I won a cricket match once
At school, I was firmly in the bottom set for every sport.

For some sports, this was a godsend. Top set boys hockey got to play the girls, and the girls who played hockey were scary. They outplayed, outweighed and outgunned their male counterparts, who usually returned looking like they had been trampled into the mud. Which they had.

Anyway, 4th-set cricket is tedious beyond belief, on the grounds that most of the runs are wides (from the terrible bowling), and most of the wickets are self-inflicted. For the rest of the time, you just watch the balls trundle by the inept batsman as he flails the bat at it 2 seconds late.

It was a hot, sunny day in about 1982. Our opponents this day had managed the impressive score of 7 all out, and we were on 4 runs for 9 wickets, with the last man (me) still to go in. My helpful team members had attached pads to my shins, thighs, arms, and I had one as a hat. After strolling in, then strolling out again to remove the non-regulation items, and strolling back in again, it was my turn to face the bowler.

Fwiff, fwiff, go the balls as they sail past. Fwiff, fwiff, goes my bat as it fails to connect. Zzz, zzz, goes everyone else. We switch ends. My partner gets a single. I'm facing again.

Fwiff. Fwiff. Clonk! Miracles, I've hit it! And as the fielders are all asleep or playing I Spy Wildlife, it bimbles aimlessly toward, and then over, the boundary.

Four runs! We win! Our teacher declares the end of play and to my surprise I am carried off the pitch by my team-mates, which is the most exercise they have had all afternoon.

The disaster was that this was my single positive memory of sport at school.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 14:07, 1 reply)

Click
Just for wearing a pad as a hat!
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 19:41, closed)