the bbc
Had toast sandwiches on this morning, a slice of toast between two bits of bread, buttered, salted and peppered.
One of Fanny Craddocks recipes from 1796 or something.
(lordy lordy, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 10:25, 1 reply)

Condoms are expensive
but abortions are free
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 10:18, 3 replies)

Kidnap George Osborne
and refuse to let him go until he absolutely promises to lower taxes.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 10:17, 2 replies)

Using a bin bag, it's possible to construct a pyramidal roof above a camp fire (get an adult to help you - you may want to camp under a large tree, to suspend the bag using string from one of the lower branches).
Pop a pot of river water on said fire beneath the structure, and place a receptical at each corner of the bin bag.

Hey presto! Purifed water, ready to drink!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 10:00, 8 replies)

Pensioners feel the benifit of not dying alone and cold possibly with a broken hip.
By spending money on heating and not tripping over the cat or ranting at what is left of your family
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 10:00, 2 replies)

Affraid of dying this winter from the cold?
Pensioners why not connect your catheter to the central heating system, this way you can pay to only heat the what needs to be heated
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Batteries.
We get through a lot of them at home.

Maplins sell boxes of them dirt cheap. You can buy 100 AA, or 100 AAA alkaline batteries for £14.99. Far as I can see they last just as long as standard Duracells, but are 1/5 the price.

It's also handy to buy 100 at a time, we never run out of the things.

I'm aware we could use rechargeables, but they're a faff, and also they're generally only 1.2volts, which for some equipment isn't good enough.
(username failed moderation, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 9:52, 10 replies)

Save money on expensive horses by riding cheaper animals.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 16 Nov 2011, 9:51, 4 replies)

Feeling the cold this winter?
Gut your local charity mugger like a tauntaun and deck those halls with his festive entrails.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Make your own money by simply writing IOUs instead.
I mean, that's all cash is anyway, isn't it, eh kids?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 9:18, 1 reply)

A pile of burning tramps makes an ideal, inexpensive festive table display.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 9:06, Reply)

save on groceries
by eating your eyes
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Sell the family silver to help pay off your gambling debts.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 8:54, 2 replies)

Save money on prossies by giving my mum a call instead.
Her number's 666.
(TheAmazingMeatMan ™ can't sing, but he's got soul, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 8:42, 3 replies)

When one of your horses or hunting dogs gets old or ill.
Use it for one of your banquets, just cover it in garlic and tell the guests it is venison.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 8:32, Reply)

Live in one wing of your stately home during the winter.
That way you only pay to heat half of it.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 8:31, Reply)

Get the butler to work as the chauffeur as well thus paying only one wage.
*This also works for the maid/cook.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 8:30, 1 reply)

Don't spend all day on B3ta, try doing some work you lazy cunts.
And the rest of you get a job.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 8:28, 2 replies)

Save money on pillows by filling an old sack with dead birds.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 8:16, Reply)

Eat only beans for every meal
Not only are they cheap but you can use the resulting methane to heat your home
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 3:42, Reply)

Only buy Christmas presents for people you actually see in person on Christmas day
No one gets put out that you didn't get them anything if it's not Christmas anymore and you save a load of money. You can't lose!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 3:38, 1 reply)

Save vast amounts
By being very rich. Outgoings will usually be far lower than your income, alowing you to save a great deal.
(McChinaman banned, Wed 16 Nov 2011, 0:07, 2 replies)

Travelling to/from anywhere along the North Wales coast by Train?
Inverness to Bangor £131

Inverness to Dublin Ferryport £38

Penzance to Rhyl £135

Penzance to Dublin Ferryport £33

and get off at your preferred station. This may actually constitute breach of contract, but I'm an engineer, not a lawyer, so I'm not sure.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 21:14, 10 replies)

Invade Poland

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 21:08, 6 replies)

been doing stints as
a volunteer advisor at the citizen's advice bureau on and off for a few months now. As part of the training in addition to dealing with benefits, homelessness, consumer rights and immigration we also spend a fair amount of time with debt. Which includes getting a plastic bag of bills plonked on the desk which we have to sort in order of priority and list up a plan of action for the client.

Of all the options and scenarios with clients in serious debt the option of going to a loan firm (those happy clappy ones with the pastel coloured adverts on daytime TV with the smiley actors) never came up. Ever. There is no debt that cannot be negotiated down first without recoursing to lumping them all together and paying off an even bigger sum over a longer time.

also prioritise bills , negotiating your council tax first (prison offence).

Baliffs working for debt agencies have nowhere near the amount of powers they claim. they operate and are successful by relying on your fear and ignorance of the law.

