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This is a question World's Sickest Joke

Tell us your jokes.

(, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 18:01)
Pages: Latest, 82, 81, 80, 79, 78, ... 1

This question is now closed.

abortions
Q: How would you define the term "blood brothers"?
A: Two abortions in a bucket.

Or

Q: What do you call two abortions in a bucket?
A: Blood Brothers.

Ahem.

Thank you.
(, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 23:29, Reply)
cocks
i am spamming
(, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 19:23, Reply)
Classic racism
Q: Did you here the one about Klu Klux Evil Kanevil?

A: He tried to jump ten burning n*ggers in a steam roller!
(, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 4:58, Reply)
what do you call...
...a black man with a job.
answer: like a black man has a job! you thick cunts..
(, Sat 15 Apr 2006, 21:56, Reply)
hell here i come
a Tesco store in pakistan colapsed, there were only two fatalities, ah well, every little helps

sory couldn't resist it!
(, Sat 15 Apr 2006, 0:48, Reply)
Prison League Boxing;
Harold Shipman remembered for his killer jab.
(, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 15:44, Reply)
joke
did you know paki's actually have transparent skin; they're just full of shit.
(, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 15:19, Reply)
What turns a fruit into a vegetable?
Aids
(, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 12:52, Reply)
Babies ^-^
How do you get 100 babies in a bucket?

With a blender.

And how do you get them back out?

Doritos!
(, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 1:03, Reply)
I thought of another 1, again apologies
Q: How many Jews can you get in a mini?

A: 5 in the seats & about a million in the ashtray!

I'm not proud but I like to think its good for the soul to get these things out you know?
(, Fri 14 Apr 2006, 0:38, Reply)
Salesman goes and knocks on a front door
and little Johnny answers the door. 'Scuse me son' asks the salesman, 'is your mum in?.

'Sorry mister' says little Johnny, 'She's in the garden fucking a goat. 'Fucking a goat?!, Christ, I don't believe it' says the salesman. Little Johnny tells him to go and see for himself, so walking through the house and looking out the window, he sure enough sees little Johnny's mum in the garden fucking a goat! "Jeezus son, doesn't she worry about getting pregnant?' asks the salesman. 'Naa-aa-aa-aa-aa' bleats little Johnny.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 21:47, Reply)
So, this bloke with no arms walks into a pub.
Asking the barman where the gents are, he's pointed towards a door at the back of the pub.

After the bloke hasn't reappeared 15 mins later, the barman, being a thoughtful chap, asks one of the regulars to go and see if the armless chappie is ok.

Regular goes into the gents and sees armless chappie just standing in front of the urinals, looking a tad uncomfortable. 'You alright mate?' he asks. 'Oh shit, I really didn't want to ask' said armless bloke, 'but I lost my arms today, and I'm just gonna piss meself if i can't get me old chap out and take a leak. Is there any chance....'.

Oh jeez, thinks regular bloke, poor bastard, but he's not happy at the thought of handling the armless blokes tackle. 'Please, I'd do the same for you', pleads armless bloke. So regular guy takes a deep breath, thinks of the good karma this is bound to net him, and undoes the armless blokes flies to reveal this grotesque, warty, pus covered, sore infested cock. 'Gah!' he gags, but he hides his disgust. Just. And aims the fella into the urinals.

After helping him take a leak and zipping him back up, the regular bloke can't contain his curiousity any more, and says to the armless bloke, 'sorry mate, but I've got to ask, what the *fuck* is wrong with your old chap, its fucking disgusting?!'. 'I've got no idea whats wrong with it', replies the armless bloke, 'but', popping his arms back out from under his jumper, says 'I ain't touching the fucking thing!'.
(, Thu 13 Apr 2006, 21:19, Reply)
What is a Jew's worst nightmare?


Free pork.
(, Wed 12 Apr 2006, 15:25, Reply)
so very sorry but there is 2
Q: What do you do after you've had a baby?

A: Put the nappy back on!

Q: What is the similarity between bungie jumping and a nigerian prostitute?

A: If the rubber breaks; you're dead!
(, Wed 12 Apr 2006, 8:13, Reply)
gene pitney
it is going to take three weeks to build gene pitney's coffin from oak but only 24 hours from balsa
(, Mon 10 Apr 2006, 15:43, Reply)
Puke
Long story short.

