Life saving
I do surf life saving. The sport. What that basically is, is everything to do with surf life saving,except the life saving bit.

So, its rescue board races, racing IRBs (life saving boats), swim races, flag races (essentially musical chairs), and swim racing. It's lots and lots of fun, very sporting, and gets the theme tune from Baywatch stuck in your head, except the Hoff never seems to have to wear the silly hats.

So, one event involves a team of two. One member of the team swims out to a marker buoy beyond the breaking waves, and then the event is ready to start. What happens is the other team member paddles out on a rescue board, 'rescues' the other team member waiting by his buoy, and then they both paddle in together.

Well,in this particular event, the chap on his buoy was never rescued. The event finished, and he's still out there waiting to be picked up. No sign of his rescue anywhere. The safety boat is called in to find the paddler. No sign. Shit, this 'sport' life saving might rapidly turn into real life saving.

Then his partner is noticed on the beach, helping everyone look for his very self. He's fully dressed. Munching a pasty, but scanning the break for a floating board. 'What the fuck are you doing?' he's asked.

He'd wandered up the beach for a bite eat, oblivous that his event had started. Then came back to see what all the excitement was.

Idiot.
(inflateable, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 21:54, Reply)