Shower Anyone ?
My mate from Beckenham, let call him Brad for the sake of argument and cos its his name, is not posh, not at all, is 6 foot somfink ,looks like an extra from Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and everything he says sounds like a threat. He also has a neck problem in that he has some fused vertibrae which mean he can't turn his head so turns his body..... he also has a liking for Mr J Daniels and has a penchance for stripping to the waist when bevvied up and walking up to strangers in the street, bending down so he is at face height and screaming "I'm a f*cking nutter" at them. Charming I'm sure you'll agree.....anyway, now you have an idea of the character....

Said friend was at a posh party (how he got invited I don't know, probably mistaken identity) and was generally being ignored by everyone because he hired his tux as opposed to had it hand sewn by blind Tibetan monks.... the only attention he seem to be able to attract was from the copius numbers of waiting staff who ensured his glass was never empty...... as the evening progressed he got steadily more unsteady and generally was determined to try and tale a few people out of their comfort zones. Wind on a bit to the small hours of the morning where most people were at "copping off" stage....... he spies a girl who looks very posh (well he said she looked a bit like a horse but the QOTW wasn't about people who looked like a horse so we are assuming here that people at posh party who look a bit horsey are probably posh) and she was clearly waiting for someone to return with a drink or from the bog or somewhere. Anyway, moving swiftly on, he decides to make his play, he swaggers up to her, actually he probably swayed up to her but swagger is a much better word, and decided his best opening chat up line was...."Hello Love, can I P*ss on your T*ts".... the reason why this story is, well to me anyway, so memorable is that she said in a cut glass accent "Yes, if you like".

We'll skip the whole relationship thing until a more relevant QOTW surfaces but as he has only tried said chat up line twice and has pulled once then in the words of Family Fortunes "We asked 100 posh birds if we could p*ss on their t*ts"...then my bet for top answer would be "Yes, if you like" at 50%.
( Spackweasel - because weasels get Downs Syndrome too, Fri 16 Sep 2005, 10:19, Reply)