Negiotiate under every circumstance with the agencies you owe your debts . We even have a special password with councils when we operate on behalf of a client we use to get serious debts paid off for as little as £3.25 per week - but you need to come in to see us for us to do it for you. Courts look more favourably on you if you sincerely seek remedy to clear your debts. And most times it can be negotiated -they are only humans on the other end of the phone after all (most times). Charm works wonders.

Learn the Sale of Goods Act 1979 and Supply of Goods and Services Act 1982 word for word, parrot fashion to quote to shop managers . You may feel like Raymond from Rain Man as you do it, but you will save yourself a fortune in replaceing faulty/ not fit for purpose goods.(I noticed one shop assistant last christmas telling customers they only had 1 month to return the item as he was handing them their receipt - bollocks they do) . Also if they say they can only replace teh faulty item if you still have the till receipt, proof of purchase can also be your card statement. So bollocks to that too.

The CAB is independant, free, confidential, a registered charity and every one in there is working for nowt, not a sausage (apart from senior management and certain specialist legal advisors). They do it for no pay because they genuinely care. A rare group of individuals from all walks of life, whom I consider it a privilege to work along side - they will bend over backwards to work on your behalf. - use it, support it - it's there for you (and they are always looking for volunteers)

and most importantly we have a social policy aspect which puts the breaks on legislation that most of the public aren't even aware of. You have no idea how much draconian shit would be passed if this thin line was not here to hold back the tide and challenge it.

Things I give advice on outside of my role within the CAB (obviously), just to confirm (for the trolls), the information now following is stuff I do not advise clients on within my role within the CAB and it has no connection with it :

TV licence - you are not obliged to answer any questions or confirm your name or address to the inspector - politely and respectfully close the door on them - they can do fuck all to make you pay this ridiculous tax (and if you're into papier mache or have a kitty litter tray which needs lining why not recycle and put their endless dickless threat letters to good use?)
EDIT: Youtube: How to deal with the TV Licence Inspector, filmed encounter By Kroaky

this goes for anyone who is claiming authority over you who asks you your name - simply ask "am I obliged to answer you" - if they say yes - ask them to tell you under what law. Then read off the definition of an 'act' and 'statute'. Which includes you needing to give consent for the act to be used on you.(you do this unknowingly by giving your name btw - the name on your birth certificate- as the registration process of your birth certificate created the legal joiner between you and your 'person'(corporation). The legal instrument they use to convince you statutes have power over you - understaning this makes all the difference -EDIT: link as a short intro for the curious (specifically the section from 1 min 31 seconds to 3 min 50 seconds) and this (specifically the bit at 4 min 55 seconds) - if you want to get really serious buy a legal dictionary (Blacks 5th) and get into the actual definitions of the language they are using against you. Legalease isn't english. Do not assume those words mean what you think they mean. Inigo Montoya had a point.

As a caveat to this however...if you have caused harm or loss to another human being you are lawfully obliged to cooperate with a peace officer and you get all you deserve as far as I'm concerned

UK Census 2011 - likewise, no communication = no fine for non compliance, they can do fuck all. do not fall for the intimidation. it relies on your ignorance of the law and fear. If you want to safe guard your privacy and ID have nothing to do with this kind of bollocks. There are no reassurances any company can give to keep your intimate personal details safe from leaks, hackers or just plain ineptitude (leaving the memory stick on the frigging tube).

water bills - even if you don't pay they cannot cut you off - it's a basic human right

When a private debt collection agency 'buys' the debt from the bank it has then cleared the debt. It is now a third party private company trying to recoup the money it bought your debt for. This alone should be a big enough clue -

EDIT - Bills of Exchange Act 1882: You are not lawfully bound to pay anything which is unsigned www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Vict/45-46/61 debt collectors buy debts in some estimates for less than 10p in the pound, after the bank writes the debt off. Under the Bills of Exchange Act 1882, the debt agency is actually paying off the debt when they buy it. They then trick you into creating a new contract with them by asking how much you could pay. When you agree (i.e as little as £1 per week)- they now have a contract with you, where none existed.
( Clay hopes this bit is long enough to promote my websi, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 21:01, 11 replies)

Seriously though...
Collecting rain water in a barrel saves money on water bills, and many fast food places will give you their used vegetable oil.

Just add washing up liquid and whisk to make your own milk.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 19:54, 5 replies)

You can buy enough paracetamol to kill yourself for under a quid.
I can lend you a quid.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 19:36, 18 replies)

Move the garden fence into the neighbours garden by about a millimetre a week. They’ll never notice the change and in only 153 years you’ll have subsumed their property into yours.

Pro tip: You can do this at night at the same time as you’re stealing one of his bees.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:51, Reply)

Save money on toilette roll by only eating meat.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:45, 8 replies)

Don't go out
Stay in and have a wank.
(zebby wasting irony here on, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 17:20, 3 replies)