Squirrels are always good for a laugh.
Back in the 80s I lived in a small town and had a house on the edge of a lake. As it was all farm fields across the road and rather swampy land on either side of me, I had loads of wildlife all around, especially birds.

I got a bird feeder and put it up at the shore. And, of course, the squirrels drove off all the birds and gulped down expensive seed like Roseanne going after caviar.

One day I got annoyed and moved the feeder about three feet out into the lake. Did it stop them? Of course not, they merely leaped at the pole and shinnied right up.

So I coated the pole with a thick layer of Vaseline.

Picture a normally acrobatic and agile squirrel flying through the air to deftly land on a pole and climb it as he has done before, only now he's spinning around like a spastic pole dancer before landing nose first in the lake.

Hens be damned- there's nothing in the world madder than a wet squirrel.

Made for a great Saturday morning comedy show.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 24 Jan 2010, 23:18, 10 replies)

Does hell have no fury
like a wet squirrel?
Wish I'd seen that.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 8:26, closed)

Angry squirrels are amusing! My parents installed a wooden bird seed feeder on a tree and the squirrels promptly chomped through the wood to get at the seeds.

Dad covered the feeder in sheet aluminium. The first squirrel to see Dad's handiwork danced around in fury and started taking chunks out of the tree in frustration!
( Vambo, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 8:43, closed)

Grey Squirrels are only fluffy rats
Bastards.

Red squirrels are proper cute though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 9:12, closed)

.
Worse than that, they're fluffly american rats...
(mersault, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 13:10, closed)

Are they?
As a kid we always had red squirrels in the Adirondacks, and it's only been of recent years that there have been grey ones up there. I had assumed that the red ones were native to the Adirondacks and that some fuckwit had brought in the greys.

I wonder if it was the other way around?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 25 Jan 2010, 16:28, closed)

Grey squirrels were introduced to UK in 19thC
And helped to displace proper UK red Squirrels in almost all of England.

I didn't know they were doing the same in the States.

Poetic justice, Red ones are so damned cute, and grey one's would rip your face off.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 17:33, closed)

Squirrel facts!
there are currently around 3 million grey squirrels in the UK, and about 160 thousand red.

Greys breed faster, strip bark from trees that the reds like/need, and the greys carry squirrel pox, which doesn't affect them, but kills reds.

There you have it squirrel fans.

I even have this information set to a 38 minute prog rock epic by my mate and I, called The Red Squirrel / Grey Squirrel Scenario.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:16, closed)

Hahahahaha marvellous. I wish to see this.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 25 Jan 2010, 9:32, closed)

I highly recomend it.
If you have a feeder on a six foot tall pole, grease the top four feet of it. They try to run up it, only to have their feet slip so they're pulling a Scooby Doo halfway up. And they don't give up.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 25 Jan 2010, 16:30, closed)

Today I has been mostly trying to stifle office lols...
And you're not helping damnit!

*click*
( snee held his breath since, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 14:53, closed)