Woman gets tired of her drunk cunt of a husband always coming home from the pub and ralphing up his evening's supper in the sink.

Heads down to the butcher's and comes back with ten pounds of cow stomach and intestines. If he sees THIS in the sink tonight, she figures, he'll be scared sober and lay off the booze for a while.

That night, she stays awake, hears the boyo come in, pissed as usual. Sound of vomiting. Scream. Loud clattering. Ten minutes of what sounds like frightened gurgling and retching. Then her husband stumbles into the bedroom and collapses at the foot of the bed.

"Dear," the wife says innocently, "is something wrong??"

"God yes," the poor bastard says. "I puked my damned guts up in the sink just now, but with the grace of God and a wooden spoon I got them back down again..."

(Friend of mine used this one in the lunchroom at school when I was a mite, and fifteen kids lost their appetites.)
(, Mon 10 Apr 2006, 8:04, Reply)
Builder walks into pub crying....
Builder (walks into pub crying)
Barman "Why the tears?"
Builder "I`ve just seen the best pair of tits ever"
Barman "So why the tears?"
Builder "they were in the skip round the back of the cancer hospital"

I`m going to hell :0S
(, Sun 9 Apr 2006, 19:06, Reply)
:0)
What`s got one ball & fucks women?

Peter Sutcliffe`s hammer.

:0( ouch!
(, Sun 9 Apr 2006, 19:02, Reply)
Chat up line....
Q...What`s got a massive dick, is great at sex & speaks French?

A...Moi!

(an added gyrate always adds to the joke)

;0)
(, Sun 9 Apr 2006, 19:00, Reply)
Whats the fleshy part around a Vagina called?
Who cares?!

(Sorry plagarised from www.b3ta.com/questions/sickjokes/post51726/)
(, Sun 9 Apr 2006, 3:45, Reply)
Hilarious, and very nasty
This works best when dropped into a serious conversation about the Holocaust/Second World War/Nazi's etc.

"My grandfather died in the Holocaust. It was really awful. He fell off his guard tower".
(, Sat 8 Apr 2006, 15:37, Reply)
How many women does it take to decorate a room?
Depends how thinly you slice them
(, Sat 8 Apr 2006, 15:27, Reply)
Why do black men always get killed first in wars?
Because when the sargeant shouts GET DOWN! they all start dancing
(, Sat 8 Apr 2006, 15:23, Reply)
A paedophile goes for a walk one day and sees a little girl crying by the edge of a cliff
he says 'little girl why are you crying'?
She says 'I just came out of the car for a wee and it rolled off the edge
and my whole family were in it, now theyre all dead'
'Well' says the peadophile and unzips his fly 'its not your lucky day is it'
(, Sat 8 Apr 2006, 15:21, Reply)
Ver y racist, perhaps
What do you do if you see a pakki on the floor with half a face?

Stop laughing and reload
(, Sat 8 Apr 2006, 15:18, Reply)
what outranks a princess?
A British Airway's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers: "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines." he said, "I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground"

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,

"Well sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.

Tray-up bitch."

can't tell this in the pub as the landlords are a pair of poofs and wouldn' take too kindly too it!!
(, Sat 8 Apr 2006, 14:57, Reply)
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
(, Fri 7 Apr 2006, 15:50, Reply)
Not really a sick joke, but i laughed none the less..
George W. Bush and Tony Blair are sitting in the oval room of the White House, discussing their recent plans for War on the East.

Amidst discussions, Mrs. Bush walks into the room, carrying a tray of Tea and biscuits.

Mrs. Bush asks them

"What are you talking about fellers?"

George W. sits looking smug and begins to explain his plans.

"Well, we are going to go to war with the east. We have a plan we think will work" he says.

"Using our own special weapons of destruction, We're going to kill 10,000,000 muslims and 1 dentist."

Mrs. Bush looks puzzled

"Why are you going to kill a dentist??" she asks.

Tony jumps from his seat and exclaims:

"See, I told you the plan was flawless! I told you no-one would ask about the Muslims!"
(, Fri 7 Apr 2006, 13:13, Reply)
I dont think this is already on here...
Whats cracked when you fuck it and fucked when you crack it?

A baby's pelvis
(, Fri 7 Apr 2006, 10:31, Reply)
sick joke
What's worse than letting Michael Jackson babysit your kids?
Letting Ian Huntley give them a bath
(, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 22:34, Reply)

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