What is the difference between a breeze (cinder - for the yanks) block and STDs?
A 3 year old can't carry a breeze block
(dethsd, Sat 11 Mar 2006, 18:03, Reply)

Not sick, more racist.
A black boy is playing in the kitchen and he covers himself in flour.

He goes up to his mother and says "Mummy, look at me ! I'm not a little black boy anymore I'm a little white boy!"

WHACK ! His mum slaps him around the head, "Go and tell your Father what you just said !"

So the little black boy, complete with sore cheek walks into the living room and says to his Father "Daddy look at me ! I'm not a little black boy any more I'm a little white boy!"

WHACK ! His father kicks him in the balls, "Go and tell your Gran what you just said !"

So the little black boy hobbles into the garden and says to his Gran "Granny look at me ! I'm not a little black boy any more I'm a little white boy!"

WHACK ! His gran punches him in the nose.

Standing there with blood pouring down his face, clutching his balls he says "I've only been a white boy for 5 minutes and already I hate you black bastards!"
(Mr Dan is the man, Sat 11 Mar 2006, 16:06, Reply)

I told this at an Xmas dinner once, instead of the joke that actually came out of the cracker...
Q) What's the smallest pub in the World?
A) The Thalidomide Arms.
(monkey_man, Thu 9 Mar 2006, 16:29, Reply)

Stevie
Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Because he's black.

I told this to a friend of mine who is black. She never spoke to me again.
(Zawzaws, Thu 9 Mar 2006, 13:40, Reply)

oldy but goody
4 men are discussing what is the fastest thing in the world. man 1 says " thought is, you think about moving and you move", man 2 says " no its blinking, you do it all the time and don't realise" , man 3 says " electricity, you flick a switch and hundreds of miles away a light turns on straight away", man 4 says" all wrong , it's diarrhea,i needed the toilet and before i could think, blink or turn on the light, i'd shit myself!"
(gedo69, Thu 9 Mar 2006, 12:17, Reply)

erk
Why did Princess Diana drive in a Mercedes?
She wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo
(jayj101, Thu 9 Mar 2006, 12:13, Reply)

hee hee
What do 20th Century Princessess turn into after midnight?
Cement Pylons.
(jayj101, Thu 9 Mar 2006, 12:12, Reply)

ho ho
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach? Excuse me, you're in my son!
(jayj101, Thu 9 Mar 2006, 12:06, Reply)

ha ha
so, what's the story with Michael Jackson dangling his baby over the balcony? He usually just tosses them off!
(jayj101, Thu 9 Mar 2006, 12:03, Reply)

My last post (4 2day)
What do you call a field full of niggers picking cotton?

The good old days
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 17:07, Reply)

The definition of 'disgusting'?
2 vampire bats fighting over a used tampon
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 17:06, Reply)

What's small pink and smells like holly?
Ian Huntley's dick
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 17:03, Reply)

What do you call...
...the first paki in England?

Amir (I'm here) *lol*

...the paki who didn't believe him?

As if!
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 17:02, Reply)

A paki, a jew and a nigger are falling off a cliff...
who hits the ground first?

Who gives a shit

A paki and a nigger are falling from a tree who hits the ground first?

The paki my rope stopped the nigger
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:54, Reply)

Wacko Jacko
Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham) claimed she was having an affair with Michael Jackson, roughly around the time Beckham was shagging Rebecca Loos. Michael Jackson, however, denies the allegations claiming that he was in Brooklyn at the time!
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:52, Reply)

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want it still won't fucking come to you
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:49, Reply)

What do you call a paki transvestite?
Manish
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:49, Reply)

What do you call a paki lesbian?
minge eater
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:48, Reply)

What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
Suckmycockyoubitch
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:48, Reply)

Princess Diana
When her car crashed what was the first thing to go through Princess Diana's head?

Her arse
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:44, Reply)

Made Me Chuckle
A guy pulls his car up next to a little kid and says "I'll give you a sweet if you come in my car"
To which the kid replies "Give me the bag and I'll cum in your mouth"
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:35, Reply)

Did you know...
I've got a paki in my family tree?

He's still hanging there
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:33, Reply)

A Couple Of Sickies
Whats the definition of 'sickness'?

Fingering your little sister and finding your dads wedding ring up there!

Whats worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow?

Sobering up in the morning and realising you fucked it
(sickprophet Injuring Disabled Animals, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 16:32, Reply)

One for the Kiwis...
Why's it better to go down on a maori chick than go to a powhiri?

Cos then you only have to rub noses with one black cunt...
(winestain, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 1:57, Reply)

Made this one up myself
Man 1:I can never masturbate on an empty stomach
Man 2:We'd better go and feed the kids then
( Didyoumissme1, Tue 7 Mar 2006, 1:42, Reply)

Even worse!
How do you make a five year old girl cry twice?

Wipe your blood-smeared cock on her favourite teddy.
(KingOfMyCastle, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:39, Reply)

Hold your stomach!
Whats the definition of 'disgusting'?

Putting 12 oysters up an old lady's cunt and sucking out 13.
(KingOfMyCastle, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 19:38, Reply)

Knock knock
Who's there?
Hitler.
Hitler who?
For denying the holocaust you are now sentenced to 7 years in an Austrian prison.
(greenycrimson I stole the from pyschotherapist, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 14:39, Reply)

Fairly old one.
Man comes home one night, and finds his wife arse naked in bed with another man, with his ear on her left breast.

Cue the husband shouting, "What the f*** are you doing?"

The guy replies, "Listening to music."

The husband, confused & curious, puts his ear on her right breast and says, "I can't hear anything."

"That's because you're not plugged in."
(Purple Jonax, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 14:36, Reply)

Chyea, they exist...
What do you call a black man who flies an aeroplane?

A pilot you fucking racist.
(Pingoo likes cheese, Sun 5 Mar 2006, 14:49, Reply)