Rats
Over a year ago, the house next to me had been left empty for many months, and the new owners had now decided to get the builders in and they gutted the house completely and deposited everything in about 6 or 7 skips. There's nothing scary about that. Meanwhile I was called away on business to South Africa, and one day I receive a hysterical phone call from Mrs Turb0t to say that there is a huge rat in the bin that is attached to the inside of the cupboard door under the kitchen sink. Obviously the rat had been evicted from the house next door when the builders moved in and decided to settle in Turb0t Towers.
Many weekly visits from the pest control man followed until he was satisfied that the rat(s) had gone. During this time I had to stay calm to keep Mrs Turb0t from getting hysterical about having a rat living in the house. I'm not saying that I wasnt afriad, but I had to show Mrs Turb0t that I wasn't.
Lets say about 6 months have passed...
I buy myself a nice new 7.1 surround sound A/V amplifier for my rather nice 46" Bravia X series TV.
Everything is connected up. Centre speaker, Two Front speakers, Two surround side speakers two rear surround speakers, low down, behind the seats, and a big subwoofer. Glory be to Sky+ that gives an optical digital sound output that plugs neatly into the amp.
First night, Myself and Mrs Turb0t have settled down in front of the TV with some take-away chinky food, and we start watching a psychological horror on Sky, and there is a russling noise coming from behind us. Mrs Turb0t lept 6 feet into the air screaming about "the rats come back". I just laughed as it was clearly the surround sound. It took me nealy half an hour to get her calm again.
The next morning I got up, went into the kitchen. The left over chinese food from the night before has all gone and the little containers are all over the floor, the fruit in the fruit bowl has been eaten to the core, and there is a wet dirty streak leading from the (filled up) sink to said fruit bowl. I was fucking petrified as the little fucker was back, not only that I was more scared that I had to clean up the kitchen and put things straight before Mrs Turb0t decided to come downstairs and get hysterical again.

Applogies for length, and that it was a fucking boring story which has now stolen 5 minutes of your life.
( turb0t, Wed 28 Feb 2007, 17:28, Reply)