When were you last really scared?We'd been watching the Shining. We were staying in an old church building. In hindsight, taking the shortcut home after midnight, in the mist, through the old graveyard was a bad idea.
I'm not sure what started it, but suddenly all the hairs on my neck had gone up and I was crapping myself. It was almost as bad as when, after a few cups of coffee too many and buzzing on caffeine, I got freaked out by my own reflection in the toilets.
When were you last really scared?
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chthonic, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 15:43)
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ZombiesTold this one before. Not me being terrified, but an unsuspectingo punter.
When I was a young pup I used to go to the cinema every Thursday with my then girlfriend Anne. And we always used to watch horror movies. I used to love the old gore-fests although nothing I ever watched ever scared me -except for Poltergeist for some silly reason. Odd that. Anyway. This one week we were watching a double feature and the first feature had just finished and the lights came up dimly. Now in those days we had usherettes - women who used to show you to your seats and who would serve ice-cream, popcorn etc during the intermission - and one of these duly appeared and started serving sweeties to the masses. After a few minutes I saw this strapping Geordie bloke walking up the aisle carrying two Cornettos (ice-cream cones). As he got halfway up the aisle some curtains that hid a fire door swished aside and this shambling horror burst into the picture hall. It was a fucking zombie! All green and grey with tattered clothes and patches of blood all over him.
So this freak lurched right into the path of the strapping Geordie bloke and stumbled towards him, moaning. Geordie bloke, an ice-cream in each hand, took one look at him and screamed like a girl. His face was a picture of pure shock and terror so he did the only thing a self-respecting Geordie could do when faced with a Zombie and carrying ice-cream. He kicked the horror right in the nuts with all of his strength and watched it drop like a bag of shit clutching its wounded nads. For some reason the moans sounded a lot more human now.
Now what had actually happened was that the cinema was doing a promotion for the next weeks horror flick - a Zombie movie - and they'd dressed some poor member of staff up as a Zombie in order to drum up a bit of interest. Well it worked for me. Once I realised that it was an actor and not a real Zombie, about a split second before Geordie lad rearranged his nuts, I was very interested. After I stopped laughing myself sick.....
Cheers
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Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 17:55,
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