, Morrissey, and all of their singularly fucking studenty fans, vegefuckingtarians, Jarvis Cocker, et fucking al.

Grow a fucking spine instead of whining you pathetic little shits. Just because you can't fight doesn't mean you have to act like a fucking girl.

Hypocrites who make "ist" jokes and try to justify it by saying "I'm allowed to say that because I'm a Jew/black/woman/gay".

And I'm allowed to say all this because I'm a dyed-in-the-wool New Model Army fan, and their fans are all a bunch of self-righteous, sanctimonious, preachy generally vegetarian gits.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 May 2008, 8:59, 1 reply)

Self service checkouts.............
Supermarkets - I already pay enough for my shopping, so why should I save you the cost of employing someone to put it through the checkout? Also, why shut the two 'basket only' tills at the busiest times of day? No wonder I end up binge drinking on supermarket own label booze - it's all a cunning marketing ploy - bastards!

Seethe........
(wobbegong69 has been soaring................, Thu 8 May 2008, 8:56, 2 replies)

Dad and Porn.
My mum's quite heavily disabled and there's no way she and my dad are ever going to "get it on" again... the pain would be too much for her.
A few years ago I realised this and introduced my dad to a couple of "safe" porn sites... he became a more chilled person, and was very grateful.

*Good.. no probs dad, don't mention it. No really - don't mention it*

*********

He kept his end of the bargain for a long time until recently... and this is my peeve. He's far too honest.

"Hey Humpty... have you ever seen "redtube.com"?
"Of Course I have Dad ... Why?"
"Well, I saw someone "Foot-Fucking" I mean - you know - a woman getting a *foot* stuffed inside herself. A whole FOOT!! .. and now I can't look at a woman without wondering if she enjoys having a foot inside her..."
:o/
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 8 May 2008, 8:39, 5 replies)