Airline Fun
An ex of mine told me on many occasions about my fondness for shouting obscenities in my sleep. Not just swearing, but bellowing running commentaries on the wrongest, most degrading sex dreams that anyone could ever have. I think it used to worry her initially but after a while she found it quite funny.

Once, on my own on a flight between Australia and the UK I found myself being rudely awoken by a concerned looking stewardess.

"Are you alright?" she asks me.

"Well I was fine until you woke me up!" I replied, rather testily.

"Yes, sorry about that... We were just a little worried about you... You were, um... shouting."

At this point I look around the cabin to see about a hundred other passengers, mostly with their Qantas blindfolds pushed up on foreheads, staring daggers at me with looks ranging between shock, anger, genuine fear and repulsion.

"Um... what was I shouting?" I ask the stewardess sheepishly.

"Never mind... we just wanted to check you were ok."

I never did find out what filth I was screaming at my fellow passengers, but I think it's safe to say that it wasn't pleasant judging by the looks I got for the next 13 hours.
(fla383 hasn't taken his medication since, Mon 27 Aug 2007, 3:17, Reply)