Never mess with people on a porn forum.
A few years ago I went through a phase of watching internet porn, and my favourite site was "Free6". One day out or sheer boredom I went on the site forum, it was the same format as the B3ta main board and people were posting porn images and generally discussing porn in quite a sedate manner.

Now here's the thing, I noticed all the log-in names were along the lines of "BigGuy32", "PornKing69", i.e. all blokes. I had just seen that film "Road Kill" where 2 brothers pretend to be a sexy woman called "Candy Cane" and wind up an irate trucker.

So monkey-see-monkey-do, I signed in as "Candy". I typed "Hi boys, i'm a bit new to porn and a bit nervous about the whole thing, but I like what I see". Straight away I was getting messages but they were from the German punters..."Fichst du Candy?", "Sprechen sie Deutsch?"...etc. Bollocks said I, and went to find my old German dictionary to aid my wind-up antics.

I was only gone a few minutes, but when I got back to the computer what I saw made me stumble backwards...the forum had gone mad, there were pages and pages of:-

HI CANDY!
Yo Candy!
DO you fuck?
Send photos
Do you suck dick?
SAY SOMETHING!

and it went on like this and the board was moving so fast there wasnt time to read what people were saying, and then it turned nasty...

SAY SOMETHING!
SPEAK TO US!!!
COCK TEASING BITCH, GONNA FUCK YOU
SUCK MY COCK BITCH
I WANA SEE YOUR CUNT

People were posting images of their cocks, much of what was said was in German but I knew enough to tell it had got nasty. I quickly disconnected and turned my computer off. As I sat there I realised my heart rate was through the roof and I was quite shaken, I had tapped into something very dark and sinister and to this day I have avoided internet porn.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 23 Feb 2007, 10:45, Reply)