Football
I'm very bad at football. Always have been. It's a terrible curse for a young boy to bear, and the source of much amusement for my friends at school as well as the source of much bullying from my enemies at school.

At University, I feel in with a group of lads who loved watching football. We spent our evenings drinking and smoking and were in far too poor a physical state to be much good at it but such was their love of the beautiful game that they decided to enter a team in the University football league.

Sadly for them, it was a very sporty institution indeed. In their first outing they were thrashed 20 nil, and the opposition gave them three cheers for even bothering to turn up and play. Undeterred they ploughed on. In the next game, it turned out they were a man short.

They asked me to play. I explained that it wasn't a good idea, but they insisted. And so, several years after I thought I'd played football for the last time, I took to the field once again.

I don't recall the score. But the next time they were a player down, bad as they themselves were as a team, they played with ten men rather than have me play again.
(MattDP (Squiggle), Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:18, Reply)